Zukethenuke Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I will be moving to a new city in about a month. I set up a profile at an online dating site to start meeting women in the city I'll be moving to. There is a girl I like and we have exchanged emails twice and Instant Messaged once. I asked her on a coffee date when I get to town in a month and she accepted. Now, my question is: How much contact should I have with her in the next month? I don't want to weird her out, but I would like to talk more with her. Any advise?
CarrieT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I think checking in once a week or so would be appropriate... You can start asking her advice about the city you are moving to and small updates on your moving progress so she will know you are sincerely moving there and not a player.
carhill Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 A couple contacts about plans and questions about her city would be appropriate. Keep it light and topical. You don't know her and vice versa. If things work out, you might have a new friend in your new city. If not, no biggie. IMO, once there, focus on meeting new people and socializing in person. Use OLD to augment. As an example, I was just visiting the area I'm planning to move to in a year or two last week. Spent a week up there looking at business and real property and meeting the locals. Spent a lot of time talking to people. Made some business contacts. Sampled the fairer sex in a general way. Over time, I'll grow those interactions. Everything takes time. Remember, have fun. Don't sweat the details about dating. You'll likely make other contacts through OLD or when there. No rush. Good luck.
TB Rhine Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Yeah, definitely don't overplay it. I've moved a couple times over the last year (to northeast Ohio and then back to the southwest); I tried friending people on Facebook and such ahead of time, and it just got... weird. (Example: added a girl who was part of a club - Secular Student Alliance - that I also joined. Over the next few months I had quite a bit of interaction with her ((and others)) via the group/forum dedicated to the club. The day I arrived there was an event on campus where all the clubs and organizations had booths set up; I stopped by and didn't see anyone I knew from online, but looked at the pics posted on Facebook later and saw that several - including the girl in question - had shown up after I was there. I commented on one photo saying something to the effect of, "Hey, wish I'd know you were gonna be there, I would've stopped by." I was informed later - by a third party - that my comment was considered weird/creepy) My point with that little novella, I guess, is that meeting someone and even talking with them extensively online is not the same as "knowing" them, and if you forget that fact and start to become too familiar, it can bite you in the ass. In fact, I would say that the longer and more extensively you conduct a communication online, the more fraught with eventual faux pas and pitfalls the eventual meeting becomes.
pteromom Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I will be moving to a new city in about a month. I set up a profile at an online dating site to start meeting women in the city I'll be moving to. There is a girl I like and we have exchanged emails twice and Instant Messaged once. I asked her on a coffee date when I get to town in a month and she accepted. Now, my question is: How much contact should I have with her in the next month? I don't want to weird her out, but I would like to talk more with her. Any advise? I'd go for it. I would let HER dictate the pace... Email her or IM her and start a conversation, and she'll either keep it going or let it die down. If she lets it die down, then back off to once a week or so. But she may want to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know her.
Recommended Posts