mrbrightside14 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I like to believe I am the most freaking awesome dude that every girl should desire. I have slept with a good number of girls by now, and I have had some short-term relationships here and there. However, I keep getting struck out on the ones that I really wanna be with. I do believe I have many good qualities, but obviously I am doing something wrong, or something about me is turning them off. I just can't seem to point out what it is! So, I am thinking about asking the girls who rejected me for honest opinions. Like, what are some things about me that turned you off? What do you think I need to work on? I really wanna be a better man and improve my game so that I can be in a happy, nurturing, meaningful relationship when a right one comes along. Would females be willing to help me out?
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 If you get turned down by the ones you want to be with, what exactly do you mean by want to be with? If you are going solely off looks then anything we say is pointless. Nurturing relationship s work with the right person. You dont really know anything about them if they turn you down.
Moe'sTavern Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Well you certainly have a high opinion of yourself; so confidence shouldn't be one of your issues. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 The ones you should be asking are the ones that you had short term relationships with.
MrCastle Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Asking them what's wrong with you? Lol if I get rejected there's something wrong with them. To answer your question, no. Don't ask. It comes off as insecure. 3
phineas Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Asking them what's wrong with you? Lol if I get rejected there's something wrong with them. To answer your question, no. Don't ask. It comes off as insecure. That & you will never get a straight answer. 3
aussietigerwolf Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 That & you will never get a straight answer. this I agree with.
Kizza Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 You will not get anywhere. The things that girl number 1 hated about you are things that girl number 2 loved about you which girl number 3 never noticed but had entirely different likes and hates about you. Just keep dating and one day you will find someone, click, and the rest will be history. 1
GravityMan Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I do not think that is a good idea, OP. Many women won't give you a straight answer to begin with, perhaps out of wariness to how you will react. Many of them just prefer a clean break from you ASAP...to never see or talk to you ever again. And even if she does give you an honest answer, will it really help you that much? These women don't know you very well. The next woman you meet may like some of the things about you that turned off the previous woman. You would be better off getting constructive criticism from a good friend who has a history of one or more happy long-term relationships. Someone who's willing to be frank with you.
salparadise Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Don't ask. Just get some tattoos and learn to rap. 1
Moe'sTavern Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Don't ask. Just get some tattoos and learn to rap. Don't forget the gold-plated chains. 1
HappyLove Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 First and foremost don't call women females! 1
pteromom Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I would give an ex honest feedback if he asked, but the problem is that what "turns me off" or pushes me away may be the exact thing that attracts another woman. We aren't all the same, and we value different things. So I don't think you'd get HELPFUL feedback. If a woman says she hated how you made everything into a joke, and you quit joking around so much due to her feedback, you may miss out on the next girl who you would have had an awesome and hilarious relationship with. Just be who you are, and make sure you are building connections based on more than just looks and chemistry. And you'll be OK. 1
darkmoon Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) do you come off as a bit vain? I expect that self-improvement is hard work, but, yow, the way you describe yourself is fault-free, you do not even put in a self-deprecating joke, not even Justin Beiber comes across like you, and he's a popular star, impressions of ppl can be intuitive for women, your problem might be how you want to dazzle, even be out of our league, eeek Edited September 5, 2013 by darkmoon
carhill Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 OP, since you have no issues dating and having sex with women, I'd suggest, rather than soliciting past partners/rejectors for advice, seek it from men who are successfully and happily married or in similar LTR's. Their advice is what you need to be successful with the women you 'want to be with'. I'd also suggest not dating and having sex with women you don't want to be with. Focus on growing what you want. Good luck. 2
TB Rhine Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 For one, what do you mean by "struck out with?" Do you mean they never gave you the time of day, never agreed to go out with you, etc... if so, how could you possibly know they're the ones you "really wanna be with?" On the other hand, if you actually had (albeit short-term) relationships with some of these women, it might be worth talking to a few of them about why they feel things didn't work out. That's how I would put it to them - why do you think we didn't work out over the long haul? Then, if you find you're hearing a lot of the same things from multiple women - you've got a wandering eye, don't have enough ambition, don't seem to be going anywhere in life, etc. - well, those are things you can work on. You know how they say that jerks get all the women? Well, I think there's some truth to that, in a way. Basically, I think the guys who have the most long-lasting relationships are the extraordinarily "good" ones (successful, really has their life together, emotionally available but not needy, etc.) and the extraordinarily "bad" ones (addicted, abusive, can't hold a job or stay out of jail for more than a week, et al). The good ones are a great catch and (hopefully) those women know what they've lucked into; the bad ones, on the other hand, supply an intensity that keeps women hooked. The more run-of-the-mill schlubs among us can't compete. 1
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