crazy1234 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 hey guys, I dont know if you guys know my story but here it is in short, My ex and i got back after almost 2 years..To my shock he left me four months after dating,told me he liked someone else,mistreated me,ignored me,swore at me cause i was annoying him for asking whats wrong and yes to add to it,i found out they are already in a relationship shortly after a month of breaking up with me. Its been 6 months to my breakup and they'v been dating all along.She got everything i never did,the status on fb,their pictures on fb,they'r going together attending weddings and he's introducing ppl to his new girlfriend.How could this guy be so heartless?I did everything for this guy and all he does is shows no respect and starts dating her only after a month?It just hurts to know this and it bothers me everyday,every ****ing morning i wake up.Help me out guys to take my mind off of this ungrateful bastard.
hopefulfaerie Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Oh god I know how you feel!! BELIEVE ME! You feel like you got totally screwed out of a wonderful relationship and life. It hurts! I mean it f@@@@@@ HURTS!!! I struggled with the "am I that easy to forget?!?!?!" I wish I had something to make you feel better but I am just as.confused as you are I know the anger is right around the corner for me so I am trying to figure out constuctive ways that I will deal with it. Chopping wood Hitting a punching bag Breaking chunks of concrete with a hammer (safety glasses of course) These things I don't normally do. Ha ha! But hey, I want to come out mentally healthy and I know to do that, I have to deal with the anger in a healthy way It's coming!!! Any second. I can feel it! Best of luck to you! I feel your pain. WE WILL MAKE IT! THEY DON'T DESERVE US ANYWAY! (hugs) 1
JDPT Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 We all feel like we've been wronged at some point during our break up. This is a pretty common emotion you are experiencing. Keep in mind that when he broke up with you he was free and clear to do as he pleased the second he left the relationship. Don't dwell on how he could so quickly turn around and grab the next girl's hand while he leaves you standing there but rather internalize that the relationship is now over and it's time to dust yourself off and move forward. We all do an assortment of "crazy" things for our boyfriend/girlfriend while in a relationship, this comes out of the goodness of our hearts and do not expect reciprocation. And neither should you expect any now that you guys are broken up. Focus on yourself, take the bit of energy you have left and invest it in yourself, in your recovery process and focus on the many objectives you will like to accomplish now that you are a free agent. 2
jesse93 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 You are only hurting yourself, by seeing what he is up too, don't look at his facebook don't look at this pictures he has with his current girlfriend, he left you for another girl.. this means to me that while he was with you, he wasn't trying to settle down, he was willing to talk to someone else and see where it went, this guy seems like he was bad news from the start, you should be happy about it, you don't want to be with a guy who is willing to leave you if some girl makes can make him happy at the time. I've been there before and its a ****ty feeling, I've had girls leave me for other guys all the time, and it hurt like hell. 1
Author crazy1234 Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 yes it does hurt alot,it just keeps coming back..not that i want him back(i never will) and not that i miss him(i stopped loving him the moment he told me he liked some1 else and how miserably i put all the pieces together of him ignoring me)its just that its a contant reminder what he has done..and how he has done it..didnt show any respect towards me.Loved this guy more than anything and this is what he does..eventhough he wanted to get back and said he made a huge mistake and he's sorry bt that was out of pure sympathy which i dont need.He has always been a cheat.Sooner or later he would end up cheating i knew.We'll get through it hopefulfaerie:)soon..someday real soon...
Author crazy1234 Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 You are only hurting yourself, by seeing what he is up too, don't look at his facebook don't look at this pictures he has with his current girlfriend, he left you for another girl.. this means to me that while he was with you, he wasn't trying to settle down, he was willing to talk to someone else and see where it went, this guy seems like he was bad news from the start, you should be happy about it, you don't want to be with a guy who is willing to leave you if some girl makes can make him happy at the time. I've been there before and its a ****ty feeling, I've had girls leave me for other guys all the time, and it hurt like hell. i didnt see it..heard it mistakenly through a friend.Ofcourse i dont have him in my account and ofcourse he's blocked and forever will be.But i intend on avoiding any conversation that includes him in the future.
