elizabeth21 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 We broke up at the end of April because he said he didn't think he was ready for a relationship and he said he thought I deserved more than what he could give me. I'm 18 and he's 17 and we dated over a year. We were each other's first. He kinda blew as a bf but I liked him a lot and stayed with him when I shouldn't have. Everyone told me to end it if I was unhappy with us but I liked him too much. I should have because I got hurt in the end. We had some of the best times of our lives together and I did a lot to keep him happy. I wore the pants in the relationship. We never talked on the phone, did nothing for me for our 1 year, wanted alone time a lot and would be too tired to see/talk to me. He was always busy with his sport and I just couldn't be a priority to him. He's mature, but not mature relationship wise. I wish it could've worked cause he was what I like in a guy. Christian, loyal, and very family loving. Well he kinda turned into a jerk after we broke up and when I tried to be nice after it (saying hi or something) he'd just give a stare. He doesn't talk when he's around me and avoids me. He's either pissed I had a lot of guys to talk to after we broke up (he always said he knew I had guys after me before and during him), feels awkward/bad about the break up, or still cares for me. I highly doubt it's the last one since he moved on so quick. He thought about the break up 2 weeks before it happened so it hit me more. He liked someone right after we broke up but he hasn't dated anyone. He said he won't be ready for a relationship until college but idk what to believe with him. His mom even said he was a bad bf. I now think he's interested in my "friend" and it kinda sucks to see. They sit in church together (he wouldn't even sit with me in church the last half of the relationship cause he was too lazy) and talk all the time and his family kinda replaced me with her. They ignore me now. His dad is the pastor so this girl thinks she's a big shot with him. It sucks to see the motions of them because that was us. Even tho I know I'm better off without him, it still hurts a bit. Especially cause it's this girl who I thought liked him while we dated. She acts like she's awesome. I hope she see gets to see the crappy side of him I saw. It sucks to have someone just be a memory. I can't wait to find an older guy who can take a relationship seriously and wear the pants. Advice? I'm also thinking of taking a break from church since I don't really feel welcomed by his family and I hate seeing that girl with him. I want to visit another one and meet nice college kids my age.
May72 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Heyy, I'm not really in any position to give you advice but I just wanted you to know I'm sort of in the same situation. My ex who I dated for four years was also really mature, which made me like him because a lot of guys my age (22) was not that mature. BUT he wasn't as mature as I'd like him to be in the relationship. I also wore the pants in the relationship; didn't talk on the phone as much as we texted because he's the type that doesn't really know how to hold a phone conversation; and work and friends are prioritize before me ever since a couple months after we started dating. He also fed me the same bs "I don't deserve you, you deserve better" and "I just want to find myself/be independent", just to find out a month later after our breakup that he's pursuing another girl. Like you, many people told me to break up with him several times but I stayed with him because I really loved him. Looking back, I should've let go a long time ago because I was the one who got hurt in the end. Anyways, there's no way you can't be "hurt" by knowing that he likes another girl. You're human. It's normal to feel hurt especially when you truly love that person. Just do as I do and remind yourself that he wasn't perfect and surely this new girl will find out one way or the other eventually.. He's not the one for you because if he was, he wouldn't end things with you in such a cowardly way. If he really loved you he wouldn't leave, instead he'd try harder, but he didn't. Try to keep in mind you're only 18 and you have a whole life ahead of you where you'll meet a bunch new guys. I know it's hard, I go through it too thinking that I won't find anyone else that I'd connect with as much as with my ex, but that's thinking really negatively.
L1ght Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Its impossible to not be hurt by it if you take it so seriously. I will tell you something though. At your age "friends" are always ready to jump in if someone breaks up, at least that's my experience of things from that time. The worst for me was my ex sleeping with my then best friend in the same week we broke up. Nothing you can do about it though. You're still young and I'm guessing theres other options out there for you so just play the field while you're young cos I guarantee you that is exactly what everyone else is doing. Don't take it too seriously and just have fun....the serious stuff comes later on in life.
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