ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) Brother, many posters here on Loveshack can only see things in black and white - they've experienced personal trauma that has in some cases never left them. For that reason I would take all advice with a pinch of salt (I expect you to apply the same thinking to my posts). Although all of us here at Loveshack have endured a similar experience to the one you're currently having - in reality our stories are very, very different - (the girl, the boy, the friends, the memories and so on and on). For that reason you need to forge your own path and do what is right for you - that's not to say you can't seek guidance and wisdom from others. Personally, I don't think you'll go far wrong if you follow your heart in the next few days - do what you need to do. If that means crying on her doorstep - then so be it. (Although I would try to avoid this if at all possible!). There is a caveat to my advice of following your heart though - at some point in the not too distant future (a week's time?) you need to go 'no contact' with your ex girlfriend. This will of course be incredibly difficult for you but if you want to heal, to grow, to become stronger than you must, MUST end all contact. If you do decide to take this course of action - I would speak to your ex girlfriend about the n/c plan, the reasons why you're doing it and that at some indefinite point in time - maybe, the two of you can re-establish a connection and become friends. I would strongly advise that you keep n/c until you've completely overcome this emotional challenge. A good gauge of your recovery is if you can imagine your ex being with another and not only it not causing you any inner turmoil but the thought of her being happy with another makes you happy. Long term - some people can grow soooo much from the experience of losing a loved one - whilst others never get to that point and are left only with poison and bitterness. It is up to you which path you choose . . . Peace and love . . . Funny how you seem to know so much about every poster here. This situation is very different from mine, but yet I've seen this story played out 1000000 times. EVERY story says its different and EVERY story is so "unique" and the feelings are "different" than everyone else. Guess what maverick? A total of about 80-90% of the outcomes are the exact same. It follows the same exact pattern: 1.Dumped 2. Dont know what to do 3. She said A-B.C-D to me so he/she still cares 4. I should go no contact BUT maybe sending a letter or e-mail or text will do 5. He/she didnt respond well to it oh no what do I do now? 6. Im going to keep contacting-my ex is being cold to me 7. I just checked (insert social media site) and my ex said __________. What does it mean?? Is it about me?? 8. I shouldnt have done A-B-C-D. Wow, that was stupid. 9. etc etc etc. Again, rough shot estimate, but that is the long and short of it. Each of those steps usually comes with a new thread and answers in that rotation. Like you say, its not ALL black and white, but the large majority of it is. Its basic numbers, which I'll take any day. Edited September 6, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1
Misfortune Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Wrong! That bold part is 100 wrong. You might want to be in her life, but she is not really choosing to be in yours hence the breakup to begin with. She is saying all this stuff right now because she feels guilty. A large 99% of what she is saying right now is because she feels bad and doesnt really know how to deal without you currently...but she wants to do that. That is why she left. My ex said everything from "you are the one I know it" "Im coming back I promise I need more time" and "You are my everything" and 800 things under the sun as do many of the people on here have that same story. The common theme in all of them is that the ex isnt there with them in the end. It blows. You know whats funny?? I went some no contact, and my ex had the nerve to text "you seem to be doing so much better without me. Will you still want to be with me when I'm done with whatever I'm going through?" SHE BROKE UP WITH ME AND SAID THAT TO ME?! Whats funny is the fact she was seeing someone while texting me that and using me as a backup plan. Dont be the backup plan......she wanted this, give it to her. Here is the bad part...ready? Its going to suck....she has moved on in her head. She is past this relationship up in her head and is lightyears getting over it than you are. The bad part about a breakup that seems 'sudden' is the other person has planned this in their head for a while now, contrary to what they say. She is still talking to you like nothing is wrong because she is easing the guilt. She knows how hard this is for you and knows she crushed you. She will be in your life for the smallest amount and when you get too emotional, she will flip that switch and get angry at you. Anger you probably have never seen in her before. Why? Because she WANTS to move on...contrary to what you want. All of it sucks man. Heartbreak is awful....that is why this site exist. But what you HAVE to do: Well first eat lol. I lost like 20 pounds during mine and I wasnt anywhere near fat to begin with. Next, just take it day by day. Whatever you do....DO NOT CONTACT HER! I swear to you man, you have to listen to us. We have ALL been through this before we know what we are talking about. I got all of this from my ex. She was gone, already shifted her thoughts and emotions over to the next person. The one thing she hasn't done, is apologize. Apologies, real apologies-not the fake sorries they give you because they got caught-never seem to come until they're new relationship is going bad. I also got the "you don't want me to spend the rest of my life wondering, do you?". Selfish to the core. It seems like a lot of people just put on a different persona depending on who they're with. You could have been with someone for years and never know their true self. 1
hurts2death Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 your posts ..... just respectI got all of this from my ex. She was gone, already shifted her thoughts and emotions over to the next person. The one thing she hasn't done, is apologize. Apologies, real apologies-not the fake sorries they give you because they got caught-never seem to come until they're new relationship is going bad. I also got the "you don't want me to spend the rest of my life wondering, do you?". Selfish to the core. It seems like a lot of people just put on a different persona depending on who they're with. You could have been with someone for years and never know their true self.
