Matt J Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 PLEASE READ EVERYTHING I NEED ADVICE. Here is the short a sweet story of the issue... Me and my girlfriend started to date about a year and a half ago. After about 3 months of dating it was time for me to go to college so we did the long distance thing and it worked through out the whole year. No problems at all. Actually those months while at college were the best and most trusting of our relationship. I saw her every 2 weeks and we were crazy for each other. After the school year ended and the summer came around thats when problems started to emerge. I am still very much in love with her but as the summer went on i could see a change in her, i just didn't want to believe it. About 3 weeks ago she broke up with me. I haven't seen her and i have barley contacted her besides a few times (saying good luck and such). She called me about 5 times in one night a week ago while she was at a party. I finally answered and she seemed really sad and asked me to come get her because she didn't trust anyone there and was scared. I was visiting a buddy at college so i couldn't but we talked for a little bit. Later, a good friend of hers picked her up (a boy) who she talks to a lot which makes me nervous. I feel like the more time i give her the no contact rule the more she is slipping away from me. I don't want to be that boyfriend who is annoying but we haven't talked in about a month. What me and her had was special and she knows that too. I don't know where we went wrong. I was thinking of contacting here via letter, and spilling my heart out and putting my self out there... I mean what do i have to loose.. Here is the letter i am going to leave at her door step with flowers and what not. "These past few weeks have seemed like forever and I have been thinking about things a lot. This is not very easy for me to do but I am taking a big risk and im going to put myself out there and put my heart out there. I am not just doing this to beg you to take me back or feel needy but I am doing this because it feels right and there are some things I have to say and hear so that I can fully get over you. I have been going back in forth whether or not to do this. One side of me is saying “no matt don’t do this, she broke up with you for a reason let her go, let everything go” but then there’s the other side of me saying “you need to talk to her, you’ve been through too much together, sacrificed to much just to let her walk out of your life so easy” and after thinking a whole lot and having this empty feeling in my stomach the answer to me was simple, you are to much apart of my life just to see you walk away. “Fight for what you love”. I don’t want you to be gone and I be left with “what if questions” and don’t want to be too little to late, so this is why I am writing you this now and not later. I don’t want to be left with regret that I didn’t try and that you were the one to slip away. What you and me had was the most real thing I have experienced and I know these past few months have been hard and things haven’t been right between us but to me that is was builds and makes a relationship strong. You see each other at the highs and lows, you experience confusing emotions but you see how much that person means to them in the end despite the difficulties. Right now is one of those low points but I see that this lack of communication is ruining the relationship we have with each other. It doesn’t seem right at all just to try to ignore the feelings I have and the feelings I know you might still have and might think about. I completely understand we need time for our selves right now and enjoy separate lives but I cannot just let you walk away. I don’t feel like we should give up so easily. I know this hasn’t been easy on you either but I know what we had can be again and I just need a chance. Look at how much we sacrificed, you mean too much to me. I want to see you have fun, I want you to enjoy this year and what it has in store but I don’t want you to see a relationship from stopping you from having fun. I just hope you understand stand where I am coming from and I don’t simply just want to seem like I want a relationship right away, right now because timing is everything. I want it to feel right for you. I think we need to start from square one. Give each other space/time and ease in to everything but not cut off from each other. I know we have tried this whole thing before but we jumped in to it too soon, didn’t know how to handle things and I don’t want to do it like that again. Remember when you called me saying how what you were doing might sound crazy and that you didn’t know If you should say it?... but you did anyways because it felt right. That is exactly what I’m feeling. I feel crazy doing this but what do I have to loose. The main reason to this is letter is to take a chance, think about it…give love another chance. It may take time and that’s okay but you’ll never know unless you try. We live and we learn. Maybe the 3rd time is the charm. Everything happens for a reason. I love you and I always will be there for you, no matter what." -If this means something to you, I will be waiting for you at (Place) to talk at (Time) … Would a girl like this? Do i sound dumb? I really need advice on this!!!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 PLEASE READ EVERYTHING I NEED ADVICE. Here is the short a sweet story of the issue... Me and my girlfriend started to date about a year and a half ago. After about 3 months of dating it was time for me to go to college so we did the long distance thing and it worked through out the whole year. No problems at all. Actually those months while at college were the best and most trusting of our relationship. I saw her every 2 weeks and we were crazy for each other. After the school year ended and the summer came around thats when problems started to emerge. I am still very much in love with her but as the summer went on i could see a change in her, i just didn't want to believe it. About 3 weeks ago she broke up with me. I haven't seen her and i have barley contacted her besides a few times (saying good luck and such). She called me about 5 times in one night a week ago while she was at a party. I finally answered and she seemed really sad and asked me to come get her because she didn't trust anyone there and was scared. I was visiting a buddy at college so i couldn't but we talked for a little bit. Later, a good friend of hers picked her up (a boy) who she talks to a lot which makes me nervous. I feel like the more time i give her the no contact rule the more she is slipping away from me. I don't want to be that boyfriend who is annoying but we haven't talked in about