Author crazy1234 Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 We all feel like we've been wronged at some point during our break up. This is a pretty common emotion you are experiencing. Keep in mind that when he broke up with you he was free and clear to do as he pleased the second he left the relationship. Don't dwell on how he could so quickly turn around and grab the next girl's hand while he leaves you standing there but rather internalize that the relationship is now over and it's time to dust yourself off and move forward. We all do an assortment of "crazy" things for our boyfriend/girlfriend while in a relationship, this comes out of the goodness of our hearts and do not expect reciprocation. And neither should you expect any now that you guys are broken up. Focus on yourself, take the bit of energy you have left and invest it in yourself, in your recovery process and focus on the many objectives you will like to accomplish now that you are a free agent. dear JDPT,he wanted to get back after he told me he likes another girl and that he needs some time to think it through.I said there is no thinking to it anymore and that we are done and i wished him all the best and hung up>the next day he calss me saying sorry and wanted to get back and said i love u..i dont understand how can he tell me he loves me and then date the same girl just within a month??that too letting the world know abt his relationship on fb?the status i always workd for..
Salvatore85 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Yeah it sucks. I was with my ex for 5 years and three weeks after she broke up with me she started dating a friend of mine, someone she met through me. You wonder how the hell they could do that to you? It made me realize that I should be fortunate she became someone else's problem instead of my own. Needless to say he dumped her three weeks later which for some reason another friend of mine chose to tell me. I responded to that friend asking him to never reveal any information about her to me again because it was none of my business. I felt awesome after that because I wasn't clinging to hope or anything, just cared more about my own happiness than being back with someone who didn't have my best interest in mind.
hotpotato Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 What a jerk! Im sorry he did that to you! My ex did something similar...All I can say is karma is a beeyatch. 1
JDPT Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 dear JDPT,he wanted to get back after he told me he likes another girl and that he needs some time to think it through.I said there is no thinking to it anymore and that we are done and i wished him all the best and hung up>the next day he calss me saying sorry and wanted to get back and said i love u..i dont understand how can he tell me he loves me and then date the same girl just within a month??that too letting the world know abt his relationship on fb?the status i always workd for.. I commend you on putting your foot down and setting boundaries. It's never good to be with someone who is confused and does not know what they want in life. As you stated, he likes someone yet loves another, doesn't quiet equate when it comes to relationships. You have a good head on your shoulders and made the right decision by parting ways and prolonging the inevitable. Him dating so prematurely is a clear depiction of his codependency and uncertainty. Let bygones by bygones and move forward with your life never looking back. 1
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Yeah it sucks. I was with my ex for 5 years and three weeks after she broke up with me she started dating a friend of mine, someone she met through me. You wonder how the hell they could do that to you? It made me realize that I should be fortunate she became someone else's problem instead of my own. Needless to say he dumped her three weeks later which for some reason another friend of mine chose to tell me. I responded to that friend asking him to never reveal any information about her to me again because it was none of my business. I felt awesome after that because I wasn't clinging to hope or anything, just cared more about my own happiness than being back with someone who didn't have my best interest in mind. If only i could hear something like that except its already been 6 months they are dating and maybe he'll always tell himself it was worth leaving me..we dated for 2 years broke up for around another 2 years and got back again,only months after he did this even though he was the one wanting to get back.It just sucks that he wont ever realize how much he has hurt me and thet he'll always tell himself it was worth it:(
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 What a jerk! Im sorry he did that to you! My ex did something similar...All I can say is karma is a beeyatch. dear hotpotato, If only karma would get him,If only.Its already been 6 months they'r in a relationship officially according to fb and it just bothers me so much he never did that for his 2-3 year gf(me).I did everything he ever asked for,and i mean everything and this girl comes out of nowhere and she's his official gf??really?i mean i have nothing to say. 1
