lexie6253 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for 2and a half years we are now in a long distance situation temporarily he left in june 3 months ago and I am supposed to move to be with him in February things have been great until this last month we had talked about marriage and he was even talking about shopping for rings we lived together for over a year before he left we both loved eachother so much he always told me how lucky he was to have me and how heart broken he would be if I didnt end up moving to be with him and all of a sudden in the last few weeks he has been distant and not talking as much and feels like ignoring me and ive asked if we were ok he promised things were fine just the distance sucked I told him I was planning to come see him soon and he told me I should wait he doesnt feel the same he didnt think the distance should be so hard hes never done distance before and he just kinda wants to quit I dont know what to do I want to save this I love him so much I feel like its only thie distance that is the problem seeing him is all I can think to do but he doesn't want me to come and waist a trip and money if things didnt work were still talking short texts here and there do I give him space ? Please help
emi Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Distance is a test If he wanted to quit, you can just try to convince him, but if he insist on the way out, there is nothing u can do People are always insecured, But those who nailed it is those who didnt let fear conquer them You said u gonna move to be with him soon, so it shouldnt be a problem I know some couple waited years to be together. 1
ThisGal Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) Long distance is by no means easy, there will be some difficult times; he's clearly been feeling in these past 3 months. However, he should be feeling content knowing that you will be with him soon, February isn't as far as it seems, just 5 months. That should bring him comfort, not feel discouraged at the last minute. You should be direct and ask him for some clarity. You've been together for a few years, does he want to throw that all away or continue to make this relationship work...Ask him what he wants to do because the uncertainty is causing you confusion and you want to see if you both are on the same page and let him know that being apart has been difficult for you as well but try to uplift his spirits and assure him that you two will be together soon. Edited September 5, 2013 by ThisGal
CherryT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I'm sorry you're going through this, but I don't think it's the distance. The fact that you can plan to visit and there is an end-date in sight (February) should be enough to sustain a relationship if it was "all good" as you described. Distance can be a test like another poster said... it can show you whether the relationship itself or the person in it is worth the distance. Distance is not easy and you miss the person you love so much. But having an end date makes things so much more bearable. My BF and I have been in LD for over a year and a half... We're finally starting the move (We're in different Countries but only 3 hours a part by plane and in the same timezone). This could take another year to finalize and for the first year, we had no "end date". We just knew I would be the one moving but our lives didn't allow us to create a concrete plan until just recently. I wonder why he wouldn't want you to visit... if distance was the issue and him missing you so much was too hard for him, a visit would be an amazing thing.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for 2and a half years we are now in a long distance situation temporarily he left in june 3 months ago and I am supposed to move to be with him in February things have been great until this last month we had talked about marriage and he was even talking about shopping for rings we lived together for over a year before he left we both loved eachother so much he always told me how lucky he was to have me and how heart broken he would be if I didnt end up moving to be with him and all of a sudden in the last few weeks he has been distant and not talking as much and feels like ignoring me and ive asked if we were ok he promised things were fine just the distance sucked I told him I was planning to come see him soon and he told me I should wait he doesnt feel the same he didnt think the distance should be so hard hes never done distance before and he just kinda wants to quit I dont know what to do I want to save this I love him so much I feel like its only thie distance that is the problem seeing him is all I can think to do but he doesn't want me to come and waist a trip and money if things didnt work were still talking short texts here and there do I give him space ? Please help This should raise big red flags. If he thought things might not work out, why wouldn't he want the chance to see you so that you could speak in person and feel it out? I hate to put the idea in your head, but could there be someone else in the picture that he's trying to hide from you?
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