Coolit Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 And so far i feel calm. We will see on the day. My H talked to me about it. He reassured me and told me while it will be as awkward as hell he knows that we can handle it. After all we have handled Awkward before. Not this bad of course but we did have the guy my mom wanted me to marry show up at our wedding and act like it was a funeral with my mother and a few of her friends. Awkward. As were many many family dinners after our wedding. I know a lot of you think this is breaking NC and a bad decision. And you may be right. But only time will tell. Perhaps, if my H is in denial stage still this event will shock him oit of shock. Whatever the case I will go and I will not be an emotional mess. I will not make a scene and put even more strain on my H. I'll up date you all after the event. For now I am going to take a couple days off from this site. 1
BetrayedH Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Good luck, CoolIt. We'll see if your H changes his tune after this meet up. Either way, just support him (as I know you will). I also understand taking a break. For what it's worth, I saw the late night post last evening and it was over the top. You'll get those from time to time. In those cases, it speaks more to that poster than it does to you. Absorb it, keep your chin up, and move on. As they say, take what works for you and leave the rest. You're doing fine. 2
Bryanp Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I have to tell you. I think your husband is really a great guy who truly loves you very much. Do you really how fortunate you are. I hope you appreciate him now. Good luck. 1
twosadthings Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 If I am correct, remembering your previous posts, you and your husband have accepted that you will have no choice but to be in the same place at the same time as the other couple. Your husband's reaction to what has transpired and his unwillingness to go complete no contact because of your proximity to these people is still confusing to me. With that said, it is clear that you would like to not have any connection to them but do not want to rock the boat with your husband. I would suggest that you try to prevail upon your husband, for your sake, that when you see them you ignore them. If they approach you do not smile, shake hands, embrace or acknowledge them at all. Cling to each other and walk away from them. There is no logical, emotional or a help to your reconciliation reason to engage this couple at this event or anywhere else for that matter. My take, Twosadthings 1
road Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 If I am correct, remembering your previous posts, you and your husband have accepted that you will have no choice but to be in the same place at the same time as the other couple. No you if's, and's, or, but's, you are wrong. This WW and her BH choose to not to have NC with the other couple. 1
Author Coolit Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Good luck, CoolIt. We'll see if your H changes his tune after this meet up. Either way, just support him (as I know you will). I also understand taking a break. For what it's worth, I saw the late night post last evening and it was over the top. You'll get those from time to time. In those cases, it speaks more to that poster than it does to you. Absorb it, keep your chin up, and move on. As they say, take what works for you and leave the rest. You're doing fine. Thank you BH. I saw that post too and it hurt. I didn't report it but I was relieved to see it gone in the morning. 1
Author Coolit Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 It went well. I was as nervous as heck when they showed up but besides not making eye contact (which is hard to do and act natural btw) it went really well. My h enjoyed himself. He even acknowledged them with a nod. So, all in all I think we are making good progress. H before and after talked freely about the A. He told me that he doesn't blame them, just me. And as he has forgiven me he has forgiven them. I believe him. I know that doesn't mean things won't come up but I do think we are moving forward.
Author Coolit Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Your husband sounds like an amazing man. He is, and I don't deserve him. I felt that way before my A and more so now. But I am trying!
harrybrown Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Your husband is really amazing. I do not know any men that could handle this as well as he is. Much better man than I am. I would never be able to handle the situation this well, I am still stuck in anger after 3 years. Of course, it would help to have the full truth. That helps to get closure. You have a winner for a husband.
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