berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 so things have been ok between me and my ex, we've been working with each other, and trying move on. but i've been upset because i something has been bugging me because i needed to confront her if she cheated. i deserve to know the truth because someone told me some info. i said this "don't take this like i'm angry, but can you please be honest, was there another guy." things got heated real quick and she told me off. said things like "you and your friends have no f**king lives, i have other things to worry about than your sorry ass, you're never going to have another girlfriend, you're unattractive, i didn't like having sex with you anymore, you can't dance, i don't want to see you or talk to you, even be remotely near you. i'm never getting back with you ever!!! leave me alone and stay out of my life!" i never said anything about wanting to get back with her. i told her i just wanted the truth, and i just wanted closure. she went on to say how i'm not 'the one.' that she broke up with me because i didn't give her all of me, that i was a liar. btw, she never said if there was another guy, just changed the subject and bashed me for being the worst person that ever happened to her. then she hung up. i texted her that i was sorry for bringing it up, and never got a response. i've never been so hurt in my life. i've been breaking down all day. does she mean about all the things she said about me? or is it just the heat of the moment and she was emotional? will i ever hear from her again?
Betterthanthis13 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Oh man. That really sucks. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don't know your situation but from this post it sounds like she reacted to your simple question with anger because she didn't want to answer it. She turned it all around on you instead and blew up. You shouldn't be in contact with this person. I know it's painful but you owe it to yourself to stay strong. No contact is your best bet, it will take time to feel better but you can do it.
Jiminy Cricket Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 i know that feeling when your ex overreacts, its probably a sign it was true.
Salvatore85 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Wooh wooh wooh what is up with the "you can't dance" part? That's just taking it too far... 1
Salvatore85 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 But anyway dude this is something you are better off not knowing. You don't need this eating at you because that's what it will do. Don't believe a damn word she says when she's being petty and trying to destroy your self esteem. Don't waste another minute with her because there are too many awesome females out there who won't cheat or bad mouth you.
Misfortune Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Send her some tissues for those issues. Some people are so unnecessary with the theatrics. 2
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Oh man. That really sucks. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don't know your situation but from this post it sounds like she reacted to your simple question with anger because she didn't want to answer it. She turned it all around on you instead and blew up. You shouldn't be in contact with this person. I know it's painful but you owe it to yourself to stay strong. No contact is your best bet, it will take time to feel better but you can do it. i've been in contact with her because she still cares about me, and she knows i don't have a support system. now she lost love for me and doesn't want to talk to me ever again.
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 But anyway dude this is something you are better off not knowing. You don't need this eating at you because that's what it will do. Don't believe a damn word she says when she's being petty and trying to destroy your self esteem. Don't waste another minute with her because there are too many awesome females out there who won't cheat or bad mouth you. i don't know why she's like this now, we use to be so close, she was my lover, best friend. sucks giving that all up.
robbysurfs Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Whoa.. that is tough man go NC and maybe one day you will have the convo you want to have with her but unfortunately that day ain't today. If she did or did not cheat really is non of your business at this point and don't take it the wrong way but its over and you have to accept it. You will learn from this and your skin will get thicker your heart and mind will clear up and be more open for the next one to come along... Master Yoda: "Many of the truths we cling to depend on your point of view"
Betterthanthis13 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 i've been in contact with her because she still cares about me, and she knows i don't have a support system. now she lost love for me and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. She is not a support system. She is hurting you. What can you do to work on getting some people in your life to care about you, who won't abuse you like that?
Misfortune Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 i've been in contact with her because she still cares about me, and she knows i don't have a support system. now she lost love for me and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. Don't let her being you down with her nonsense. This just seemed like a case of loudest bark wins. You see it all the time with people who have disagreements, someone knows they lost the argument but they can't accept, so they resort to yelling/name calling. For some reason, people always seem to believe that the one with the outburst is right. We even come to believe it ourselves and end up apologizing, even though we're right. Rather then a simple "no,yes, I won't answer that" or even avoid the question, she chose to attack your self esteem to make herself look good.
Salvatore85 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 i don't know why she's like this now, we use to be so close, she was my lover, best friend. sucks giving that all up. Because she's immature. Instead of answer you honestly she deflected and made you out to be the bad guy. We're all here because our lover and best friend did this exact same crap to us but dammit we can help each other make it out of this alive. You can do this but you can't believe any of the horrible crap she said to you because it's simply not true. 1
nerdlingZA Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Dude if you'l recently broke up its normal for her to say , those things , when my Ex broke up with me I too asked her if she cheated she told me to "move on" , those words hurt , but after going NC for 5months he's been nice to me. But your Ex has gone too far . the only thing u can do is go NC.