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 i spoke to her mum last night over facebook (her mum never tells her what we talk about). This is not something new, we always spoke. but she said her daughter was crying on the phone to her about hurting me. I havent tried to contact my beautful ex since 9:30 last night so does that count as 11 hours Nc... i hope so i just have an issue with what u guys post and i know u know what you are talking about but if we were friends before we got together, i know what she said about wanting to be friends is true. Believe it or not i broke up with her a few weeks into the relationship and when i said i wanted to be friends i meant it and didnt want to lose her in my life just because of this. so are you saying i can only be friends with her when i am completely over her? or i cant be friends with her full stop..
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 i spoke to her mum last night over facebook (her mum never tells her what we talk about). This is not something new, we always spoke. but she said her daughter was crying on the phone to her about hurting me. I havent tried to contact my beautful ex since 9:30 last night so does that count as 11 hours Nc... i hope so i just have an issue with what u guys post and i know u know what you are talking about but if we were friends before we got together, i know what she said about wanting to be friends is true. Believe it or not i broke up with her a few weeks into the relationship and when i said i wanted to be friends i meant it and didnt want to lose her in my life just because of this. so are you saying i can only be friends with her when i am completely over her? or i cant be friends with her full stop.. First, don't talk to her mom about this. Not a wise move at ALL. Yes, it was normal before, but this is a whole new game. FORGET EVERYTHING that was acceptable in the past because it no longer applies. Of course she feels bad, but it doesn't mean anything. Which brings me to your quesion: When an ex breaks up with you, a VERY common line thrown out is "we can still be friends." That makes the hair on my arms raise up...ugh...Can you be friends with an ex? Sure, but WAY down the line when there is nothing there. Its VERY clear you still have strong feelings for her, and being placed in the friendzone keeps you from healing at all. Do you want to be the guy she tell her sex stories to? The friend she goes to about how her new date went? About how horny she gets when she is out on the town? ? Of course you don't so WHY in the world would you want to be friends? My guess is because you think that will lead to her giving you another chance later. That is the FARTHEST from the truth ever. You are lightyears away from being "just friends"
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 So as i previously stated I live in another state of australia to her and I leave tomorrow and seeing as i leave tomorrow it is safe to say it will be a lot easier to have NC with her as u have been telling me to do. She just texted me saying we can meet up for coffee before i go if i like and i responded "seeing you would make me so happy but all i would do is try convince you to stay with me and i dont think you would like that very much" she responded "up to you the offer is there" Do you think it would be appropriate for me to have a last goodbye before i leave the state for the rest of the year? do you think because the last time she saw me i was crying my eyes out she wants to see me not crying (and because we would be in a public place i wouldn't cry) to make herself feel better before i leave?
