suntopiaview Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Girl has a boyfriend of 6 years but has felt neglected during the relationship. They live in a studio apt. She met another guy, at a convention and have a lot in common - more in common than the ex, she became attracted to the new guy and broke up with her b/f. She has only met the new love interest once (at convention), he lives in a different state, they have only texted and talked on the phone since but she seems to really like him. When she broke up with her ex, she just thought he was just going to get up and walk away because she didn't think he cared. But she was wrong... Ex b/f knows how he feels for her and that he neglected her, so during the next month, he shows her how he feels. During this time she says to him that she now understands that he loves her, she has also expressed her love to him, they have had many intimate moments, etc. At the same time, not is all easy because she is confused between two guys still and there are days where she is a little distant to her ex b/f. She will be going to another long convention in about 5 days and the new guy will be there. She said she will find out for herself if this new guy is worth it, or if her ex bf of 6 years is the one. QUESTION: What does ex b/f do in this situation??? He has shown his ex g/f that he loves her and she no longer has doubts about that AND it is clear to him that his ex g/f still has strong emotions for him and also loves him. She has also explained that the ex represents security and comfort as well. But she is just really confused. So, does ex b/f: 1) be a man and be brave, stay at the studio apt, and continue to show his ex? OR 2) does he leave, and go LC or NC? In order to save himself and help his ex to realize some things... OR 3) other answer
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Good story...but who the hell am I talking to? 1
Author suntopiaview Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Good story...but who the hell am I talking to? The ex b/f So what does the ex b/f need to do?
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) Okay! You need to move on! Sucks to hear. But, you don't have a relationship with her anymore. That relationship ended the moment the two of you became three. Dude, she CHEATED on you and is now confused? And what do you think happened at that convention? Nothing? If that's the case, I have oceanfront property to sell you in the middle of the Mojave desert. Girls don't go to a convention and then come back and dump their boyfriends without something significant happening. Look, you said that you weren't boyfriend of the year. Okay. Fine. That's cool that you have the power to realize that. So, you can take 50% of the blame for the problems in the relationship and she can own up to the other 50%. But her cheating on you was 100% on her. You didn't ask for that and it certainly wasn't your fault. I mean, MY GOD!!! She's going to another convention in 5 days and she ALREADY TOLD YOU SHE'S GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU AGAIN!!! SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU SHE'S GOING TO SPEND TIME WITH THIS DUDE!!!! If she's confused, then you need to ease her of that burden. Because I'm sure that you want a woman that is 100% dedicated to you and no one else. Has she proven that to you?.......that would be a "NO". You don't need to fight for her. She needs to be fighting for you. Fighting for your relationship and for your forgiveness. Not the other way around. Edited September 5, 2013 by Chi townD 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Girl has a boyfriend of 6 years but has felt neglected during the relationship. They live in a studio apt. She met another guy, at a convention and have a lot in common - more in common than the ex, she became attracted to the new guy and broke up with her b/f. She has only met the new love interest once (at convention), he lives in a different state, they have only texted and talked on the phone since but she seems to really like him. When she broke up with her ex, she just thought he was just going to get up and walk away because she didn't think he cared. But she was wrong... Ex b/f knows how he feels for her and that he neglected her, so during the next month, he shows her how he feels. During this time she says to him that she now understands that he loves her, she has also expressed her love to him, they have had many intimate moments, etc. At the same time, not is all easy because she is confused between two guys still and there are days where she is a little distant to her ex b/f. She will be going to another long convention in about 5 days and the new guy will be there. She said she will find out for herself if this new guy is worth it, or if her ex bf of 6 years is the one. QUESTION: What does ex b/f do in this situation??? He has shown his ex g/f that he loves her and she no longer has doubts about that AND it is clear to him that his ex g/f still has strong emotions for him and also loves him. She has also explained that the ex represents security and comfort as well. But she is just really confused. So, does ex b/f: 1) be a man and be brave, stay at the studio apt, and continue to show his ex? OR 2) does he leave, and go LC or NC? In order to save himself and help his ex to realize some things... OR 3) other answer The "ex bf" should stay single and not go anywhere near this girl. She dumped him because she met someone else. Someone she doesn't know, live near, have any emotional investment with and she upped and ditched? The guy should get some balls and tell her to piss right off. If he doesn't he will have to live his whole relationship knowing that A) he meant very little to her B) knowing he was second best and C) wondering which stranger she'd ditch him for next. 1
Author suntopiaview Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 so I guess it is unaminous I should go LC or NC. I plan on leaving tomorrow and visit my sister for a while, she lives in a different state. So, go LC or NC?
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 so I guess it is unaminous I should go LC or NC. I plan on leaving tomorrow and visit my sister for a while, she lives in a different state. So, go LC or NC? NC. Lc is not enough. If you go lc the temptation is there and you'll never heal if they are there someway
Dolphono Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 QUESTION: What does ex b/f do in this situation??? So, does ex b/f: 1) be a man and be brave, stay at the studio apt, and continue to show his ex? OR 2) does he leave, and go LC or NC? In order to save himself and help his ex to realize some things... OR 3) other answer 3) Let her fly free. You, find a new "friend" and wait out your emotions. Now, if you truly love her? You'll be waiting wether you want to or not. The heart wants, what the heart wants. Hopefully her heart wants you too. Time will tell. Your answer is pretty much all of the above, pending on your emotional fortitude. Most folks around here aren't deep, nor strong enough for option # 3. You have to be a real P.I.M.P to execute that option. Good luck to you sir.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 3) Let her fly free. You, find a new "friend" and wait out your emotions. Now, if you truly love her? You'll be waiting wether you want to or not. The heart wants, what the heart wants. Hopefully her heart wants you too. Time will tell. Your answer is pretty much all of the above, pending on your emotional fortitude. Most folks around here aren't deep, nor strong enough for option # 3. You have to be a real P.I.M.P to execute that option. Good luck to you sir. P.i.m.p :laugh:
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