angbez33 Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 I just signed up for this a few hours ago because my friends suggested it after a very long night of crying. Last night my boyfriend broke up with me. I met him 2 months ago and since that day I have only not seen him 5 days. I was going home one weekend up to upstate NY from DC and he came with me after only dating for a few weeks. He told me he cared for me more than any girl he had ever met and he said he was in love once. We discussed everything had very open communication. Then this weekend my college girl friends came into town and a lot of drama happened with them including me almost taking them to the airport to go back to NYC. I was friends with them way before him obviously and he didn’t know how much background stuff was building up and it all came out. I think the actions of how my friends and I acted scared him and put questions in his head. Last night he came here and ended it with me and now I am devastated. He didn’t yell I didn’t either he just said he was not 100% sure he wanted to be with me and he didn’t want to hurt me in the long run. He doesn’t want to work on things he walked out the door. Are guys worth trying to get back? Not all things are 100% all of the time how do I get him to see that all relationships take work. Seeing him cry last night killed me. About an hour ago I found a shirt of his in my closet and I started to cry again….will the pain go away?
bluechocolate Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 ….will the pain go away? Yes. I think the actions of how my friends and I acted scared him and put questions in his head. It sounds like that may have been the thing. Are guys worth trying to get back? You can but try. It's only been a day. Give yourself a few days to calm down & gather your thoughts and then see how you feel. If you think you could talk to him calmly & accept whatever he has to tell you, then give him a call & see what he has to say.
Scott S Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by angbez33 Then this weekend my college girl friends came into town and a lot of drama happened with them including me almost taking them to the airport to go back to NYC. I was friends with them way before him obviously and he didn’t know how much background stuff was building up and it all came out. I think the actions of how my friends and I acted scared him and put questions in his head. If you don't mind my asking, what exactly happened?
tattoomytoe Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S If you don't mind my asking, what exactly happened? DITTO!
Author angbez33 Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 My girlfriends who I have lived with for the last 4 years came to DC I took them to a bar in Adams Morgan but before we went we did body shots of tiquila and even took some in the car with us. Then we got to the bar opened up a tab and drank some more...well about 230am they disappeared on our walk to another bar. My boyfriend and i were waiting outside looking around for them but didnt see them. Well we looked around and they were trying to get back into the bar we had come from the bouncers didnt let them in and i went over saying guys come on lets go. I turned to talk to my bf and they disappeared again. At this time my 10 guy friends came out of the bar and there was a fist fight. When i saw my guy friends getting hit i jumped in to "help" my bf got me out of the fight and in the long run the fight was over in a min or so and my guy friends went to get thier cars out of the parking garage. My bf and I looked and looked for my girl friends didnt find them got the car found them getting in a taxi at 330am with some guy i jumped out of the car and ran after the taxi ( they dont even know what town i live in, 20 min drive from dc) so i got the taxi and yelled at them for disappearing well we all fought. Got in my bf's car and yelled and yelled the whole way home and said very very mean things when we all got back to the house...my girl friends hooked up with two of my guy friends and i called them sluts. Basically all hell let loose and we were screaming and i tried to tell them to leave my condo. In the middle of all this my bf was trying to stop us all from yelling and really couldnt. I was yelling about how one of them was dating this guy who i hate (she is dating the guy who was my brothers best man in his wedding...then after only 4 months of marriage knew full well my sister in law was having sex with her boss and this guy never told my brother) Just all of our past came out infront of my bf. I know no one wants to see their gf act this way and I can tell you me and them have never fought like this. But i think he was soooo shocked from my horrible outburst.
bluechocolate Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Somehow I just knew that alcohol & a grudge match were on the cards here. I still 'reckon you're just going to have to wait for a few days & then get in touch & take it from there.
tattoomytoe Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 so you showed your ass and suprised your new boyfriend. i agree with BC, let things cool down for a few days, apologize, and start slow.
Author angbez33 Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 Thank you, Ya i think a few days would be good. But this waiting sucks. This is the first time I had ever fell in love.
SoleMate Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 I'm not sure that you and your bf are really a good match. He seems to prefer quieter behavior, whereas you are into public drunkenness, screaming, fist fighting, name calling, and doing things that would embarass a gorilla. He is just getting to know you, and yes, this shocked the h*ck out of him, I am quite sure. You say that this is not typical of you...how can he know? He only knows what he sees. You may have blown your chances with him. If he came on LS for advice, I would recommend that he put some distance between the two of you ASAP.
bluechocolate Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate If he came on LS for advice, I would recommend that he put some distance between the two of you ASAP. I would have said the same thing.
Weird Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 I feel sorry for your boyfriend and I give him mad props for not going insane from that incident. I also agree with SoleMate. If the brother came on here telling me that story I would tell him to RUN. How old are you anyway? Please tell me the number in your handle isn't your age...
Author angbez33 Posted November 17, 2004 Author Posted November 17, 2004 I agree with the last few comments on giving him props to leave. But honestly I have never done that before and would not do that behavior if it was not to my old roommates. I know that is no excuse to act the way i did. But I should have known us girls were going to have problems this weekend with how much tention we were having. Throwing alcohol in the mix was a very very bad idea. From a guys point of view is there a way to prove or atleast show I deserve a second chance? He was trashed infront of me once and i was like i know this is not his normal behavior. I dont think his feelings can shut off in one weekend....or atleast i hope not.
head/heels Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 i think you should just send him a card that says, i am sorry that you had to see that and please realize i had alcohol in me and there was alot of histories colliding and it was really a random and exceptional occurance. he should understand....i think anyway....if you were my girl, i would have grabbed your dumb arse the minute you went for the fight and put her in the car and drove her home and let her dumb arse friends find their way home via calling on cell phone to you or via a taxi to the airport....i wouldnt let her near a fight and i wouldnt let her wait around for a pack of 20 animals decide that they are ready to follow you home... you dropped the ball, but he could have also been a little more protective if he loved you... i know that if my ex would have got near a fight i would have been dragging her out and carrying her to a neutral corner..
Weird Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 maybe you should cut down on your use of the sauce. Just tell the guy you are sorry and prove to him you won't do that type of crap again. I remember the first new years I spent with my ex. She got wasted and made a fool out of herself and I was embarrassed. I was this close to dumping her that night but told her the next day her behaviour really embarrassed me and she felt bad and didn't get like that again around me.
Scott S Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by angbez33 From a guys point of view is there a way to prove or atleast show I deserve a second chance? He was trashed infront of me once and i was like i know this is not his normal behavior. I dont think his feelings can shut off in one weekend....or atleast i hope not. Hopefully after a few days everyone has cooled off a little. In the meantime, a nice card apologizing for the other night, perhaps with some flowers (Yes, some guys DO like those peace offerings as much as the ladies!!). I hope I don't sound sanctimonious here. Like many men, I enjoy my beer, & admit to having been "over-served," as father dear once put it, on many occasions. That notwithstanding, however, I am not a belligerent or combative type of person, & I would be quite put out at someone getting me into a fistfight. I hope you understand not only what did happen, but what could have happened. That is, someone really getting hurt (i.e stabbed) or arrested. One of life's unfortunate facts is that one may end up spending the rest of one's life paying the price for mistakes like that. I do wish you both well, & I hope he will give you another chance.
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