holly25 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Ok so basically I was involved in a long distance 'relationship' sort of for like 9 months. He ended it because of the distance even though it was almost time for me to go out there. He was impatient and pushy plus he just couldn't do it anymore. I did schedule once and then cancel but that was because of health issues. Anyway so I'm going out there soon to transfer schools. Should I contact him and let him know I'm only 10 minutes from him now or just leave him alone? Guys, would you accept or reject? Did the distance tear us apart or was he just over me? Should I contact him to let him know I'm literally so close to him? Guys, would you want to know that or not?
ThisGal Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) Girl let it go. The guy had no patience (a very important trait), he was pushy and uncaring (you were sick that's why you canceled, he should have shown you some compassion!) And that's the guy you want to bother with again? You're trying to re-invite someone that pathetic back into your life? Really?? He's going to assume you're so desperate that you initiated contact, and he'll prob think you moved away to be closer to him even if you insist it was for school (going to give him such an ego boost). And even if he does "accept" and seems happy that you are going to be close he's not going to respect you because really what self-respecting woman would want a guy who ditched her after 9 months of communication. It'll show him that he can get away with anything because you clearly don't mind lol. You tolerated his pushiness and his unsympathetic ways; and now groveling at his feet. Meet another man. This one was never interested and won't be now. I'm sure there will be plenty of men to meet at your new school. Edited September 7, 2013 by ThisGal 1
CherryT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 If he knew you were eventually coming, it should make him more patient and less pushy. There are a lot of couples here who still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but show love, patience and support. You're both in school and I think you should experience your new surroundings and meet new people. Distance is only an excuse when one or both people don't care/love each other enough to see a future. The fact you were moving should've been enough.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Sorry Cherry, have to disagree with this as this doesn't apply in my case, all sorts of factors can come into play when it comes to (not) moving countries, it's not necessarily because the couple don't care enough about each other to do it. Distance is only an excuse when one or both people don't care/love each other enough to see a future. The fact you were moving should've been enough.
justwhoiam Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 I think something important is missing here: how long ago did you stop talking to him? Two weeks ago? Three months ago. A year ago?? If it's anything over 2 months, I would keep no contact. Otherwise I'd give it a thought, though what ThisGal said is very true. He comes back if he really cares. Probably it was just a flirt from afar lasting for 3 seasons. And no more than that. It's very likely that he would take advantage of the situation.
CherryT Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Sorry Cherry, have to disagree with this as this doesn't apply in my case, all sorts of factors can come into play when it comes to (not) moving countries, it's not necessarily because the couple don't care enough about each other to do it. I think you may have misinterpreted what I meant. I didn't say that distance is an excuse for why a LDR fails. There are many factors as to why it can sustain even though moving is out of the question presently. What I meant was, specific to what the OP wrote, that distance seemed like an excuse for him. He ended it because of distance, but he knew it was temporary as she was already on her way to move close to him. In this case, I don't think distance was the reason but merely an excuse. If someone truly cared enough, the thought of their SO moving within the next 6 months would be something you look forward to and not something to cut off close to the move. I agree with you and like I said in the beginning of my response: There are a lot of couples here who still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but show love, patience and support. I agree, there are a lot of factors that restrict someone to shake their world upside down... it's not black or white. But I think in the OP's case, distance wasn't the reason for the break up.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 If I knew in my gut my partner left me because the distance was tearing us apart (which it is in my r/ship) then yes I would want to know if he was going to moving close by, it would at least give things a chance if it's 'meant to be'. If you mean he was impatient and pushy because he was eager to see you then I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, depends how how he went about if, if he got nasty about it then no I wouldn't go near him again. In your gut if you feel there's any chance for you two and it was only distance which was a problem, then yes contact him. When did you last speak to him though? Ok so basically I was involved in a long distance 'relationship' sort of for like 9 months. He ended it because of the distance even though it was almost time for me to go out there. He was impatient and pushy plus he just couldn't do it anymore. I did schedule once and then cancel but that was because of health issues. Anyway so I'm going out there soon to transfer schools. Should I contact him and let him know I'm only 10 minutes from him now or just leave him alone? Guys, would you accept or reject? Did the distance tear us apart or was he just over me? Should I contact him to let him know I'm literally so close to him? Guys, would you want to know that or not?
HeavenOrHell Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Yes, the distance is an excuse for some people, for sure. The OP's message wasn't clear to me when she would be moving, so I didn't know that he knew she would soon be moving there as her post doesn't say that, it just says she is there now. I think you may have misinterpreted what I meant. I didn't say that distance is an excuse for why a LDR fails. There are many factors as to why it can sustain even though moving is out of the question presently. What I meant was, specific to what the OP wrote, that distance seemed like an excuse for him. He ended it because of distance, but he knew it was temporary as she was already on her way to move close to him. In this case, I don't think distance was the reason but merely an excuse. If someone truly cared enough, the thought of their SO moving within the next 6 months would be something you look forward to and not something to cut off close to the move. I agree with you and like I said in the beginning of my response: There are a lot of couples here who still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but show love, patience and support. I agree, there are a lot of factors that restrict someone to shake their world upside down... it's not black or white. But I think in the OP's case, distance wasn't the reason for the break up.
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