I thought learning she slept with someone else would ..

[Ginchz]

Hello, I(23M) have been lurking around this website since my relationship with my girlfriend(22F) is over since a month ago (it lasted about 3 years). My ex has always been a good girl, but had huge problem with her temper.. We had an awesome relationship but it ended up with a big fight, which she decided it was over. We had a past history of having 2-3 big fights which ended up with a week of NC then we come back together trying to fix what happened.

 

But, this time it was different, she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore, told me not to text her anymore(she was annoyed I spoke to her about it, I couldn't get it out of my mind) and something seemed to hold her back.. I did what peoples were telling to do : NC. I did the no contact thing for a month.. which was way TOO painful ( I had a leg surgery at the time of the breakup, the only thing I could do is stay at home, me and my head, thinking about it.. yes friends were there, but they still work and all.) and badly I was still checking up her Facebook 2-3 times ( she still is on my mother fb ... yeah I know that's bad of me.. )

 

Then, last week my grandmother died, my mother posted on Facebook the funeral coordinates.. and guess what, she ended up there out of nowhere. We did speak a little, it was kind of awkward tho.. I started remembering everything and really felt a need to ''kiss'' or be close to her, I missed that time so much and I realized I am still in love with her. When she left, we told each others if there's anything to text each others.. I felt kinda happy, she now wants to talk to me.

 

So a couple of days passed.. I was waiting for her to text me, and couldn't hold myself anymore.. I wanted to know what was happening in her life, how she was doing..

 

So I texted her and invited her to go eat somewhere.. she accepted but told me she doesn't love me anymore and to not make myself some ideas. I told myself to hold it then and accepted. We started talking, it was awkward at first, my heart was beating so fast just looking at her in the eyes : then the feeling I hate the most came on : I started panicking in the inside..

 

I did something I shouldn't have done : while browsing through her Facebook, I saw a new guy friend with her and he keeps commenting her things and all.. I suspected something. When we were talking, she didn't mention anything about another guy until I asked if she was seeing this guy. I saw it on her face the second I said his name.. I asked her if she could be honest so that it could help me get through it (I was always asking myself if she would come back) then she started telling me the truth. No longer than 2 weeks after our breakup, a guy made her meet another guy.. She told me it is a very nice person she likes him and then told me she did indeed sleep with him and is seeing him. It really did hit and shatter me, I felt like I wanted to know more even if it did hurt me.. I thought it was the good way to do it, so I could actually move on faster. I was so wrong.

 

I have huge troubles sleeping, I see her in my head ****ing with the guy, kissing him like she did with me, and do everything we did me and her. I can't seems to get over it. the second I am doing an activity to change my mind, I still think about her, I cant even play videogames anymore without stopping every 5 mins. I even texted her this morning saying sorry about my reaction (asking her about everything) and I came back on the subject and she stopped answering. I know I must stop, I know I should not do this, but I cant seem to hold myself.. I am dragging myself to the bottom and I cant even stop it.. I loved her way too much.

 

Help ?

 

thank you for reading..

Edited September 5, 2013 by Ginchz

[Philosoraptor]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss of a loved one. Honestly, these times naturally make you want to be close with someone.

 

You made the mistake of checking up on her and asking questions that you couldn't handle. You'd be best to go NC and stop checking up on her life. The more you know the more you start to make comparisons in your head and wonder what she's doing and who with.

 

NC NC NC NC NC. Not everyone needs NC, but you can't handle knowing things right now as they have made you obsessive. NC and focus on yourself, not on the ex's life.

[Ginchz]

Its been 3 days since I saw her (when she told me she slept with the other guy and sees him now) .. Its getting better, there's no way around time.. if anyone has this kind of problem too, cheer up ! The hardest to do is to concentrate on our life instead of their.. like Philo said.. !

 

Thank you Philosoraptor ! Indeed, NC is the way to go.. While desperate, the conversation (the day I made the post) finished by me saying ''I will call you in 2 weeks to try doing something as friends''. She approved that if i'm not in love with her anymore it is ok to do something together. I kind off regret saying that because I don't think it is a good idea anymore and that I should focus on NC, because I will go back to the start..

[stormer1092]

Yea I found out 4 days after me and my ex "broke up" she ended up doing oral with some guy from work. The sad thing is that I just left and didn't talk to her for a few days because I needed to work on myself. It hurt really bad. But the bad thing is that we talked about what happened and she said she only kissed him at first and I was like whatever emotionally confused kiss and we ended up having sex that night like everything was back to normal. It wasn't the next day till I found out she did things. But we were still talking as friends nothing big just like hey whats up and how was your day. But then my bday came along and NO text or call from her so I was kinda mad and the next day I said why didn't you text me at all or anything? Thats when she told me she was with this other guy and not to text her again. So I did just that. Went NC. Its still hard because I know he's just a rebound and she went running to him as soon as I wasn't there. Its hard man I understand.

[Ginchz]

Wow, I feel for you buddy. It sucks that she did that to you, its kind of cruel.. It is crazy how hard it is to accept that she now sees another guy, even if we dont want to think about it we end up having images of her with the other person.. Accepting it is the key I guess.. We have like no control over this, I cant even get her back her mind is made up and she wants the guy..! And here we are, thinking about our loved ones all alone. Damn rebounds. Hope you'll get better soon too

[stormer1092]

Yea good luck to you to. Its funny because not everyone knows about rebounds and it happens way to often. Funny thing is that this guy shes seeing is some skinny mothereffer and is leaving in 6 months anyway also nothing of her type at all. He just gave her attention.