Lonelyangel Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Hello LS, well first of all sorry guys for my english. My story began 5 years ago, we met online and since then were in a long distance relationship. We only were could see each other every 2 months but used to chat every day. He had many female girlfriends and sometimes I was jealous and frustrated. With 2 of them he had sex before he met me. They got too see him almost every day and I was wishing to see him as often as they did. We argued alot in the last 3 months and 1 month ago he broke up with me via email . It was too much for him, he wasnt happy anymore and said it is the best for both of us. He also said, everytime we met he fell in love with me and after each fight he lost his feelings. Since then he cut off all contacs with me. The last month was horrible I can't move on, I want to meet him and tell him that the distance wasn't rght for us and if i move to his city everything will be ok. I'm scared of his rejection. What should I do?
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Hello LS, well first of all sorry guys for my english. My story began 5 years ago, we met online and since then were in a long distance relationship. We only were could see each other every 2 months but used to chat every day. He had many female girlfriends and sometimes I was jealous and frustrated. With 2 of them he had sex before he met me. They got too see him almost every day and I was wishing to see him as often as they did. We argued alot in the last 3 months and 1 month ago he broke up with me via email . It was too much for him, he wasnt happy anymore and said it is the best for both of us. He also said, everytime we met he fell in love with me and after each fight he lost his feelings. Since then he cut off all contacs with me. The last month was horrible I can't move on, I want to meet him and tell him that the distance wasn't rght for us and if i move to his city everything will be ok. I'm scared of his rejection. What should I do? Firstly don't even consider moving to where he lives!! Are you insane? The guy broke up with you and if you move there you'll be all alone and broken hearted. He used distance and arguing as a reason to break up but that I doubt is the real reason. He's been fine in a relationship for so long so that is not true. As much as you don't want to hear it he probably met someone else who lives there. Move on he's no good for you now x 1
Philosoraptor Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Everything wouldn't be ok if you moved to his city. Not only would the issues you already had be there, but also a whole host of new issues based on you picking up randomly and moving. His feelings came and went too fast and the same issues would occur if you saw him every day. 1
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Thank you guys for the answers. Well actually i just want to contact him, not now , maybe in a month And the reason of the break up were our fights. He likes a peaceful live without stress, I guess it was too much for him. I regret fighting with him and understand now that jealousy is a big NO GO in a relationship. Maybe he already forgot about me, i dont know...
JDPT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 To be honest, I quiet honestly believe he is not ready to commit to a relationship at this point. And it further appears that he isn't what you are looking for either. Moving the city where he lives will certainly not be conducive to your healing process. There are certain times in life when you need to be selfish and this is clearly one of them. Focus on yourself and analyze and internalize this past relationship and realize that he isn't what you are looking for to begin with. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Thank you guys for the answers. Well actually i just want to contact him, not now , maybe in a month And the reason of the break up were our fights. He likes a peaceful live without stress, I guess it was too much for him. I regret fighting with him and understand now that jealousy is a big NO GO in a relationship. Maybe he already forgot about me, i dont know... You can't help who you are, people are naturally jealous and insecure it's all about how you react too it. People argue, if arguments caused this break up then he can't love you that much can he. Stop making yourself the bad guy. You've done nothing wrong but be human! Do not contact him! Your problems won't be gone and you'll only hurt yourself even more 1
StrongLass Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 What should I do? 1) Forget him. 2) Focus on yourself 3) Forget him. Move on. And as other commenters have said DON'T move to his city! That will only cause more problems and solve nothing.
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 1) Forget him. 2) Focus on yourself 3) Forget him. Move on. And as other commenters have said DON'T move to his city! That will only cause more problems and solve nothing. I will not move to his city. And I'm trying to move on, I go out with my friends and go to gym every day. But when I'm alone I always think about him. I see all the mistakes I made in our relationship and want to improve myself. He refused to meet me and brake up live because he was scared, so the last memory i have of us is a kiss:(. Do the dumpers move on faster?
Philosoraptor Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Do the dumpers move on faster? Everyone moves on at their own pace. You can help your own process by going NC, not checking up (facebook, texting, etc.) on anything going on in his life, and doing things to make yourself happy. 1
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 Thank you for your advices guys, I appreciate it alot. 1 month of NC, haven't checked his Facebook for 1 weeks. But now I feel guilty, sometimes I argued too much because I wanted his attention. There is this guilt, when you blame yourself for a breakup. Sometimes you think ''I was not good enough to him, it was your fault''. You understand your faults only when you lose someone.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 8, 2013 Posted September 8, 2013 Thank you for your advices guys, I appreciate it alot. 1 month of NC, haven't checked his Facebook for 1 weeks. But now I feel guilty, sometimes I argued too much because I wanted his attention. There is this guilt, when you blame yourself for a breakup. Sometimes you think ''I was not good enough to him, it was your fault''. You understand your faults only when you lose someone. That or they make you feel faults that aren't and weren't even there to begin with 1
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 I just got a text from my ex : ''I'm glad that you are already feeling better'' He asked my friend about me and how i was doing. Should I answer him?
forgetmenot75 Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 No, don't answer him. You have nothing to say. He broke with you, he might feel guilty. Stay no contact.
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 I guess he already moved on and maybe he is really glad that I'm not ''sad anymore''
Author Lonelyangel Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 Ok guys, I can't stop thinking about him. I want to see him again, I almost bought a ticket yesterday. He broke up with me because i was controlling and jealous when he met his friends. I want to change my behavior, it was unfair. Every single night I'm dreaming to see him one more time.
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