Snarks025 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Sorry in advance for the long post: So, just to give some back story I dated a girl for about a year and she broke up with me 2 years ago. When we dated I was 26 and she was 27. She was my first true love, and amazingly enough she loved me even more. Things were fantastic the first 6 months of our relationship, but then I lost my job as a pilot and couldnt find work in the local area. I was also living with my brother at the time but he decided to rent his entire house out to a couple which forced me to move back in with my mom. So, there I was unemployed and living with my mom and for whatever reason I wasnt motivated to make any changes in my life. She put up with this for another 6 months, and constantly talked about getting married and having kids. I wasnt quite thinking like that at the time, so I would usually change the subject when she brought that stuff up. Finally, she gave me an ultimatum that I needed to find a job. So, I went out and got a job at a car dealership which I hated. After about a month of that Labor Day weekend came and she went to the lake with her family (I had to work). I randomly got a text message from her Labor Day night, saying that she wanted to break up and not to call her. A week or two later she finally agreed to let me come over to talk, she basically said that her family confronted her when they were at the lake and told her she needed to move on from me and find someone more financially stable. Her parents also thought that I was taking advantage of her as I spent almost every night at her house but never contributed to her bills (I honestly never thought about it as we never had a conversation about living together). After this we exchanged a few more emails (and I sent one nasty one which I regret), but we havent communicated in about 1.5 years. I used that as a wakeup call and changed just about everything in my life. I moved across the country and have an amazing job as a pilot, got my masters degree, become a marathoner, and I have even been in another 8 month relationship (and dated a few others). But, no matter what I do I cannot get her out of my head. I literally think about her all the time and I am still hurt with the way things ended. I guess I want to believe that despite everything she still loves me. I really want to send her a email telling her everything that I have accomplished and that I still want to be with her. But, deep down I think I know she has moved on and I just can't do the same. Any advice on how to move on myself or at least suppress the urge to send her a message? Thanks!
Misfortune Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I would break it. I understand where her parents reasoning. I wouldn't start it off with telling her all about me as if I'm trying to sell myself: "I'm better, I have stuff and now we can be together". I would start off with just a greeting and go from there depending on her response. 1
PR08 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Completely agree with misfortune, and congratulations with turning your life around. Seriously well done!
joe86 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Ask her if she would be interested in catching up. Maybe say where you are & you love to catch up, but don't give much away and keep your fingers crossed! 1
HappyLove Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I agree, just call or email saying you want to catch up. She's had a long time to get over what made her so upset and it seems like it was all you taking her for granted so why not just catch up without selling yourself. Be prepared for whatever her answer is at least now you can move on no matter what. Good luck!
Sugarkane Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) That's harsh. I can totally relate about losing a job and getting depressed, especially in this economy. Why do people dump others because they lose their job? With the GFC and downturn it's pretty common. It's not like people have one Job for life anymore. I would hope my SO would stick to me through a tough time, not up and leave. If this happened again, would she up and leave? Edited September 6, 2013 by Sugarkane
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