ls32ssibm Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Met a girl online, just had our first date. Pros: Very pretty. Intelligent. Ambitious. Will have a very good career when finishing school judging by the field (medical). Share some interests, but can't judge this yet. Con: Talks a lot and has a slight valley-girl dialect. Loves talking about herself but didn't show much interest in me. I know the latter is normal for a lot of girls, though. Ironically, my last GF didn't talk enough and was always very quiet to the point it frustrated me. I feel like J.D. from Scrubs taking issue with it. What that turn a lot of you guys off?
MrCastle Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 If it feels like an interview and not a convo then yes, to me it shows lack of interest and I eject. If I'm the only one asking questions, or I ask and she doesn't follow up with "what about you?" then I look for the exit.
bentleychic Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 First date? I say give her a bit more time. She may have been chattery b/c she was nervous. I feel like I talk a lot, but I'll ask BF if he has anything to talk about b/c I feel like I'm doing all the talking and he rarely does. I try to draw him out with specifics questions, etc. to get him talking, but any time I mention rambling or suggest I hush, he gets upset with me and says he loves to hear me ramble. Go figure!
Grumpybutfun Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I am an introvert. Moody and a little grumpy at times. Wife is an extrovert. Happy and full of energy. Life is easy because she amuses me, educates me and keeps me informed on everything that happens in the world and in our families. I sit back and do not have to do a thing except nod. In my humble opinion, not a dealbreaker unless the Valley Girl stuff grates on your nerves. My guess is that she may have been really nervous. Next time, just smile and say, "Would you like to know a little about me?" Luck to you, Grumps
Author ls32ssibm Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) She told me via text she's interested in a second date, and I'm down too. It was a quick coffee date between our obligations before, not enough to get a feel for someone. I'll let you guys know how it goes. One more plus I forgot to add before is that we share pretty much exactly the same political views. Ain't the most important thing but hey it's something. Edited September 4, 2013 by ls32ssibm
bentleychic Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 My best friend turns in to a valley girl when she's intoxicated. It's funny as hell to see this super Southern girl turn in to a valley girl. I couldn't date her. hahaha
spiderowl Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 The talking about herself and not showing much interest in me would turn me off - not because I'm particularly attention seeking but a relationship is a two-way thing. If someone starts out like that, they are likely to carry on like that. It is also a sign of a lack of empathy. However, it's early days and maybe she will be different next time you meet. Just see how you go, I guess. 1
pteromom Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Talks a lot and has a slight valley-girl dialect. Loves talking about herself but didn't show much interest in me. I know the latter is normal for a lot of girls, though. I wouldn't read too much into it after one date. She may be nervous, or she may just really want you to know who she is so she just keeps talking. I'd give it a few dates before bailing if this behavior continues.
Fondue Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 One of the girls I currently am seeing talks a bit "valley" girl-ish. I noticed it a lot the first couple of dates, but then stopped after continuing to see her. It bothered me in the beginning, but once you like the girl, these things you start to disappear once you actually dig her. As far as talking a lot and not asking you questions, I'd give her another chance. Some girls (some people, really), are simply not too good at communicating and being reciprocal. Especially if they are nervous. I think once she gets more conformable with you, and if she still likes you, you'll start to notice that she will be asking you about YOU more. Goodluck!
MrCastle Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Wow so much hate for valley girls. I very much fancy them. Then again I fancy most girls 3
Author ls32ssibm Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Wow so much hate for valley girls. I very much fancy them. Then again I fancy most girls I think most people equate the jib-jabbering of a valley girl with low intelligence. But the girl I just went out with has some brains but it just comes out like verbal diarrhea (Okay, that's an exaggeration), leaving me not sure what to make of it. The voices of girls aren't really what many guys think about. "Hey, that girl is hot". Then you talk to her and it's like "holy ****, why does it sounds like that". That being said, I actually don't mind semi-raspy voices in girls. If I had a choice though, give me a southern accent. If they did mail order brides out of Alabama nobody would be safe.
sigurpol Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Eh, it's one date. Give it another. Sometimes I worry if I talk about myself too much on a date, but I like to make people laugh, so I catch myself talking too much sometimes. Might I add that the latter can be true about anyone? Don't mean to get off topic here, but I can't stand remarks like that. At any rate, you closed in on the second date. Could be nerves with her talking a lot and avoiding any awkward silence? Who knows!
Author ls32ssibm Posted September 9, 2013 Author Posted September 9, 2013 Quick update for you folks; I asked her for Date #2 this past Thursday. She's booked Friday (girlfriends), Saturday (class then girlfriends) and Sunday (football). Immediate red flag. I'm not a total idiot. But then she opens up Monday (tonight) with me. I agree. What the hell. We were scheduled to go on Date #2 tonight, and she backed out last minutes because she was "stuck in traffic" getting home from ice skating. At 7 PM when I know there is no possible way she could be "stuck" where she is, even if there was an accident. I basically broke it off with her. Although she's texting me at the moment letting me know what a jerk I am. According to her, she had no free time over the weekend but I know she told me she went to a bar Saturday night.
loveandstuff Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 I met my boyfriend online and when we went on my first date he talked A LOT! I let it slide because it's a first date. He later revealed to me that he kept talking because he was afraid he'd throw up from being so nervous if he stopped talking. Maybe she had the same issue!
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