stormer1092 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Its been over a month now since I was dumped and things seem to be getting better, new job, hanging out with old and new friends, and keeping busy. But the mornings are just terrible for me. I'll wake up at 6am and the first thought in my head is her. I try to fall back to sleep and no use, it just makes me think even more. No matter what time I go to bed its around 6am I'll wake up. I'll be up till 3am and wake up at six. The thought of her wakes me up. I want to know if anyone else has had this experience and how they delt with it.
crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Its been over a month now since I was dumped and things seem to be getting better, new job, hanging out with old and new friends, and keeping busy. But the mornings are just terrible for me. I'll wake up at 6am and the first thought in my head is her. I try to fall back to sleep and no use, it just makes me think even more. No matter what time I go to bed its around 6am I'll wake up. I'll be up till 3am and wake up at six. The thought of her wakes me up. I want to know if anyone else has had this experience and how they delt with it. Ofcourse we all do feel that.Your one has just been a month.My breakup took place 6 months ago and the 1st thing that still hits me is'how could he?'To answer your question,even i woke up like that at weird times,couldn't sleep properly for months.I used to wake up feeling all horrible and tears in my eyes even before i hardly opened my eyes.I had nightmares of my ex with another girl and weirdly i used to see the same thing just in different ways but with the same message of him being with this other girl(my ex left me for someone else.Ofcourse, later wanted to get back but i didn't).So things could have been horrible dear but it ain't for you.The only way it gets better is time and one more thing>always have something planned up for each morning.Don't give yourself the time to lie down in bed.Its going to go away slowly.It happens to all of us.Waking up with an empty and devastated feeling.
rainyday5 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Just got dumped on Wed and this has been happening to me too. I wake up at 5 am in the morning and I'm absolutely wide awake. The first thought that enters into my head is how I'll never be with him again and it's the worse feeling ever. I haven't been trying to get back to sleep, I just hop onto twitter and read the news or reread encouraging messages from my friends. It helps to get actively get my mind off him, I don't want to think about him but I guess my subconscious chooses otherwise! 1
hurts2death Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 its exactly how i feel too.... been 10 days since she dumped me out of 3 years RL... the mornings my chest is like a lorry is on it. i pain and cry too, after crying i feel slightly better.... i am just lost but you know what. its better to let it out..... the dumped us they made us disposable so what? they dont care at all so why we bother? i know why.. the most complex mechanism of nature takes action.. to save our "family" allthough the dna didnt evolve to this disposable and capitalistic of low ethics reality. so its better to view the things from an outer point we are not tools of nature but the mechanics.... -john
Mr Scorpio Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I absolutely had the experience of waking up early in the morning after only 2 or 3 hours of sleep. I assume it is caused by the emotional trauma. I dealt with it by staying in bed, not eating, and talking about it online with anyone I could. I don't recommend that course of action. You are better off to make a smoothie (because drinking is easier than eating on a broken heart) and hitting the gym. Exhaust your body and you might get more sleep. Otherwise, wait it out. It took me about a month before my sleep schedule returned to normal.
KCCK Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It happens. it's only 1 month since the BU, got dump by gf... I too woke up in the middle of the night and have this sudden memory flashback on how sweet the relationship was and wishing it was still the same..your brain tends to play mind games with you and I dont know why...haha... but I quickly turn to other thoughts such as planning on what needs to be accomplish for work later on and got myself back to sleep to get enough rest to go to work later... XD
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I can tell you how I tackled my mornings as they were excruciating as well. I was abruptly dumped off a 4 year relationship roughly 4 months ago. For the first two months the worst part of my day (not that any were any better) were the mornings. The second I would open my eyes I took your exact approach, I tried to go back to sleep, tossed and turned, or even went online on my phone to look her up. After a few weeks I learned that I was simply running in place. At that point, I decided to break the vicious cycle. The second I opened my eyes I would literally jump out of bed whether I woke up earlier than usual or not I would literally jump out of bed and get started with my day. I didn't allow myself a second to ruminate or go back to my old patterns. I was essentially taking a better approach. The trick is to catch yourself as you deviate your thoughts towards the past and reminiscing over the "great times" you and your ex spent together. This will take a lot of commitment and practice to accomplish. You have a life and should move forward with it. Focus on all the objectives that you will like to accomplish as you are now a free agent.
hopefulfaerie Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It's been 3 months for me and slowly, I mean excruciatingly slowly mornings are becoming more bearable. Mornings are definitely the worst. I remember the first few weeks were absolutely horrible! The moment I woke up to thst one second. The one(literally one second) that was the best part of my day. The one second when you almost forgot that you have to go all day with a broken heart. The one merciful second. . Until it all comes flooding back. It's getting better but yeah, mornings are just miserable. At least the morning anxiety is gone. Slowly healing I suppose. We all feel your pain and are here for you. 1
Author stormer1092 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Thanks for the replies everyone. Some days are worse then others and today is just a horrible day for me. Just seems like I can't get her out of my head. She was my first true love and I feel like she thinks I gave up on her.
