rainyday5 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) What can I do to speed along the healing process? What are some vital steps?? My first everything, bf dumped me. We were angry and exchanged some cross words. He walked away from me yelling into the neighbourhood that he was done with me and what a terrible bf he is and how low class he is. This all happened near midnight after a dinner that was suppose to be romantic as I was leaving next week (LDR). I've stood with him through the thick and thin. I've always encouraged him to achieve his goals, I tried so hard, I forgave so much and I gave all of this freely, maybe too freely... How am I even suppose to deal with all this hurt and injustice I feel when I leave the country in a week. We've known each other since high school (10 years) and I feel like I just got trampled all over while getting my heart scrapped against a grater. I don't even want him back..I just want this pain to stop. Edited September 7, 2013 by rainyday5
Ireallydontknow Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Okay first things first. Go NC, now! Don't be their friend, you'll make it easier to get hurt and let them move on through you! Next delete them from your life, facebook, phone, anything involving them, mementos, gifts, pictures. Next, face your emotions, cry, scream, get pissed, do not conceal or hide these things. I suggest writing. I like to write daily, and the next day I write I read my post before to myself. It lets me see how I've come along. Now, take a look at yourself. You aren't perfect, neither am I. Find the things in your life you dislike and can realistically change and go do that. I'm losing weight and about to start therapy to get over my dependency issues. There is no "fast way" to do this. Just be ready for the ride. It's hell! You'll survive. I'm one month tomorrow. It gets good and it gets bad. Some days you'll think screw them! The others will be OMG! I MISS THEM. No matter what in your moment of weakness do not break NC. You will only hurt yourself. Good luck, stay strong.
Author rainyday5 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I feel so foolish, I should have seen this coming and let him go early on but I kept on trying so hard to please him. I looked past how he wanted to go partying all the time which was a drastic change from when we first started dating last year. I looked past how his temper changed so dramatically this year, he would get mad over the smallest things. I don't know why I kept on forgiving him and taking the blame on myself. Ugh, I feel so pathetic and used! I'm trying to make a mental list of all my good traits that he so fervently told me were undesirable. I like your suggestion of writing it down!!
crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 What can I do to speed along the healing process? What are some vital steps?? My first everything, bf dumped me. We were angry and exchanged some cross words. He walked away from me yelling into the neighbourhood that he was done with me and what a terrible bf he is and how low class he is. This all happened near midnight after a dinner that was suppose to be romantic as I was leaving next week (LDR). I've stood with him through the thick and thin. I've always encouraged him to achieve his goals, I tried so hard, I forgave so much and I gave all of this freely, maybe too freely... How am I even suppose to deal with all this hurt and injustice I feel when I leave the country in a week. We've known each other since high school (10 years) and I feel like I just got trampled all over while getting my heart scrapped against a grater. I don't even want him back..I just want this pain to stop. You got lucky in one way that you ate leaving the country sometime soon.This is your chance to heal and that too faster.Travelling will keep your mind off of this travesty that took place.Start fresh and hopefully things will gradually fall into places.Just hang in there.I know this pain when you just want the pain to go away and its so frustrating when everything fails.I felt pain to an extent that i could hardly breathe.It hurt even to breathe,but just hang in there.This will go away.It has to.
Author rainyday5 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I'm leaving for school and I'm worried about how much it'll affect my ability to concentrate. But you're right, this pain has to go away. I've been feeling a bit angrier than hurt this past while, reflecting back, I feel like i haven't done anything wrong. I keep on telling myself, I'm in charge of my own emotions and his actions are his choices. I've done all I could and I shouldn't regret that. I shouldn't beat myself up for sticking to my beliefs on love.
KCCK Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Keep NC and focus on more important things in life.. your family, your studies and your future career... it takes time but you will be fine... =)
Author rainyday5 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Ugh, I keep on waking up in the middle of the night for some reason. I can't turn off my brain afterwards! I'm starting to really let myself think that I wasn't in the wrong. I shouldn't be feeling like **** and crying for my last few days at home... He sure as hell isn't at home feeling bad about treating me like garbage. I don't know what I want anymore. When I start thinking about all the times he's wrong me, I feel like I'm such a weak person to have let it happen over and over again
tintedblue Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 There's is no easy way, it's going to be rough and it will take a while. That is the reality, but the pain will go away at some point. The important thing now is to face the pain and recognize it for what it is. In the meantime, write down your feelings, and decide on ways to become a better person. You have more time now, and a huge space in front of you. The most important person now, is yourself. It is not a good idea to get in touch with him for any reason, and don't think of what happened and what could have been. It's all in the past now
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