Simon Phoenix Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 So as i previously stated I live in another state of australia to her and I leave tomorrow and seeing as i leave tomorrow it is safe to say it will be a lot easier to have NC with her as u have been telling me to do. She just texted me saying we can meet up for coffee before i go if i like and i responded "seeing you would make me so happy but all i would do is try convince you to stay with me and i dont think you would like that very much" she responded "up to you the offer is there" Do you think it would be appropriate for me to have a last goodbye before i leave the state for the rest of the year? do you think because the last time she saw me i was crying my eyes out she wants to see me not crying (and because we would be in a public place i wouldn't cry) to make herself feel better before i leave? I mean, if you like stabbing yourself with knives, then yes, meeting her for coffee is a great idea. But otherwise, it's a bad one. You are still emotionally vulnerable and it's just going to be painful for you. You have to stop interacting with her, you just do. You aren't doing yourself any favors by responding. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I mean, if you like stabbing yourself with knives, then yes, meeting her for coffee is a great idea. But otherwise, it's a bad one. You are still emotionally vulnerable and it's just going to be painful for you. You have to stop interacting with her, you just do. You aren't doing yourself any favors by responding. What a crappy thing by her to do btw. "We can meet up if you like." What a scum move. ALL that says is "I know I did you crappy so I'm going to try and keep good karma by ALLOWING you to see me. " What a move. Not seeing her is what you need to do. Now, go full no contact. No social media, no text, no anything. TRUST US its so much better that way.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 What a crappy thing by her to do btw. "We can meet up if you like." What a scum move. ALL that says is "I know I did you crappy so I'm going to try and keep good karma by ALLOWING you to see me. " What a move. Not seeing her is what you need to do. Now, go full no contact. No social media, no text, no anything. TRUST US its so much better that way. Yep, she's putting a sucker bet out on the table right now.
BrownBear Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Jeeze - the responses in here! You would think you had been dating Hitler himself. Man, go and see her. It might be the last chance you ever do get to see her. Celebrate the relationship you HAD. Say your goodbyes. And remember to explain to her that you'll be going n/c until you've healed. ** To the other posters ** Falling out of love with someone doesn't automatically make you a bad person and mean that all your future intentions are to cause harm to the ex partner.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Jeeze - the responses in here! You would think you had been dating Hitler himself. Man, go and see her. It might be the last chance you ever do get to see her. Celebrate the relationship you HAD. Say your goodbyes. And remember to explain to her that you'll be going n/c until you've healed. ** To the other posters ** Falling out of love with someone doesn't automatically make you a bad person and mean that all your future intentions are to cause harm to the ex partner. What the hell are you talking about?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) Jeeze - the responses in here! You would think you had been dating Hitler himself. Man, go and see her. It might be the last chance you ever do get to see her. Celebrate the relationship you HAD. Say your goodbyes. And remember to explain to her that you'll be going n/c until you've healed. ** To the other posters ** Falling out of love with someone doesn't automatically make you a bad person and mean that all your future intentions are to cause harm to the ex partner. Get out of here with this. You did this yesterday too. NEVER did I saw the ex was a bad person. Knock that off. I said what she did was a crap move. Everyone here sees that and have seen the same story for MONTHS and YEARS on here. For someone who has been a member of here for so long, YOU should know that. You write two comments after not for almost three years and both comments suggest that we (the people helping) have no clue what we are talking about, though we have been here for a bit (many more other longer than me). I've seen it 1,000 times, I've helped many people with the same situations, I've seen THOUSANDS of people helped from people like Simon, Chi, Tara, Cav, etc etc etc etc. They (and I) know what were talking about. Leave it at that. Edited September 7, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1
hurts2death Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) to fall out of love is normal but to need to cover your need of " in love" again while dumping the man you love and became a companionship best friend best of all is super bad. is betrayal..... humans aint disposable.... thats true,,, this disposable way of life that you pick whom ever want and dumping a love partner of lets say 5 years is total s hit... hitler would have been better,,,, and to explain it easier... everybody fall out of love eventually. everybody but after the passion comes the love and then you show up your true character,,, my ex is a selfish b itch that even though she liked a lot having sex with me and spending time and all (i just want to say that the scenario of not being physically attractive does not come into play for me) she dumped me for gigs for her own selfish happiness,,,,.... such immature .such iresponsible... i mean even if she falls again for someone she will dump him when theres no more aspects of him to discover,,,,, such a bad character i cant believe it anymore.. and you here claim its not bad to fall out of lov... lol do you talk about a week relationship? we talk about years and years and years of companionship.. we talk about bonds we talk about surviving lifes difficulties together and helping each other accomplish dreams. we talk about setting aside our own selfs and giving love to the human we trusted for our family to come.. we talk about our wifes in a way,,,,.. its a total different story. it is for grown ups responsible people..... Jeeze - the responses in here! You would think you had been dating Hitler himself. Man, go and see her. It might be the last chance you ever do get to see her. Celebrate the relationship you HAD. Say your goodbyes. And remember to explain to her that you'll be going n/c until you've healed. ** To the other posters ** Falling out of love with someone doesn't automatically make you a bad person and mean that all your future intentions are to cause harm to the ex partner. Edited September 7, 2013 by hurts2death 1
