Montana 1968 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) This is quite a long story so i do apologise beforehand......My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had both tried NC but it was too hard for both of us, the longest time he managed it was 3 weeks, he stopped talking and texting me, he totally shut me off. It was my birthday last week and out of the blue i got a "Hope you have a lovely birthday" message from him !!!, this was after the 3 weeks of NC. I know i shouldn't have done it but I replied "Thank You for thinking of me", then we had a text conversation, it felt like old times, very relaxed. We both started to talk about the good old days, things that had happened in the past and he told me that he missed me a lot, was still in love with me and wanted to "Take Things Slowly" between us again. I asked him what he meant and he said that he didn't want to mess things up again between us ( it was a LDR ) by rushing stuff. I said I understood but wasn't really sure what the rules were regarding taking things slow, could i text him ?, he said "Yes, of course". We'd text each other on and off for a few days but then he would do things like just disappear during a conversation say "BRB" and not come back to me for 4 hrs. He has been suffering from depression and told me that he had felt like ending it all and he would have if it wasn't for his 3 girls keeping him going. I was always very supportive of him, a good listener and cared about his feelings. A few days ago i told him that i could travel down to visit him for a weekend if he wanted and he replied that he can't make any plans just at the moment because his work was having major changes... shifts etc. I said it was a shame because don't often get chance to spend time together, he said that he can't throw a sick day because he needs to keep his nose clean and couldn't afford to lose his job. I then said something stupid that I really regret in hindsight I said "this isn't looking good again is it" and he said "Don't be like that, he explained that i knew he wanted to take things slowly", I asked him if he still wanted us and he said "Yes, but don't say things like that". He then went quiet on me for a day and i asked him if he was ok ?, he said that he can't give me as much as I need at the moment but it's the best he can do and that obviously i didn't want to take things slowly ?" and i haven't heard from him for 2 days now. He's ignoring my texts. What is going on guys, I've blown it haven't I ?. The tears have started to flow again, I don't want to lose him again. He said that we were soul mates and that he could imagine his life without me in it ? Please don't be too hard on me guys, I'm feeling pretty low. Edited September 7, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
NoMoreJerks Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I don't think you ruined anything. IMO, he's just not that into you. He's trying to lower your expectations. If you're going to re-establish a relationship, with such low expectations from the very start, because he "can't give you what you want at the moment", then imagine what it's going to look like 6 months down the line. Usually people are at their best at the start of any relationship, even when they get back together after a breakup. Honestly, I think you're wasting your time and this guy is trying to see how much he can get away with. I think your thread title sums it up, really. Mind games. Run away from this guy like your life depended on it. 1
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