a month. What me and her had was special and she knows that too. I don't know where we went wrong. I was thinking of contacting here via letter, and spilling my heart out and putting my self out there... I mean what do i have to loose.. Here is the letter i am going to leave at her door step with flowers and what not. "These past few weeks have seemed like forever and I have been thinking about things a lot. This is not very easy for me to do but I am taking a big risk and im going to put myself out there and put my heart out there. I am not just doing this to beg you to take me back or feel needy but I am doing this because it feels right and there are some things I have to say and hear so that I can fully get over you. I have been going back in forth whether or not to do this. One side of me is saying “no matt don’t do this, she broke up with you for a reason let her go, let everything go” but then there’s the other side of me saying “you need to talk to her, you’ve been through too much together, sacrificed to much just to let her walk out of your life so easy” and after thinking a whole lot and having this empty feeling in my stomach the answer to me was simple, you are to much apart of my life just to see you walk away. “Fight for what you love”. I don’t want you to be gone and I be left with “what if questions” and don’t want to be too little to late, so this is why I am writing you this now and not later. I don’t want to be left with regret that I didn’t try and that you were the one to slip away. What you and me had was the most real thing I have experienced and I know these past few months have been hard and things haven’t been right between us but to me that is was builds and makes a relationship strong. You see each other at the highs and lows, you experience confusing emotions but you see how much that person means to them in the end despite the difficulties. Right now is one of those low points but I see that this lack of communication is ruining the relationship we have with each other. It doesn’t seem right at all just to try to ignore the feelings I have and the feelings I know you might still have and might think about. I completely understand we need time for our selves right now and enjoy separate lives but I cannot just let you walk away. I don’t feel like we should give up so easily. I know this hasn’t been easy on you either but I know what we had can be again and I just need a chance. Look at how much we sacrificed, you mean too much to me. I want to see you have fun, I want you to enjoy this year and what it has in store but I don’t want you to see a relationship from stopping you from having fun. I just hope you understand stand where I am coming from and I don’t simply just want to seem like I want a relationship right away, right now because timing is everything. I want it to feel right for you. I think we need to start from square one. Give each other space/time and ease in to everything but not cut off from each other. I know we have tried this whole thing before but we jumped in to it too soon, didn’t know how to handle things and I don’t want to do it like that again. Remember when you called me saying how what you were doing might sound crazy and that you didn’t know If you should say it?... but you did anyways because it felt right. That is exactly what I’m feeling. I feel crazy doing this but what do I have to loose. The main reason to this is letter is to take a chance, think about it…give love another chance. It may take time and that’s okay but you’ll never know unless you try. We live and we learn. Maybe the 3rd time is the charm. Everything happens for a reason. I love you and I always will be there for you, no matter what." -If this means something to you, I will be waiting for you at (Place) to talk at (Time) … Would a girl like this? Do i sound dumb? I really need advice on this!!! You do NOT do this. I repeat: DO NOT DO THIS!!!!! If you do this, you will regret it 100 percent. Look man, she broke up with you. This was her choice and I know she thought about doing it for quite a while. Let her make that decision. This letter is only going to make you look awful. Sadly, life isnt the Notebook. Whatever you do, do NOT do what you are thinking of doing. 2
todreaminblue Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) hey matt.....from a woman JUST DO IT...i recently found at that saying was actually from a guy on death row about to be executed who said "lets do it" when they came to get him for execution...famous last words....... NIKE changed it to tah dah ....JUST DO IT....... the point of me saying this is.... you only get to live as a human and experience passion and love.........just once.....so just do it......you arent going to face an execution if you do...thats what i did think when i took a kamikaze roll into the desert...i wont die if i tell him...and i did...ahem didnt work out but hey..i did it do what is in your heart.......dont listen to anyone else....if you fail you fail spectacularly kamikaze style shot down in flames...but you had the guts and fortitude to stand up for what you want..that takes courage to sya what you feel....trus tme i know i stuttered all the way the deb stutter rap...lol.....like your gf did to start with...but hers wasn't failure was it...take the chance.....life and love might not give you another.......it could end tomorrow for you or her.... JUST DO IT now i took a chance and it didnt happen......i am still living matt as you will too...take it....and i hope it works for you....crossing fingers toes and elbows with knees.....twister deb....;0)..lol....best wishes.....deb Edited September 6, 2013 by todreaminblue
tart6245 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Yeah, these letters literally never work. I mean, if you can take the heartbreak of her rejecting it, go right ahead so you won't have any regrets, but the chances this works are almost zero. When we break up we all tend to think chasing the girl like in movies will automatically bring love back to us, but that simply is not the case and hardly ever happens. Unfortunately, the girl tends to hold more power post-break up and will use you if you let her, but you will still get your heart broken in the end. Don't let her do that to you.
treebag Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 I'm in the same boat man, but I know deep down it will only make things worse. Don't do it. Move on. I know it's easier said than done, but they won't come back unless they want to.
melell Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 You will regret sending this. Keep it, send it in 6 months time. lol. The response you get won't really phase you then.
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