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I know with what i am about to say u will wonder why u even bother try helping me like you have, but i assure you you have helped me a lot by letting me express my emotion and have kind people like yourself be there to let me know my feelings have been heard and empathised with. I brownbear's advice and after a nap i called and we met at bondi beach. I took her to a park and we sat on the grass and played our favourite board game called backgammon. we played 2 games before we left because it got a bit cold. i dropped her home and gave her her house keys back and we sat in the car for a while and talked. I could tell she got a little offended when i asked if she said things like she still wanted to be friends and she loves me more than her own father and brother. She genuinly still wants me in her life and wants to be as close. However, i also took your guys advice and i told her that when i leave back to queensland I think it is best if we dont talk for a while till i am over it (she said "if that is what you want"). I said that and i followed it by saying I loved being friends with you before we fell in love and I still want to be friends after and she emphasised that she would also like that (after the period of time to get over her of course). yesterday i told her its best that we don't speak for a while and even tho i called her twice that night and texted her she didnt respond. She said she was respecting what i had asked her to do. Seeing her today and clearing some things up like this made me feel better. It made me feel good i didnt have to go cold on her and erase that time in my life. That we can be civil and still enjoy being close friends with each other after we have given each other enough time to be completely over it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I know with what i am about to say u will wonder why u even bother try helping me like you have, but i assure you you have helped me a lot by letting me express my emotion and have kind people like yourself be there to let me know my feelings have been heard and empathised with. I brownbear's advice and after a nap i called and we met at bondi beach. I took her to a park and we sat on the grass and played our favourite board game called backgammon. we played 2 games before we left because it got a bit cold. i dropped her home and gave her her house keys back and we sat in the car for a while and talked. I could tell she got a little offended when i asked if she said things like she still wanted to be friends and she loves me more than her own father and brother. She genuinly still wants me in her life and wants to be as close. However, i also took your guys advice and i told her that when i leave back to queensland I think it is best if we dont talk for a while till i am over it (she said "if that is what you want"). I said that and i followed it by saying I loved being friends with you before we fell in love and I still want to be friends after and she emphasised that she would also like that (after the period of time to get over her of course). yesterday i told her its best that we don't speak for a while and even tho i called her twice that night and texted her she didnt respond. She said she was respecting what i had asked her to do. Seeing her today and clearing some things up like this made me feel better. It made me feel good i didnt have to go cold on her and erase that time in my life. That we can be civil and still enjoy being close friends with each other after we have given each other enough time to be completely over it. You are way past repair. Enjoy the next several months of heartache.
LostOne1 Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 I got all of this from my ex. She was gone, already shifted her thoughts and emotions over to the next person. The one thing she hasn't done, is apologize. Apologies, real apologies-not the fake sorries they give you because they got caught-never seem to come until they're new relationship is going bad. I also got the "you don't want me to spend the rest of my life wondering, do you?". Selfish to the core. It seems like a lot of people just put on a different persona depending on who they're with. You could have been with someone for years and never know their true self. Actually some don't even come back even if their new relationship fails.. because then they have to admit they lost out. Some people have a very high pride/ego level and they will never admit they were wrong or defeat EVEN when they get defeated. That's my ex for yeah... One reason I did hate a quality in her was her high ego. Where as me I am the total opposite I respect everyone. For her she thinks she's better than everyone else. Which is one reason we fought too. Which is why my next partner must have the same respect level for everyone out there. Only then will we get along well. 