fanine Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 It would not be me not contacting at all. It would be disappear for a few days and then contact, disappear again and then contact. Where she would be confused but still interested Do you mean you contact her and then she ignores your texts or calls? That is a different matter entirely..or do you just mean if you don't contact her it takes a while for her to contact you.
ThisGal Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 ^ It would not be me not contacting at all. It would be disappear for a few days and then contact, disappear again and then contact. Where she would be confused but still interested No, he means he contacts her then stops, lets a few days go by then initiates contact again...giving her just a little of him so that she keeps wondering where he is. Then he pops up again. But he won't give too much of himself because he's playing these mind games because women like a 'hard to get' man. No one likes being teased. I wonder how long that'll last. Good luck with that buddy!
MrCastle Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 No one likes being teased? Women don't like men who play hard to get? Lol.
emva07 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I don't think that you really like her. If you really liked her you'd make it happen. Seems like it's more of an ego boost. You want to see how much she wants you.
fanine Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 No one likes being teased? Women don't like men who play hard to get? Lol. Well I can tell you any man who has tried to play hard to get with me I've told to take a running jump. And I've been pretty successful relationship wise. I'm not a kid and don't want to start dating a guy who is going to play games. I don't do them either. That's for the playground and when a kid. The majority of my friends have the same attitude as well..... Being teased is different, of course there is a certain amount of teasing but then again that happens when you know the other person more so you know how they take it, and they know how you will take it... 2
emva07 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) Women tend to do this far more often than men though. yes, this is true. Ego boost. I guess I'm too chicken to play that game, I'm not willing to lose a good catch over a tactic that may not work, lol. But I understand where these people are coming from....if she/he waits around for me, then they must REALLY like me. I get it. Edited September 8, 2013 by emva07
MrCastle Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Well I can tell you any man who has tried to play hard to get with me I've told to take a running jump. And I've been pretty successful relationship wise. I'm not a kid and don't want to start dating a guy who is going to play games. I don't do them either. That's for the playground and when a kid. The majority of my friends have the same attitude as well..... Being teased is different, of course there is a certain amount of teasing but then again that happens when you know the other person more so you know how they take it, and they know how you will take it... That's cool. And I'm sure most female members on here would say the same thing you're saying "that stuff doesn't work on me, etc etc" Yet almost every day, we have a girl making a thread about a guy who continues to play her but she rationalizes it and puts up with it. I have gotten more interest when I take a few days off from communicating with them, keep our conversations short and sweet, and not immediately show my hand. Have to keep them guessing and wanting more. You don't want to play yourself out or appear to be too available. There is a certain "hard to reach" aura that some people have that make them more attractive to others. 1
fanine Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I don't know but it all seems far more complicated these days. When I first started dating there was no email, mobiles, social media etc. You went out, you met people, you got their home number and it went on from there. There was not so much this constant desire to be in so much contact. It was harder in a sense I think to play games as you couldn't stalk on social media, you didn't have the dilemma over texts, whether to respond immediately or not etc. You just called their home number when hopefully they were in......or the super romantics would send a lovely letter in the post.... (I sound like I'm 90 - not true - early 40s but it is still very different now to 20 years ago) 1
emva07 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 and we can't assume that all people who do this to us are playing hard to get....most times it's actually people who just aren't interested. But people like to think that every time we get ignored it's probably them playing hard to get. I just call a spade a spade. No contact, no interest. If you want to say hi a month down the road, I'll be cordial and say hi back....but won't expect anything of you. 2
WP4046 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I don't think that you really like her. If you really liked her you'd make it happen. Seems like it's more of an ego boost. You want to see how much she wants you. I want to see some interest on her part before I treat her to dinner. I spend my money wisely in this new economy
fanine Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 That's cool. And I'm sure most female members on here would say the same thing you're saying "that stuff doesn't work on me, etc etc" Yet almost every day, we have a girl making a thread about a guy who continues to play her but she rationalizes it and puts up with it. I have gotten more interest when I take a few days off from communicating with them, keep our conversations short and sweet, and not immediately show my hand. Have to keep them guessing and wanting more. You don't want to play yourself out or appear to be too available. There is a certain "hard to reach" aura that some people have that make them more attractive to others. We are all different indeed in what makes us tick. Some people will be attracted by this... I just like someone when they are being well, normal. Obviously people are on their best behaviour when they first start dating, but still I like to go with the flow without over analysing and just be natural. But certainly too I want the other person to be busy in the rest of their life as well, as that means they are more likely to be an interesting person, rather than sitting home most days in their underpants playing playstation. I just like it if they are busy, they say they are busy, because they actually are etc etc.... 2
emva07 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Have to keep them guessing and wanting more. You don't want to play yourself out or appear to be too available. There is a certain "hard to reach" aura that some people have that make them more attractive to others. And that's cool, but I feel like for this to fly you have to know that the other person likes you. This is easier read in real life situations through body language and all but through txt, email, etc. It's hard to tell.
ThisGal Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I want to see some interest on her part before I treat her to dinner. I spend my money wisely in this new economy :laugh: 1
white Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 As far as I'm concerned if there's any interest, a woman will engage with you and agree to meet regularly. I'm happy to play the bull**** patriarchal role, make the contact, name the date and the activity, and I'll do that a few times, and if all you get is excuses or silence there's really nothing more I can do. There's playing hard to get and then there's unmistakable disinterest. If either he or she is going to really receive texts from someone who likes them and roll their eyes at the laughable keenness of it, or refuse to contact them because it makes them look too keen, then **** them. 2
Fondue Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 People usually see through bull**** really quickly. Trying to play "hard to get" or unavailable will soon result in her/him seeing it for what it is, a play. Genuinely busy people who don't NEED to play hard to get, but simply come off like that because they are well... busy, are the ones that have "success" with the opposite sex when it comes to communication standards. I had a thread a while back on multi dating many women. I had a date/activity for every day of the week. It was really difficult to maintain this pace, but I did it for a while. I had to ignore calls/texts and get back to them later because I was truly busy. Busy with other women/dates. I had things going on, I always had adventures. THAT made me look attractive. I wasn't playing a game, I was just friggin' busy. If you are purposefully trying to come off like that, it wouldn't happen. You have to be naturally in that situation. It increases 10fold when a girl asks you what you were doing on x and y night, and you say, "oh, I was taking a swing lesson! It was pretty awesome! Ever done it!?" She KNOWS why you are busy, and she KNOWS you have an active lifestyle. That's attractive. Making **** up isn't. Just my two cents. 2
RedRobin Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) I think texting works for people who like multidating... and need to keep lots of people in a corral while the sort things out. This isn't me. Not sure what the OP was... who initiates? who cares? To me, it's just another way for people to create a sense of intimacy that really isn't there. If I'm not talking to him on the phone, and not seeing him in person....then IMHO, he doesn't exist. Sorry. Here's an example... I met a guy last week, and he suggested we get together and I agreed, but it had to wait until next week (of course, he didn't set the date/time on the spot which was my first clue ). No... instead he wants to text me over the weekend. I said, "How about we get caught up next week. Let me know when you want to get together"... Done. It is now Sunday. Haven't heard from him. *shrug* sooprise, soooprise (not!). Edited September 9, 2013 by RedRobin
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