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I commend you on putting your foot down and setting boundaries. It's never good to be with someone who is confused and does not know what they want in life. As you stated, he likes someone yet loves another, doesn't quiet equate when it comes to relationships. You have a good head on your shoulders and made the right decision by parting ways and prolonging the inevitable. Him dating so prematurely is a clear depiction of his codependency and uncertainty. Let bygones by bygones and move forward with your life never looking back. i dont know how he did that to me.I have never cheated on this guy even though he cheated twice during out relationship b4 we got back this time.Ofcourse even this time he did something similar except much worst.The worst part being he lives on the same road i live in and i saw then only days after he told me abt this girl.I was afraid to go out of my house for days.Even now i dont wanna get out of my house some days cause i'll see him and its only going to make me angrier.He tried to get back with me for a week saying sorry and stuff bt that was jst sympathy.This girl doesnt even live and came for her summer vacation i'm assuming.She went back a little birdie told me.I meant nothing to him all along.Its just sad how i loved this one person so much.I dont have much of a social life.He has always been everything to me.So when this happened,i was devastated.I will move on except i dont think i can date someone anymore.I'm scared to love someone with this much loyalty and honestly. 1
hurts2death Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 i am scared too but we musti dont know how he did that to me.I have never cheated on this guy even though he cheated twice during out relationship b4 we got back this time.Ofcourse even this time he did something similar except much worst.The worst part being he lives on the same road i live in and i saw then only days after he told me abt this girl.I was afraid to go out of my house for days.Even now i dont wanna get out of my house some days cause i'll see him and its only going to make me angrier.He tried to get back with me for a week saying sorry and stuff bt that was jst sympathy.This girl doesnt even live and came for her summer vacation i'm assuming.She went back a little birdie told me.I meant nothing to him all along.Its just sad how i loved this one person so much.I dont have much of a social life.He has always been everything to me.So when this happened,i was devastated.I will move on except i dont think i can date someone anymore.I'm scared to love someone with this much loyalty and honestly.
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 i am scared too but we must I hope i can.The only i wanna focus on is building myself into a much stronger and confident personality.People always target the weak i'v noticed and i wont ever give that power to anyone who can break me or make me.You shouldn't either.
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 i dont know how he did that to me.I have never cheated on this guy even though he cheated twice during out relationship b4 we got back this time.Ofcourse even this time he did something similar except much worst.The worst part being he lives on the same road i live in and i saw then only days after he told me abt this girl.I was afraid to go out of my house for days.Even now i dont wanna get out of my house some days cause i'll see him and its only going to make me angrier.He tried to get back with me for a week saying sorry and stuff bt that was jst sympathy.This girl doesnt even live and came for her summer vacation i'm assuming.She went back a little birdie told me.I meant nothing to him all along.Its just sad how i loved this one person so much.I dont have much of a social life.He has always been everything to me.So when this happened,i was devastated.I will move on except i dont think i can date someone anymore.I'm scared to love someone with this much loyalty and honestly. It appears that you are still looking for atonement. There isn't such concept when it comes to relationships which have ended. There is not breach of contract or anything further to adhere to. Two individuals simply part ways and independently pave their own way with no attachments. I understand you feel as if you've been wronged, however, the last thing you want to do is be stuck in time, running in place. You need to move forward and leave the past where it belongs. Do not be afraid to leave your home. You are free and clear to do as you please and if you do end up bumping into your ex simply look the other way or walk the opposite direction. You do not want to exacerbate or perpetuate your current situation. And you will date in the future, however, you need time to heal. Take this time for yourself and no one else as you are the only person that matters from this point forward. You are a genuine good hearted person and you give yourself fully when in a relationship, we don't become jaded we simply move forward and continue to love with the same passion and desire we are accustomed to.