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 (edited) I know with what i am about to say u will wonder why u even bother try helping me like you have, but i assure you you have helped me a lot by letting me express my emotion and have kind people like yourself be there to let me know my feelings have been heard and empathised with. I brownbear's advice and after a nap i called and we met at bondi beach. I took her to a park and we sat on the grass and played our favourite board game called backgammon. we played 2 games before we left because it got a bit cold. i dropped her home and gave her her house keys back and we sat in the car for a while and talked. I could tell she got a little offended when i asked if she said things like she still wanted to be friends and she loves me more than her own father and brother. She genuinly still wants me in her life and wants to be as close. However, i also took your guys advice and i told her that when i leave back to queensland I think it is best if we dont talk for a while till i am over it (she said "if that is what you want"). I said that and i followed it by saying I loved being friends with you before we fell in love and I still want to be friends after and she emphasised that she would also like that (after the period of time to get over her of course). yesterday i told her its best that we don't speak for a while and even tho i called her twice that night and texted her she didnt respond. She said she was respecting what i had asked her to do. Seeing her today and clearing some things up like this made me feel better. It made me feel good i didnt have to go cold on her and erase that time in my life. That we can be civil and still enjoy being close friends with each other after we have given each other enough time to be completely over it. You know what??? I'm not done. I'm generally cheesed off by this. You had two pages of people telling you the best thing to do because we've all seen what happens in this situation. So you decide to read and comment on everything and still do the exact opposite. Can't say I havent done the same thing (as have many other) but to say "Oh you guys have helped me so much....and THEN I DID EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU GUYS RECOMMENDED" So later on, there is going to be a thread about her not responding to a text or something she said on facebook lol. Tell me this: What are you wanting? Are you wanting to be the close "friend" that she tells all her secrets with or be her boyfriend? You played into EXACTLY what she wanted. She is now guilt free and now free to just screw and do whatever she wants while in the midterm, YOU get to hear about it! Thats awesome! It should be awesome for you to get a text asking what she should do about this guy that keeps hitting on her at a bar. That should be a fun text to get while your heart races because you STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER while you tell her "I dont know." She then goes home with the guy and you get to hear all of the details. That should be amazing. Let me know how that goes? I'm sure it will be an amazing time while you sit in your room and wonder how this could have been prevented. "even tho i called her twice that night and texted her she didnt respond. She said she was respecting what i had asked her to do." DOES THIS NOT THROW OFF HUGE WARNING FLAGS TO YOU?!?!?! " I could tell she got a little offended when i asked if she said things like she still wanted to be friends and she loves me more than her own father and brother. She genuinly still wants me in her life and wants to be as close." Again, the door is completely closed on anything you thought might or might not happen because of tonight. I'm glad you feel you got some closure, because that is what you'll be sleeping with for a bit. Edited September 7, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing
BrownBear Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 ConfusedHumanBeing - I think you might have misread the guys post. He clearly states he is planning to go n/c with his ex - is that not what you wanted?
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) I am not meaning to be rude i promise, i only appreciate you replying to me and offering to help me out no matter what your advice. I sincerely mean that. But i feel maybe some peoples advice may be tainted from bad experiences that have happened to them? My girlfriend is not a bad person and the way people seem to go about this is to not give them any more pleasure/comfort than what the dumpee is going through by completely shutting them out. I don't want my girlfriend to feel guilty for what she did, i don't want her to be as unhappy as I am or for as long. Yes, i want her back but if she wants me she will realise it and if not then so be it. I want her to get through this as best as possible for her and if it helps me to see her and to talk for a bit and sort through a few things that ultimately may make her feel a bit better too (there is no evidence of that I'm just going by what you say) then it should be a good thing that we both feel a little better. We are both in pain because of this, probably me more than her, but just because she unintentionally fell out of love does not mean I have to not give her an inch of anything that may even the slightest help her through her recovery process. No matter how much or how little she has to recover from whatever hurt she is feeling. We will go NC when i leave in a few days until i am over her and resume being friends. As you guys have said all along it will only work if i go NC till i am over her and i intend on taking your advice and doing that. But until i leave which is only a few days away, I intend on having one last catch up with her to give her a hug, a high-five and say thanks for giving me a great year of my life. talking to you guys has really helped with the pain of losing her i just want you to know that. That was your primary goal despite how much or how little or how delayed it was until i took your advice. You are really helping me through my first breakup and i could not be more thankful to all of you Edited September 8, 2013 by Chatmonkey
