WP4046 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Would you agree that it shouldn't be before you meet face to face? This girl I am talking to for the past 4 days was annoyed that I wouldn't tell her my last name. I mean can we wait until date 2 or 3????
Scales Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Well for meeting online, there is a certain amount of sincerity that goes into knowing each others full name. Lets be real though, she wants to google you. Thats the only reason I can think of. 3
Author WP4046 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Well for meeting online, there is a certain amount of sincerity that goes into knowing each others full name. Lets be real though, she wants to google you. Thats the only reason I can think of. So why did women start doing this? A magazine recommended this?
ChessPieceFace Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Well for meeting online, there is a certain amount of sincerity that goes into knowing each others full name. Lets be real though, she wants to google you. Thats the only reason I can think of. "YOU GOOGLED ME?!?!" - public exclamation from a girl I almost dated once. One of those moments when you know all hope is lost LOL. Hypocrites. (I only googled her to try to get in contact with her again.) OP - no idea but I think it's an interesting topic. I'd say not before you meet in person though.
Lansing Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I can see a double standard on this where girls probably are told not to give it out and guys are expected to give it out, both for security reasons. I have not done online dating in a while but when I was I was giving people my real email address which has my first and last name on it.
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I can see a double standard on this where girls probably are told not to give it out and guys are expected to give it out, both for security reasons. I have not done online dating in a while but when I was I was giving people my real email address which has my first and last name on it. Me too. I don't have a problem giving out my first and last name at any time. They want to google. Nothing wrong with that. I have nothing to hide.
PlumPrincess Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Would you agree that it shouldn't be before you meet face to face? This girl I am talking to for the past 4 days was annoyed that I wouldn't tell her my last name. I mean can we wait until date 2 or 3???? She's way too nosy. Your last name is none of her business. Even after meeting face to face I don't think it's necessary that people know my last name. If she is annoyed and bugging you, dump her.
PlumPrincess Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I can see a double standard on this where girls probably are told not to give it out and guys are expected to give it out, both for security reasons. I have not done online dating in a while but when I was I was giving people my real email address which has my first and last name on it. That's not true. I find guys who are overly secretivea little bit unadventurous and conservative, but in general, I do not ask about last names and I do expect not to be asked.
curlygirl40 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 So why did women start doing this? A magazine recommended this? Yes, a magazine recommended this. Because women are too stupid to figure this out for themselves. Women are more concerned about their safety than men are when they are dealing with a stranger, really, and I'm not sure if men will ever get that. And once she has it, of course she's going to google not just to be nosy but to see if there's anything to be concerned about. I can't remember which LS member it was recently who found a concerning arrest record or maybe it was a sexual assault charge or something of someone she was going to meet up with. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
darkmoon Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I would not give out my surname - i might be too traceable if they are wierdies,
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I would not give out my surname - i might be too traceable if they are wierdies, So, when would you? As you are getting to know one another, when is the right time to give out your last name? What if the date asks you? Are you going to say no? Appear secretive? Shady?
white Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I don't get this googling people thing, I've heard it before. If someone googled my name they'd find nothing. Nothing at all. I've tested this. I don't even see why it would be otherwise. I'm not a celebrity. What is everyone else doing to be on google? Especially considering most people have much more generic names than myself. I have no problem giving out my name. My facebook is privacied up, nobody sees anything unless I friend them and there's nothing to hide there either.
Author WP4046 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 She's way too nosy. Your last name is none of her business. Even after meeting face to face I don't think it's necessary that people know my last name. If she is annoyed and bugging you, dump her. I always called it a "under the covers" question meaning that I would have to be intimate to share that information.
RedRobin Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I don't give out my last name because my name is very unique. They can find where I live, where I work... not going there for a stranger. I don't even have my real last name in meetups or other public activity groups. I'd give it out and explain if/when some mutual romantic connection was established. ... as far as the safety thing goes... you will not be able to Google 'serial killer' and find someone's name. Yes, there ARE some creeps out there. I still feel that taking time to get to know someone and relying on one's social network is better at filtering out the truly scary ones. I guess I also have a really good BS detector... asking people questions in person has worked best for me... I don't ask for their name either...