todreaminblue Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 i dont know why she said those horrible things to you...nasty stuff..... sometimes people say things to make the other person hate them resent them and so that person they dumped can move on...i believe my ex did this.....he threatened me with losing what was most important to me....and i resented him, lost all respect, never hated him, he broke me though.....he insulted the ones i loved, said horrible things about me, nasty things that sliced my heart open, and told me i would never see my daughters again and I wanted to get as far away as possible after that...and that i did...then he regretted it......and he has said sorry and meant it...... sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment......one of my exes does this too drugs and alcohol help this to happen sometimes people are just nasty all i know is when people do things like this to another.....its over...you cant be with them it doesnt matter what they say any more...they are not for you...you can forgive them....but its over...........you dont break people for any reason...breaking spirits and hearts isnt something you do on a whim......its not something you should do at all......she was wrong for you....i am sorry she felt the need to give you insecurity....dont take that insecurity with you......leave that crap at her door and walk out...its her baggage not yours.........you know in your heart its not true..heal and i wish you the best.......deb
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Don't let her being you down with her nonsense. This just seemed like a case of loudest bark wins. You see it all the time with people who have disagreements, someone knows they lost the argument but they can't accept, so they resort to yelling/name calling. For some reason, people always seem to believe that the one with the outburst is right. We even come to believe it ourselves and end up apologizing, even though we're right. Rather then a simple "no,yes, I won't answer that" or even avoid the question, she chose to attack your self esteem to make herself look good. yeah exactly, she always has to be right. never owns up to anything. can't give me a straight answer, but instead she flips out and turns me into a bad person. 1
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 i dont know why she said those horrible things to you...nasty stuff..... sometimes people say things to make the other person hate them resent them and so that person they dumped can move on...i believe my ex did this.....he threatened me with losing what was most important to me....and i resented him, lost all respect, never hated him, he broke me though.....he insulted the ones i loved, said horrible things about me, nasty things that sliced my heart open, and told me i would never see my daughters again and I wanted to get as far away as possible after that...and that i did...then he regretted it......and he has said sorry and meant it...... sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment......one of my exes does this too drugs and alcohol help this to happen sometimes people are just nasty all i know is when people do things like this to another.....its over...you cant be with them it doesnt matter what they say any more...they are not for you...you can forgive them....but its over...........you dont break people for any reason...breaking spirits and hearts isnt something you do on a whim......its not something you should do at all......she was wrong for you....i am sorry she felt the need to give you insecurity....dont take that insecurity with you......leave that crap at her door and walk out...its her baggage not yours.........you know in your heart its not true..heal and i wish you the best.......deb well at least your ex said sorry. my ex never apologized for anything she done wrong. i don't know if she's stressed about other things, and shes displacing her anger, but it was uncalled for.
todreaminblue Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 well at least your ex said sorry. my ex never apologized for anything she done wrong. i don't know if she's stressed about other things, and shes displacing her anger, but it was uncalled for. took a long time for him to say sorry,and that conversation where he broke me is not something i will ever forget....i cant forget so my stupid memory retains it....traumatised me you are right it was uncalled for what your ex said.....but words that are said cant be unsaid even if you apologise....they remain with the person you said them too...just hold your head up berkely the hurt will fade.......it always does.....thats the truth...............deb
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 took a long time for him to say sorry,and that conversation where he broke me is not something i will ever forget....i cant forget so my stupid memory retains it....traumatised me you are right it was uncalled for what your ex said.....but words that are said cant be unsaid even if you apologise....they remain with the person you said them too...just hold your head up berkely the hurt will fade.......it always does.....thats the truth...............deb thanks for the kind words, feeling better already.
Omei Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I dont know if it's been said yet but I hope you dont believe any of that bull she spilled out, she fell for you once for all the reasons she mentioned dont believe it for one second. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 It sucks that she said that to you, but you really need to stop contacting her. The more you continue to do this, the more things like this will come up. You have to stop talking to her immediately. I mean, you've been told this several times yet you refuse to do it, which prolongs your pain and anguish. Enough is enough.
Author berkeley1987 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 so this morning i received a text from her saying "is everything ok with you?" says that she's been stressed out lately, and me asking her that was added more stress. so i apologized and she said "i hear you." she said "we some time for us to heal. i know it does take a long time to let go." i went on to say how much those things hurt me, how it was uncalled for, but she was hurt too. she also said that she didn't cheat, and doesn't have a new boyfriend. she didn't apologize for what she said.
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 WTF?!?!? WILL YOU STOP CONTACTING HER! EATING UP ALL OF HER BREADCRUMBS!!!!!! Even if things were said out of anger, there's a little err of truth to how they feel about you. She said some mean and vile things to you. AND NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED ABOUT IT!!! Stop taking her sh*t. You're not her friend (she made that pretty obvious). Time to heal and move on, dude. You're never going to get the truth from her. And the way that she exploded? Very frickin defensive in my book. Move on, dude.
veggirl Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 STOP contacting her and responding to her! STOP telling her your feelings!!!! You look weak and desperate when you do it! If she asks how you are, NO RESPONSE. Esp no **** about how she hurt your feelings! Cmon. i've been in contact with her because she still cares about me, and she knows i don't have a support system. now she lost love for me and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. She doesn't care about you, she cares about herself. She'd be doing you a favor if she never spoke to you again. You should hope she doesn't, so you can move on. You have NO friends? NO family? Really? well at least your ex said sorry. my ex never apologized for anything she done wrong. i don't know if she's stressed about other things, and shes displacing her anger, but it was uncalled for. Yeah you need to date a mature adult, not a childish brat who "displaces her anger". Seriously. you are apologizing to HER? weak, weak, weak. Just quit talking to her, do not respond to her stupid texts.
pteromom Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Sounds to me like she didn't want to answer the cheating question, so she turned it around to be about you and get you upset about that instead. It doesn't really matter if what she said is true or not. She is a person who is very cruel when she is angry, and you can do better than someone like that.
Misfortune Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 so this morning i received a text from her saying "is everything ok with you?" says that she's been stressed out lately, and me asking her that was added more stress. so i apologized and she said "i hear you." she said "we some time for us to heal. i know it does take a long time to let go." i went on to say how much those things hurt me, how it was uncalled for, but she was hurt too. she also said that she didn't cheat, and doesn't have a new boyfriend. she didn't apologize for what she said. She is a keyboard warrior. A lot of people act differently behind tech than they do in person. Why couldn't she have said all of this directly to you rather than insulting you? She hasn't apologized either, just ignore her. I find it hard to believe that you have no1 else besides her to talk to.
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