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 It appears that you are still looking for atonement. There isn't such concept when it comes to relationships which have ended. There is not breach of contract or anything further to adhere to. Two individuals simply part ways and independently pave their own way with no attachments. I understand you feel as if you've been wronged, however, the last thing you want to do is be stuck in time, running in place. You need to move forward and leave the past where it belongs. Do not be afraid to leave your home. You are free and clear to do as you please and if you do end up bumping into your ex simply look the other way or walk the opposite direction. You do not want to exacerbate or perpetuate your current situation. And you will date in the future, however, you need time to heal. Take this time for yourself and no one else as you are the only person that matters from this point forward. You are a genuine good hearted person and you give yourself fully when in a relationship, we don't become jaded we simply move forward and continue to love with the same passion and desire we are accustomed to. I guess i'll just have to accept how things went and move on..thanku jdpt for your time and such clarity.He is a different individual now and so am I.Hopefully things will get better in time.
stillafool Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 The first thing you have to do is stop spying on FB and do not listen to others who want to offer you information about him and his gf. If you can stop talking about him and practice concentrating on other things when he pops into your mind. You have to train yourself to move on. I didn't understand what you meant by you dated him for 2 years and now he has made this other girl his official gf. Were you not his gf when you two were dating? 1
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I guess i'll just have to accept how things went and move on..thanku jdpt for your time and such clarity.He is a different individual now and so am I.Hopefully things will get better in time. People change, feelings change nothing remains stagnant. Take it easy on yourself and be gentle you will gradually start healing and will live again. 2
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 The first thing you have to do is stop spying on FB and do not listen to others who want to offer you information about him and his gf. If you can stop talking about him and practice concentrating on other things when he pops into your mind. You have to train yourself to move on. I didn't understand what you meant by you dated him for 2 years and now he has made this other girl his official gf. Were you not his gf when you two were dating? Here is the thing.We dated for 2 years and then didnt have any contact with him for another around 2 and half years and then we got back again.Only months after we got back again he told me he likes this girl and i broke up with him as was insisting on giving him some time to think.Theres nothing to think anymore.
Author crazy1234 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 People change, feelings change nothing remains stagnant. Take it easy on yourself and be gentle you will gradually start healing and will live again. I will hopefully,soon.I hope bumping into him with this new girlfriend makes me stay okay and calm whenever i get out of my house.
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I will hopefully,soon.I hope bumping into him with this new girlfriend makes me stay okay and calm whenever i get out of my house. Hold yourself at high regards and realize that his actions towards you are utterly disrespectful. You will be ok I promise, take it a day at a time. 1
hopefulfaerie Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Hold yourself at high regards and realize that his actions towards you are utterly disrespectful. You will be ok I promise, take it a day at a time. Is there any way you can avoid places where you may run into him? Even just for a while? I had to do that years ago. The bar with the same friends, parties, even the grocery store. I couldn't even drive by his street. I made it a point to avoid places I may see him with her. After a while I didn't even think about it and never ran into them anyway. Wait, there was one time I just HAPPENED to pull up behind them while they were driving. That truly sucked. Some people here may argue that you shouldn't avoid places but to me it was a relief to not face those horrible triggers daily. I found a new place to hang out. A few new friends (All our friends were mutual so they were her friends now) OUCH!!!! It was lonely and scary at first but it was worth it because the new hang outs and new friends didn't remind me of him. Some people thought I was not facing it by finding new friends and places to hang out but I didn't really care what they thought. I knew I would feel so much worse if I saw them together and didn't see the need to torture myself and constantly "tear the scab off" I needed time to heal and of course I did. They ended up getting married and having a baby (I still heard things from friends, that was unavoidable) Anyway, I thought can this get any worse? The pain was awful. I'm NOT saying that will happen in your case but my point is I thought I was literally going to die of a broken heart. I didn't of course. ha ha! I keep reminding myself that I have been through serious heartbreak that I never thought I would recover from before and I did. I will get through this one too! And so will you!!! ((hugs)) 5
hopefulfaerie Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I will hopefully,soon.I hope bumping into him with this new girlfriend makes me stay okay and calm whenever i get out of my house. OOPS! Meant to put in this quote
JDPT Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 It's been 4 months for me and I intend to avoid places we frequented for a VERY long time, it's utterly detrimental to me. I recall the first time she dumped me I went about the entire thing the wrong way. I used to go to parks we used to hang out at and just sit on a bench and wallow for hours. We also had this "special bench" that has an amazing view of NYC, this place is gorgeous, I used to go there as well and torture myself, but not anymore. I choose to stay away from those horrific places as it will only bring me nothing but grief. 2
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