vetruvius Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Hi all, this will be my first post online ever. I'm in the deepest pain ever. Any advice would be appreciated. Had a 6 month -long distance- relation. I never talked so much with a person in my life. (20.000 messages and daily phone calls) We were hooked in a bliss and we never had an arguement. We had multiple cirytrips and all went perfect. We were a very good match and had the most amazing times together. After a long tiring holiday (we traveled to much in a short period) she broke up with me, out of the blue, because she felt we were not made for each other : I didn't gave her enough attention and there were some (bathroom) details that bothered her. She is 25 and just finish university. She believes still in the perfect man. The only discussion we had was about perfectionism and the trip we made was a bit to exhausting. Another influencer is that her sister a long istance marriage that recently failed. (bad example for her, as it really had to be even more perfect for us then) Now comes the bad part - I have been chasing her the last 2 months, sending flowers and letters..and every week a facebook message. She responded all in a polite way, and when I was drifing aways she start liking my pictures and sending questions. A few weeks ago we had again a nice long telephone conversation. Told her I was going to live in her country for a few months, and she said we were going to meet 'of course'. But the last weeks I messed it up for good. I sended her more gifts and a letter. And she pulled away completely. I'm in her country now, and we had an emotional call last week. I pushed her and then she said she had moved on and she was never ever going to be with me again. I started crying and she basicly hung up the phone. First time in my life I cried for a girl. I acted like a complete wussy. I realize I messed all up being so needy. I acted desperate killing all that was left. Since then I blocked her on facebook and deleted her phone number. I feel I can begin healing. Though It feels horrible to realize that I will never will see the woman I love again in my life. I will meet other girls but I'm realistic this is a serious loss for me. (considering our distance) Though I will recover and have many things to look forward to. I will start a complete no contact, but I feel bad doing that in such a hard ending. I really prefer to end this with minimal respect. Not like this. Given this situation, I'm not going to stay in her country now, (I travel a lot for business) can I email her next week to offer to use the great appartment I rented that has been payed for anyway? I know her sister & friends are looking for an appartment, or shall I just leave the appartment empty? I think this could be a gentle closing gesture if done without any emotions. It would show I'm moving on literally. I would write also 'recover well' as she has a big operation and she is in serious pain. Yes I know this is hopeless and I have to move on, you don't need to say that again. But you can understand that I want to close in a positive way before I leave her completely. I'm rather sure she would answer I'm sure you will understand that. I also relaize that would be back again in day1 of NC Thanks for all answers.
KCCK Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 in my personal opinion, it is good that you have already accepted the facts and decided to move on.. it is also good to hear that you are trying to just leave a positive note behind because many relationship ended sourly for both parties.. i guess it is ok to send a message but keep in mind, the message must be strictly professional and dont hope for any miracles to happen after sending the message.. if they want to use the apartment, than it's ok, if they ignore or refuse than just smile and move on.. Dont go beg and etc ya... cheers bro.. =)
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