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I don't get this googling people thing, I've heard it before. If someone googled my name they'd find nothing. Nothing at all. I've tested this. I don't even see why it would be otherwise. I'm not a celebrity. What is everyone else doing to be on google? Especially considering most people have much more generic names than myself. I have no problem giving out my name. My facebook is privacied up, nobody sees anything unless I friend them and there's nothing to hide there either. There's a lot you can find out about some people by googling. Some people are much more available via social media they use. LinkedIn, FB, professional recognition, other sites. If you google my name, you'll find out about my profession, where I live, the papers I have been a part of, and other professional stuff. Not much, but enough to give someone an idea if I'm full of shyte or not about who I am. When you are more established professionally or by the nature of your proession, you may or may not be "discovered" while googling.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 When we meet. I don't have any problem with them verifying my info but I worry about some psychos tracking down my address....
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 When we meet. I don't have any problem with them verifying my info but I worry about some psychos tracking down my address.... Yeah, this is the biggest worry. So, the key is to limit your presence to the WWW. Easier said than done at times.
Author WP4046 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I thought if U were getting a good vibe from someone over the phone then it would be nothing to be suspicious. If I am not giving off a creepy vibe then why do u need to google me. Now If I said....."want come my place for some fun" then i could see someone being concerned
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I thought if U were getting a good vibe from someone over the phone then it would be nothing to be suspicious. If I am not giving off a creepy vibe then why do u need to google me. Now If I said....."want come my place for some fun" then i could see someone being concerned Come on. You know as well as I do that what people "say" is a lot different than what they "do." I can sweet talk anyone into thinking that I am a lawyer or some corporate buck to impress you and not sound creepy. People are more careful or due to access, open to checking out your story before they become committed. I google my dates. No reason not to. If they are legit, then there's nothing to hide, right? Besides, I don't go around telling my dates that I've googled them. I've had one date tell me, w/o hesitation that she googled me. I didn't give her my last name, but based on my description of my job and telling her where I worked (duh, dead give away), she googled, linkedin me. I had no problems with that. She was being careful and based on the behavior of so many from OLD, a prudent thing to do/attempt.
Author WP4046 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Come on. You know as well as I do that what people "say" is a lot different than what they "do." I can sweet talk anyone into thinking that I am a lawyer or some corporate buck to impress you and not sound creepy. People are more careful or due to access, open to checking out your story before they become committed. I google my dates. No reason not to. If they are legit, then there's nothing to hide, right? Besides, I don't go around telling my dates that I've googled them. I've had one date tell me, w/o hesitation that she googled me. I didn't give her my last name, but based on my description of my job and telling her where I worked (duh, dead give away), she googled, linkedin me. I had no problems with that. She was being careful and based on the behavior of so many from OLD, a prudent thing to do/attempt. But what if you don't get beyond date 3? Then that means she knows all that info about you for nothing. No women needs to know where I work before we get intimate
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 But what if you don't get beyond date 3? Then that means she knows all that info about you for nothing. No women needs to know where I work before we get intimate You're right. But some of us are pretty open about ourselves. Perhaps to a fault, but it's part of the numerous risks you take when dating and getting to know someone. Fortunately, I have yet to meet anyone to be concerned about.
Jbum5 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) But what if you don't get beyond date 3? Then that means she knows all that info about you for nothing. No women needs to know where I work before we get intimate There's a flaw in this logic, since many women (and just people in general) wouldn't get intimate with you if they don't know you. And part of getting to know you is conversation, which may or may not involve what you do for a living. Intimacy usually comes after knowing a person, not the other way around. Edited September 7, 2013 by Jbum5
darkmoon Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 So, when would you? As you are getting to know one another, when is the right time to give out your last name? What if the date asks you? Are you going to say no? Appear secretive? Shady? I recently refused to and the guy was in agreement "I can understand that" i politely pleasantly gave out false surname to a woman i do not trust, she has issues, i would tell a boyf if i trusted him, which is an instinctive thing (am i safe?) but issue-laden dumpees can turn very nasty, of either sex, i am naturally cautious mind you
Keenly Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 My name seems to be fairly common. Google my name and you'll see at least 12 businesses owners, law firms etc . I feel like she would find the wrong me and base a judgement off of that.
soccerrprp Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I recently refused to and the guy was in agreement "I can understand that" i politely pleasantly gave out false surname to a woman i do not trust, she has issues, i would tell a boyf if i trusted him, which is an instinctive thing (am i safe?) but issue-laden dumpees can turn very nasty, of either sex, i am naturally cautious mind you I think that most reasonable people would be understanding of not giving out your surname early on. 1
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