hopefulfaerie Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Okay,I have never been flat out dumped and tossed like I didn't exist until recently. I have always been the dumper. Now a couple of them were because of cheating and just plain being mistreated so of course I dumped them. This one came completely out of the blue and totally unexpected. Was NOT ready to have things end. I find myself feeling very . . . Ummmmm frisky shall we say, but only for him. Weird!!!! I really want to be kissed, touched etc. But the thought of having sex with another man no matter how good looking, nice, charismatic, whatever, just makes me ill. I only want to "be with" him. The guy that ripped my heart to shreds. Doesn't make sense!!! Is this part of my "fix" I know I will feel these feelings for another man again someday but O really wish it was sooner than later. But like I said, I just can't imagine thst. Anyone else still sexually stuck on their ex, even though youknow it will never happen 2
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Ha, just posted about some really similar here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/412538-healing-7.html#post5193015 Not sure mine is the best or most elegant solution but it's what I'm doing for now
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Meh... I guess I'm lucky in that sex with the ex, although not bad, was not the greatest either. I mean I enjoyed it, but have had way better 2
Author hopefulfaerie Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 Meh... I guess I'm lucky in that sex with the ex, although not bad, was not the greatest either. I mean I enjoyed it, but have had way better I love that answer! So honest. And actually I have better than "him" also. I guess I must really miss the emotional connection that we had. btw, your reply with your signature made me laugh out loud. HAAAA HAAAAA! Love it!!!
todreaminblue Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 yes is was for quite a while......couldnt imagine being with anyone else but....i dont let men get close to me...sex with me has to come with a very strong bond and a load of trust......have to know the guy extremely well when i have deviated and tried to be normal......it has been catastrophic actually.......i attempted to date when we had split.......didnt work....i felt really weird..no guy since my partner has seen me completely naked......i really have to trust someone......my ex was understanding .........and patient...i make a joke about how i had put him in the friend zone for 2 years...the fact is ....i have issues and i had to feel safe.......i see now that joking about friend zone is a touchy subject on love shack ...but i have to be that way..... i understand how you feel faerie, i gave everything i had to my ex and the relationship, i let down most of my walls with my ex, and he was good at the beginning.......so patient with me......when i would freeze up or when i cried he understood why.......to me, its really hard to want to do that again i know how i will be....if i am drunk i dont care till the next day and i used to just have another hair of the dog and go on till the day after that...but i dont drink any more...i have to be with someone i know loves me.....so i was stuck on my ex for a very long time.......didnt think anyone else would take the time to get to know me and love me first before sex....and in a way this is true.......the world is moving so fast....i wannnnna hop off....smilin....... i honestly dotn knwo if i will be with someone again......i did however fall in love again....thats a start...yay for deb...have no idea how it happened or why........but it happened...he has some fo the same qualities my ex had patient kind compassionate but......he actually lives them so i made an improvement on who i fall in love with..... takes time faerie.......thats all i have to say..with me it took years........i hope you find someone who makes you forget about sex with your ex........i did in a way again, more about wanting to get close to a guy.......sex isnt in the equation.....closeness and getting to know someone is necessity for me..........you can too forget.....and i thought it would never happen...it will happen for you faerie i wish you well...hugs.......deb 2
Blastoplast Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 takes time faerie.......thats all i have to say..with me it took years........i hope you find someone who makes you forget about sex with your ex........i did in a way again, more about wanting to get close to a guy.......sex isnt in the equation.....closeness and getting to know someone is necessity for me..........you can too forget.....and i thought it would never happen...it will happen for you faerie i wish you well...hugs.......deb Yeah, I'm the same way. I enjoy sex and ****ing -- but I love the emotional and physical intimacy when it's with somebody you trust, love and admire. But yeah, I feel ya OP. Sometimes I find myself pining for sex with my EX, even when I know she wasn't that great. Actually the best sex we had was after we had broke up, we hooked up one last time. Maybe because she actually decided to try for once 1
NomiMalone Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Hopefulfaerie, I can totally relate! I'm around 2.5 months post break up, 2 months since I last slept with him, and right now, I still can't bring myself to sleep with anyone else. He and I had amazing chemistry, and at this stage, I can't ever imagine being that attracted to anyone else. A few days ago, I did spent a night with a hot stranger. I couldn't bring myself to get that close to him and thankfully he was nice about it. All I could think about was that this guy didn't feel, smell, sound anything like my ex and it made me sad. 2
clementyne Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) Same here! There's someone who has the hots for me, but just the thought of doing anything with him makes me ill. Despite my ex hurting me, I still crave and miss him like that. Sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna want anyone else in that way. For me, it's not so much the physical but the emotional bonding we had. And the familiarity of him. Really miss that. Edited September 7, 2013 by clementyne 3
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Agree completely, and NOTHING for you to be embarrast about- At all! I cannot be with another woman, I have had the opportunity, but just don't want it. (going into year 2 post BU!) The ONLY sensual thoughts I have had since my BU have been of my ex. Short of that, I'm just not interested. As pathetic as that sounds. I have passed up opportunities, which is sad, because I'm sure my ex hasn't. 1
Author hopefulfaerie Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Agree completely, and NOTHING for you to be embarrast about- At all! I cannot be with another woman, I have had the opportunity, but just don't want it. (going into year 2 post BU!) The ONLY sensual thoughts I have had since my BU have been of my ex. Short of that, I'm just not interested. As pathetic as that sounds. I have passed up opportunities, which is sad, because I'm sure my ex hasn't. Doesn't sound pathetic at all!! I REALLY wish I wanted to be intimate with another man! Hopefully soon. Don't even care about "love" at this point. I would just like to feel that attraction whether I act on it or not. Like you said, I'm sure our exes are out there being intimate with others Thanks! Btw!!! 1
Lokie Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Just the other night, I ventured into memories with my last guy and the last time we f**ked. The chemistry with him was off the charts - just thinking about it now is dangerous. :-) But I was hooked in before years ago with another guy by great sex, and ultimately if the trust and communication isn't there, it leads to more pain down the road for me. Oh, how I wish I could have sex with him without emotionally longing for more! But today, I prefer to not willingly walk into more emotional pain by avoiding the great sex hook. I have to have hope that it will happen with another guy who is a better fit for me. 2
NomiMalone Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Doesn't sound pathetic at all!! I REALLY wish I wanted to be intimate with another man! Hopefully soon. Don't even care about "love" at this point. I would just like to feel that attraction whether I act on it or not. Like you said, I'm sure our exes are out there being intimate with others Thanks! Btw!!! You WILL! At a moment when you least expect it, a handsome stranger will sweep you off your feet, and sparks will fly, whether you're ready for it or not. I promise! 1
Author hopefulfaerie Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 You WILL! At a moment when you least expect it, a handsome stranger will sweep you off your feet, and sparks will fly, whether you're ready for it or not. I promise! I actually smiled a big GENUINE smile when I read that. Thanks!!!! 1
hellischrome Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Actually something similar happens to me - when I was with him I would just do it all day and I liked it so much, now I just don't want to be close to someone - the times I did, it's been really weird and in one case I couldn't even go on as I was thinking - I don't know this body - !! Sex with him was probably the best I have ever had and that makes things difficult. BUT I can say that during the last times I could feel some emotional disconnection and it was quite sad. And not great as before. 1
Hoax Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I know exactly what you're going through... It's pretty hard. It's been almost a year for me and I have a couple of guys giving chase and, you know what, I feel a bit interested. Not at all like it was with my ex, of course, but I think it might be nice to dip my toes in the water...
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