Armyguy123 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I go through the exact same thing. I seem to wake up at 3am from a "Dream" (Nightmare) with my ex. Then again at 6am. It happens every single day and I feel terrible in the morning because of the futility of the situation. I want to be able to get full nights of sleep because I think I get more depressed the less sleep I get.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I go through the exact same thing. I seem to wake up at 3am from a "Dream" (Nightmare) with my ex. Then again at 6am. It happens every single day and I feel terrible in the morning because of the futility of the situation. I want to be able to get full nights of sleep because I think I get more depressed the less sleep I get. I'll tell you what helped me. I was helped by my buddies mom that studies the human mind. I was having almost real dreams where I would think I was awake and my ex was laying next to me in bed. I would actually have to check if she was there or not. But your conscious and subconscious mind are playing games on you. She told me before I go to bed to tell myself "do not think of her" "do not remember her" "do not dream of her" something along those lines and ever since then not one dream. It feels weird to talk to yourself but it helps. 1
Kizza Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I wake up and immediately he pops into my mind. It is instant, I can't help it. All those feelings come flooding in. It's a heavy feeling in my stomach, I run over things I have said/done - things he has said/done .... all this in about a 60 second period...then I put in my headphones listen to music or put on a youtube documentary and with someone else's words flooding my mind I drift off back to sleep. 1
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Mornings I remember where the hardest for me too. I found throughout the day I distracted myself and zone away from the unpleasant thought of a broken relationship. But thoughts cannot disappear without a trace. You have to deal with them in order to process them. You need to feel the sadness. And anger and regret and everything before you can store the thoughts in your little filin cabinet under "The past is the past". When you are asleep your mind has no restrictions. So the first priority tends to be the ones that leak out in dreams and in your sleep. You put down that wall and let yourself work through thoughts in your subconscious. And then when you awake all that work you did the day before of not thinking about it and distracting yourself is undone. You might be feeling like you're getting over your ex by not thinking about them but the fact is you can't. Just let yourself feel bro. Think about what emotion it is. And why you are feeling it. And I will move on in it's own time. As for what to do in the mornings at 6 when you wake up and she's on your mind. I used to use the time to go out back and beat the living piss out of my punching bag. Little bit of frustration release an body conditioning helped me heaps. Good luck.
LME Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 My bf and I broke up in June and while i am 1000x better now than i was compared to the first month or so after the breakup... 6/7 days of the week he is still the first thing that pops into my head when i wake up. Not in like a sad way that makes me cry or something but he just pops into my head. it's normal and it will get much better
Author stormer1092 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Mornings I remember where the hardest for me too. I found throughout the day I distracted myself and zone away from the unpleasant thought of a broken relationship. But thoughts cannot disappear without a trace. You have to deal with them in order to process them. You need to feel the sadness. And anger and regret and everything before you can store the thoughts in your little filin cabinet under "The past is the past". When you are asleep your mind has no restrictions. So the first priority tends to be the ones that leak out in dreams and in your sleep. You put down that wall and let yourself work through thoughts in your subconscious. And then when you awake all that work you did the day before of not thinking about it and distracting yourself is undone. You might be feeling like you're getting over your ex by not thinking about them but the fact is you can't. Just let yourself feel bro. Think about what emotion it is. And why you are feeling it. And I will move on in it's own time. As for what to do in the mornings at 6 when you wake up and she's on your mind. I used to use the time to go out back and beat the living piss out of my punching bag. Little bit of frustration release an body conditioning helped me heaps. Good luck. Yea I've been working out in the mornings to keep my mind off things. Lost close to 15 pounds in a month. But I try to not feel as much as my mind wants to because when I feel all the emotions coming back I want to just text/call her and I can't do that. I'm trying my hardest to let go and move on but in a small way I want her back. I guess time will tell. But I have gotten to the point where I don't need to reply to her texts so that's a step forward.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 My bf and I broke up in June and while i am 1000x better now than i was compared to the first month or so after the breakup... 6/7 days of the week he is still the first thing that pops into my head when i wake up. Not in like a sad way that makes me cry or something but he just pops into my head. it's normal and it will get much better Yea I don't cry anymore about this. I'm the type that can only cry so much and be like this ain't gettin **** done. Nothing but personal improvement for me. Thats how I'm surviving.