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 I am not meaning to be rude i promise, i only appreciate you replying to me and offering to help me out no matter what your advice. I sincerely mean that. But i feel maybe some peoples advice may be tainted from bad experiences that have happened to them? My girlfriend is not a bad person and the way people seem to go about this is to not give them any more pleasure/comfort than what the dumpee is going through by completely shutting them out. I don't want my girlfriend to feel guilty for what she did, i don't want her to be as unhappy as I am or for as long. Yes, i want her back but if she wants me she will realise it and if not then so be it. I want her to get through this as best as possible for her and if it helps me to see her and to talk for a bit and sort through a few things that ultimately may make her feel a bit better too (there is no evidence of that I'm just going by what you say) then it should be a good thing that we both feel a little better. We are both in pain because of this, probably me more than her, but just because she unintentionally fell out of love does not mean I have to not give her an inch of anything that may even the slightest help her through her recovery process. No matter how much or how little she has to recover from whatever hurt she is feeling. We will go NC when i leave in a few days until i am over her and resume being friends. As you guys have said all along it will only work if i go NC till i am over her and i intend on taking your advice and doing that. But until i leave which is only a few days away, I intend on having one last catch up with her to give her a hug, a high-five and say thanks for giving me a great year of my life. I'm not telling you this because I experienced it there hoss. In fact, this story is different from mine. I'm telling you this because this story is SO similar to EVERYONES story here. I dont know who you are trying to convince that you are just cool with her dating others and telling you about it. Answer my question I asked earlier: Do you want to be the friend she tells everything to (IE new boyfriend, sex life, etc) or do you want to be the one who actually moves on? I can almost promise you that you will create a thread here soon about hearing about her having a new love interest and what not. Why come on here and ask advice if you do the exact opposite then try to tell us what its like? I diary would suit you better in that situation. Do what you want, because its clear thousand of people who had this have seen this situation dont know what were talking about and you know exactly how it is.
BrownBear Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 ConfusedHumanBeing - You're not listening to what is being said - Chatmonkey has explicitly stated that he is going n/c with his ex until he has healed. Also, why are you so convinced that his ex girlfriend is going to be keen on telling him about her future sexual conquests?! Who in their right mind does that?! Chatmonkey - Goodluck on your journey - There will be many difficult days/nights ahead of you but if you tackle this experience in the right way there is so much you can gain from it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 ConfusedHumanBeing - You're not listening to what is being said - Chatmonkey has explicitly stated that he is going n/c with his ex until he has healed. Also, why are you so convinced that his ex girlfriend is going to be keen on telling him about her future sexual conquests?! Who in their right mind does that?! Chatmonkey - Goodluck on your journey - There will be many difficult days/nights ahead of you but if you tackle this experience in the right way there is so much you can gain from it. Thank you interpreter!!! I was so lost without your wisdom!!!!! Oh my god THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
Viro12 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Hey man, I know we're being pushy here. The thing is your ex made the decision to lose you. If you ever want to get her back, there's only one thing you can do, make her realize the consequences of losing you. Imagine this, how important are you really to her? Are you the only one she can share her feelings to? Truth is you're ****, because she just chose to throw you into the trash can. She feels your not worthy to have her in her life, she deserves better Being a secret friend will only push her away from you more, and it will lead you to a world of pain and suffering when she starts dating someone else. You will get angry, and she'll hate you for your jealousy then she'll be forced to cut all communications with you. Do you only want to have her for this short moment so that she can ditch you out of her life completely? Have some faith in her and yourself that you'll both have the strength to carry this through. Good luck buddy! 1
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Hey man, I know we're being pushy here. The thing is your ex made the decision to lose you. If you ever want to get her back, there's only one thing you can do, make her realize the consequences of losing you. Imagine this, how important are you really to her? Are you the only one she can share her feelings to? Truth is you're ****, because she just chose to throw you into the trash can. She feels your not worthy to have her in her life, she deserves better Being a secret friend will only push her away from you more, and it will lead you to a world of pain and suffering when she starts dating someone else. You will get angry, and she'll hate you for your jealousy then she'll be forced to cut all communications with you. Do you only want to have her for this short moment so that she can ditch you out of her life completely? Have some faith in her and yourself that you'll both have the strength to carry this through. Good luck buddy! You explained and said it in a much better way the confusedhumanbeing. So thank you for that. but i am only here for a few more days. its not like im meeting up with her and texting everytime in-between. im just going to meet up once to say goodbye and then it is NC for however long it takes me to get completely over her Is this really the difference between feeling a world of hurt when she dates someone else and not feeling the pain (or less pain)?
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