StaticZero Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 I have been dating this girl for a little over two months I really care for her and we made a commitment to eachother by her decision because I didnt want her to feel pressured. I have been nothing but a gentleman to her and let her know how much she means to me. Almost a week ago she came out and told me that she just did not have time for a boyfriend (Yet she still wants me around) I felt as if she was just scared of the feelings that she was having for me and was not going to except them because of past relationships (which she somewhat told me when we broke it off) She is stressed over family and school and says that she doesnt have time for a boyfriend (I think she just needs time to think about us) but she didnt say that. Anyways following the day that she told me that she didnt have time for a boyfriend she started calling me and text messaging me telling me how she missed me and was thinking about me, and was also calling me just talking. After about 4 days of this it was just to hard for me to deal with not only was I devestated about her telling me she didnt want a boyfriend I was getting all of these mixed signals from her (that i believe was saying that i mean alot to her to). So finally I just told her with the feelings that I had for her I just could not handle talking to her like evrything was ok, and said that maybe we should not talk for a while she cried and said ok. What I was hoping by doing this is that she would sit and think of whether she wants to be with me or not, because I just dont think you can do that and still be talking to someone because you are somewhat getting what you need when you are doing that. I felt like she needed no contact from me to decide what she wanted to do with her feelings. Now I am looking at this as she asked for no boyfriend I told her I respected that, but yet she is sending all these mixed signals, so I feel like she should be the one to call me right? But the problem is that it has only been two days and its driving me up the wall not hearing from her. I am now starting to feel guilty that what I did was wrong and that I have abandoned her and that she is sitting there saying "He should call me" but all of this she has brought upon herself. I dont know what to do and really need some insight on this please... I feel like she is playing mind games with me bc she doesnt know what she wants and basically by doing NC I have pulled the rug out from under her so to speak. She is 30 im 25.
Puma Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 ur situation resembles mine..a lot! its crazy..but i know what ur girl told you. when she told you that didnt you feel like u messed up? but you didnt..just acknowledge taht. its easy to put the blame on urself for a break when you get dumped..cause thats what i did. at first i didnt buy the whole not ready for relationship, busy with school, work, life, etc...but analyze her priorities a bit and think of what kind of person she is. ok now tell me..are those things important to her? if they are, then maybe she was dealin with too much stress as my gf was, and although it seems u are in an unfair receiving end to her frustration caused by her life, just realize taht she has to be her own person before she can even continue to love you. it took me a good sit down of thinkin to realize that one. but your girl is contactin you so tahts good..take advantage of that!! COMMUNICATE to her that u were hurt by her decision but that you understand why she did it..and COMPROMISE on things both of you can bring to the table, as so to speak, to help the relationship out. id appreciate it if you gave me an insight to my situation also thanks and good luck
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