jlola Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 I have a good friend ho is having a baby soon. His mother was always emotionally abusive to him,basically treating his differently than his 3 other brothers. His mother never bonded with him emotionally when he was born since she got very sick after the birth. So he was treated unfairly. His mother died 5 years ago. He wants to name his new baby after his mother. I did not say anything, but think it is weird. Especially since last week, he called to complain about how his disrespectfully his brothers treat him and he said they were following the example his mother set for them. I feel bad for him, but it seems he is looking for love from a daughter who he will name to replace his mother. Just odd.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Some people like to name children after other people in the family, even if the relationships had been difficult ones. It might also be part of his grieving process for his mother (which will still be going on), despite their tough relationship and the fact that you/he felt she was abusive in some ways, she was still his mother and I bet he still loved her and suffered deeply when she died (maybe even moreso than somebody who's never been abused... lots of unanswered questions, her 'getting away with it', and so forth). I wouldn't say anything to him about it, it's his choice, and he'll have his own reasons. It's not your place to do anything other than think about it without saying anything
Silly_Girl Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It would suggest to me that it's more about being at peace with the situation and the lost opportunity. Then a fresh beginning etc. It's not for me, that's for sure.
PlumPrincess Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Just ask him what his reason is to name his child after his mother.
gaius Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Probably still trying to win her approval in whatever way he can. Hoping that naming his kid after her will finally get him some real affection. Poor bastard. 1
Author jlola Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Just ask him what his reason is to name his child after his mother. I did ask and he said his wife and he just liked the name. I worry about him because he has deep self esteem issues which stems from how his mother treated him. He is a pleaser and foor years has been treated like crap by brothers and even the sister-in-laws. He finally had it with their disrespect. I feel he needs and seeks validation and approval. His mother had helped all of his brothers put large down payments on homes. But when he asked for help, she gave lame excuse of her money being tied up. When he divorced and asked her if he can stay at her house at the time tll he got back on his feet,she said no. Though two of his brothers who were recently divorced were welcome back to stay. He has always been nice to her. But from day one I noticed and he would be frank about how his mother treated him differently than the other brothers.
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