Ratherbone Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 This is the first time I've ever done something like this, so please bear with me. About 2 years ago I met this girl on Chatroulette. She added me on Facebook and we talked a lot on there. About a year ago we entered a LDR, and it going well until I started getting needy and jealous and we broke up. However, the only thing that changed when we broke up was that we were no longer bf/gf. We still stay up late talking to each other, we kept saying 'I love you' and we even met up a couple of times after break up (I'm in England, she's in Germany). A few months ago, we'd both started seeing other people, but there was still something between us - for example, she gets really jealous when I talk about the other girl, she told me that she's 'hurt' now she no longer knows she's my 'everything'. It may have something to do with the fact that her relationship with this new guy went badly - he used her and broke her heart. Now she started talking to this guy who she broke up with and he's hurting her all over again, and she's sick of it and she asked me my opinion. I told her what I thought, then I told her she should give up on him and be with me, because unlike that douche, I actually want to be with her. She then proceeded to tell me that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, that I'm essentially friendzoned. I was ok with the friendship we had where we still have love with none of the issues of having a relationship... But now she's friendzoned me, I really can't help thinking of her in any way but a romantic way. Her actions over these past few weeks signify to me that she feels a similar way, even though she told me (only yesterday when she was pissed off with me) that she only loves me as a friend. Argh... This all sounds jumbled up. I'm sorry if this is confusing, and if there are any pertinent details you need in order to give me your opinion, please ask. As I said, I'm new to this kind of thing (forum advice) so I'm not too sure how it all works. I guess what I want to know is: (1) Does she like me? (2) Do I pursue a relationship with her? (3) Should I just be happy with the uncomplicated friendship-with-love we have? (4) Have I complicated the uncomplicated friendship by telling her I want her to be mine? Thank you for reading :-)
Author Ratherbone Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Thanks for the quick response, I should just add: It wasn't a random add from Chatroulette. Although I didn't know her, when we were talking on there it turned out she not only knew where I'm from, we had mutual friends - that's the only reason we added each other on Facebook and took it from there. Also, if it wasn't for her questions, I would never talk to her about other girls, but she manages to bring it up - for example, she'll ask what I'm up to tonight, I say I'm going out with some friends, she'll ask if there are any girls, then she'll ask if there's anything going on between me and A, then me and B, then me and C and so on and so on. I never ever ask about the guys she likes, she just tells me because she thinks it will make me jealous - and in fairness, it sometimes works, haha. I hate it when she tells me about guys, as you say, I'M NOT HER GAL PAL. And I don't wanna be! I love her though, so I can't just tell her to shut up about it already, haha. Side note: We're both 19, moving isn't a possibility for at least 2 years due to our commitments to University
Betterthanthis13 Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 This is the first time I've ever done something like this, so please bear with me. About 2 years ago I met this girl on Chatroulette. She added me on Facebook and we talked a lot on there. About a year ago we entered a LDR, and it going well until I started getting needy and jealous and we broke up. However, the only thing that changed when we broke up was that we were no longer bf/gf. We still stay up late talking to each other, we kept saying 'I love you' and we even met up a couple of times after break up (I'm in England, she's in Germany). A few months ago, we'd both started seeing other people, but there was still something between us - for example, she gets really jealous when I talk about the other girl, she told me that she's 'hurt' now she no longer knows she's my 'everything'. It may have something to do with the fact that her relationship with this new guy went badly - he used her and broke her heart. Now she started talking to this guy who she broke up with and he's hurting her all over again, and she's sick of it and she asked me my opinion. I told her what I thought, then I told her she should give up on him and be with me, because unlike that douche, I actually want to be with her. She then proceeded to tell me that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, that I'm essentially friendzoned. I was ok with the friendship we had where we still have love with none of the issues of having a relationship... But now she's friendzoned me, I really can't help thinking of her in any way but a romantic way. Her actions over these past few weeks signify to me that she feels a similar way, even though she told me (only yesterday when she was pissed off with me) that she only loves me as a friend. Argh... This all sounds jumbled up. I'm sorry if this is confusing, and if there are any pertinent details you need in order to give me your opinion, please ask. As I said, I'm new to this kind of thing (forum advice) so I'm not too sure how it all works. I guess what I want to know is: (1) Does she like me? (2) Do I pursue a relationship with her? (3) Should I just be happy with the uncomplicated friendship-with-love we have? (4) Have I complicated the uncomplicated friendship by telling her I want her to be mine? Thank you for reading :-) You sound like a really sweet kid who is looking for answers. I'm sorry this isn't working out for you easily. Relationships require two people who know themselves and what they want. Focus on yourself for awhile and good things will come to you.
Recommended Posts