AlexanderJames Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Good work for acknowledging the forward steps. It's great to keep track of the things you're doing right. Sometimes it can all seem so negative that you lose sight of just how strong you are being. Exercise is what I love to hear! There really is nothing more rewarding. Physically and mentally. Even today I've been single nearly two years now. Flings here and there but I've been focussing on myself after a horrible breakup which brought me to this site two years back. I train so hard and start getting more and more happy with myself. And if I get rejected by a girl I just think well I still have kickboxing and I'm only going to get stronger and happier in my skin. Who knows what the future brings. There's no need to rush yoursel and try to run a marathon of feelings until you're better. Just as they come. You might find yourself feeling sad one afternoon and just feel it. Think about what exactly makes you sad. That she's gone. Or maybe that you're alone. Maybe you're sad because you have to get used to being a one man show again. There's lots of reasons you will feel sad. But when you feel them and acknowledge them. You can start working through them one by one. And sooner or later you're back to living life to the fullest. Also. Good work for not contacting her or replying to her messages. It puts you in the best spot you can be. You're in control and you're keeping it that way. Bravo
Author stormer1092 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Good work for acknowledging the forward steps. It's great to keep track of the things you're doing right. Sometimes it can all seem so negative that you lose sight of just how strong you are being. Exercise is what I love to hear! There really is nothing more rewarding. Physically and mentally. Even today I've been single nearly two years now. Flings here and there but I've been focussing on myself after a horrible breakup which brought me to this site two years back. I train so hard and start getting more and more happy with myself. And if I get rejected by a girl I just think well I still have kickboxing and I'm only going to get stronger and happier in my skin. Who knows what the future brings. There's no need to rush yoursel and try to run a marathon of feelings until you're better. Just as they come. You might find yourself feeling sad one afternoon and just feel it. Think about what exactly makes you sad. That she's gone. Or maybe that you're alone. Maybe you're sad because you have to get used to being a one man show again. There's lots of reasons you will feel sad. But when you feel them and acknowledge them. You can start working through them one by one. And sooner or later you're back to living life to the fullest. Also. Good work for not contacting her or replying to her messages. It puts you in the best spot you can be. You're in control and you're keeping it that way. Bravo I'm not someone to just sit around and do nothing. My whole life I've been an action taker and the hardest thing is to watch her leave and let it happen. But on the good side I'll be starting new things in life.
Brown-Eyez Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Its been over a month now since I was dumped and things seem to be getting better, new job, hanging out with old and new friends, and keeping busy. But the mornings are just terrible for me. I'll wake up at 6am and the first thought in my head is her. I try to fall back to sleep and no use, it just makes me think even more. No matter what time I go to bed its around 6am I'll wake up. I'll be up till 3am and wake up at six. The thought of her wakes me up. I want to know if anyone else has had this experience and how they delt with it. to get away from the repeating the 0600 wake up: get rid of all clocks in your bedroom, so when you do wake up you don't have anything to look at to remind you of the time (sadly you have been training your brain to wake up at 0600 just to torture yourself-not intentionally of course!) after a couple of days of not knowing the time you will still wake up earlier than normal (that's your grieving process) but not at any EXACT time.
abby_tx Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I'm happy to have found this thread! Mornings are definitely the worst for me too. Mainly because I keep having dreams about him. In all of my dreams, we are together. The breakup either never happened or it DID happen and he comes back to me. Then the cruel reality hits me and I drive to work in a depressive daze. Ugh. It sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone!
Author stormer1092 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 I'm happy to have found this thread! Mornings are definitely the worst for me too. Mainly because I keep having dreams about him. In all of my dreams, we are together. The breakup either never happened or it DID happen and he comes back to me. Then the cruel reality hits me and I drive to work in a depressive daze. Ugh. It sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone! I also had dreams of my ex. I had a few different ones but the one that stood out was me standing on top of a rock pulling her up it but she never made it. It actually helped me allot understanding this dream. The rock stood for a solid foundation and pretty much I know what I want out of life. Reaching for her pretty much means that she didn't want what I had. It makes perfect sense actually. But I'm a firm believer in your subconscious is trying to tell you something.
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