PR08 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 1. Get the heck off your computer. 2. Get out into the real world. 3. Live your life. Wasn't what you were expecting, was it? I truly believe that forums can be spectacular support networks in the first painful days and weeks, but seeing threads on here from people who are still hung-up on their exes two years or more after they were dumped just breaks my heart. There comes a time when you have to throw up your hands, admit that all the thread-starting in the world is never going to yield the elusive answer that everyone so deeply craves, and figure out where you're going from here. As far as we currently know, we only have one shot at life, and every minute that you waste torturing yourself on the internet is a minute you could have spent on living it. Why on earth should you waste a precious second thinking about someone who decided you weren't good enough for them? Why waste a second on someone who thought they could do better than you? Get out and live your life, and sooner than later you'll notice you don't think about them quite so much as you used to. And you know what? When you don't care any more and you've banished them from your mind... well, god knows why, but that's when they tend to show up again. 7
BC1980 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 It's so true that they show back up when you don't care anymore. I've had that happen in the past, and I was so uninterested in the guy by that point. 3
on_the_edge Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 This thread should be bumped to the top every single day
Sugarkane Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I disagree even doing those things usually doesn't get them back.
Author PR08 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Perhaps, but you stand a far, far greater chance by doing that than by sending her flowers or stalking her every move, begging for another shot like some pathetic teenager. It's a broken record now: the whole point is you can never force someone to come back, so having plans or a strategy doesn't matter. The only thing you can salvage is yourself, because the only way of attracting someone back is to move on. Paradoxical, but I know it works, I've seen it work and I've seen enough anecdotal evidence from around the world that it's a cross-cultural thing. 2
Author PR08 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 It's so true that they show back up when you don't care anymore. I've had that happen in the past, and I was so uninterested in the guy by that point. Had it happen, seen it happen, heard about it happening. I've never understood it, but it seems to be a 'thing'.
lylat333 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Not necessarily bad advice, but it's only going to work well with people who have a good understanding of breakups already. I was in the throes of hearbreak when I created an account here a month ago. I don't think hearing, "get off the computer and live your life" would have helped much, I needed to see that someone understood my pain and talk to people about it. Not everyone has a strong support network close to them. I feel being on LS has helped me tremendously, seeing people support each other and having a place to read about so many other cases. Sure, after reading dozens of threads and spendings weeks, months, (years!) you have a far better grasp on matters. If it weren't for being able to spend time here I think I would be a shattered mess. 2
Author PR08 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Not everyone has a strong support network close to them. I feel being on LS has helped me tremendously, seeing people support each other and having a place to read about so many other cases. Exactly, hence me qualifying the advice below it with the fact that I think a place like this is extremely helpful for the first couple of weeks.
lylat333 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Exactly, hence me qualifying the advice below it with the fact that I think a place like this is extremely helpful for the first couple of weeks. Ah, well I did miss that part somehow. My apologies.
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