melell Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Felt great. Don't want to get back together with my ex. I got asked on a date yesterday, and it made me feel sick to my stomach. The feeling hasn't gone away.
Leegh Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I don't know, but it could be a "gut" feeling that it doesn't feel right. Perhaps you could meet him for lunch or something casual, and maybe your feeling as to why you feel that way will become clearer or perhaps you may want to continue seeing him. 1
Misfortune Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Subconsciously scared of being hurt again probably.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Felt great. Don't want to get back together with my ex. I got asked on a date yesterday, and it made me feel sick to my stomach. The feeling hasn't gone away. I know this line is uttered way too much, but "it's too soon...". The whole crux of the dating game is eventually making yourself quite vulnerable to someone, and in order to best facilitate that you need to be somewhere near to your best and most confident as you begin the even-ish exchange of personal details which will in time spell-out that vulnerability. If your emotional investments have been like the stock market, where you bought at $100 a share X months/years ago, and eventually sold at $53 a share (because you reasonably projected only greater losses from that point forward)... it takes time to get over the feeling that you somehow lost (part of) your investment... and perhaps still more time to fully appreciate that you still have $53 of good emotional money to invest again when you're ready. So yeah... (more) time... 2
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I mean go out for lunch with the guy, what's the harm? You could make a new friend, network, maybe meet someone else, or really like this guy. I wish someone would ask me out on a date! But as the guy I have to do it. I asked one girl on a date and she ignored me. Boo-hoo. 1
JDPT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I couldn't even look at another girl until recently and this is coming from a guy's perspective. I was dumped off a 4 year relationship roughly 4 months ago and for the first time a few days ago a saw a woman and found her so attractive. It took me roughly 4 months or so for my heart to start pumping blood all over me again. This I believe is pretty common. We have been so conditioned to do it ALL with one person that anyone who shows us the slightest affection comes across as creepy often leaving us not knowing how to react to it. I used to say to myself, "wth is wrong with me, I love women, yet I can't even look at one!" truth is I do love women but my mind was so fixed in my ex that I couldn't look at anyone else. However, I'm so glad that I'm start to "feel" again and see that there are also other gorgeous women out there besides my ex. Truth is I've been thinking about this other girl I saw a few days ago and will see her again tomorrow and look forward to it. I have not felt this way in such a long time. 2
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I couldn't even look at another girl until recently and this is coming from a guy's perspective. I was dumped off a 4 year relationship roughly 4 months ago and for the first time a few days ago a saw a woman and found her so attractive. It took me roughly 4 months or so for my heart to start pumping blood all over me again. This I believe is pretty common. We have been so conditioned to do it ALL with one person that anyone who shows us the slightest affection comes across as creepy often leaving us not knowing how to react to it. I used to say to myself, "wth is wrong with me, I love women, yet I can't even look at one!" truth is I do love women but my mind was so fixed in my ex that I couldn't look at anyone else. However, I'm so glad that I'm start to "feel" again and see that there are also other gorgeous women out there besides my ex. Truth is I've been thinking about this other girl I saw a few days ago and will see her again tomorrow and look forward to it. I have not felt this way in such a long time. Woo hoo go you! I'm glad. You are one of my favorite people on here. I wish you luck my friend. 1
JDPT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Woo hoo go you! I'm glad. You are one of my favorite people on here. I wish you luck my friend. Thank you, I'm savoring feeling like this while I continue my recovery and personal growth. I wish you all the best as well.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Thank you, I'm savoring feeling like this while I continue my recovery and personal growth. I wish you all the best as well. Ah yeah, I've been trying to strike up conversation with a pretty girl staying here. I never know what to say, or how to approach her without looking weird lol. She always has her mother around too, since they are staying together. I just want to practice talking to pretty girls when I get back into the wild. I'm going to be a totally different person in the next year. Yuck I'll be 30 too ;_;
JDPT Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Ah yeah, I've been trying to strike up conversation with a pretty girl staying here. I never know what to say, or how to approach her without looking weird lol. She always has her mother around too, since they are staying together. I just want to practice talking to pretty girls when I get back into the wild. I'm going to be a totally different person in the next year. Yuck I'll be 30 too ;_; And I'll be 32 in a few months. Just a tip that may help you, I would go for the mom (no in that sense) but I would win over the mom and then get to work on the daughter which is the ultimate objective. Always win points building good rapport with parents. Show them you are diligent, driven, respectful, kind hearted and all of the above. I always used what I would label as environmental talk. We would talk about anything but her or I, then we can move on to other topics of more interest and take it from there. And as far as pretty girls, I never gauge their outer "prettiness" albeit they may be gorgeous on the outside but I focus on their inner prettiness instead. 1
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 And I'll be 32 in a few months. Just a tip that may help you, I would go for the mom (no in that sense) but I would win over the mom and then get to work on the daughter which is the ultimate objective. Always win points building good rapport with parents. Show them you are diligent, driven, respectful, kind hearted and all of the above. I always used what I would label as environmental talk. We would talk about anything but her or I, then we can move on to other topics of more interest and take it from there. And as far as pretty girls, I never gauge their outer "prettiness" albeit they may be gorgeous on the outside but I focus on their inner prettiness instead. haha her mom seems weird. I think I'm just going to back off from that one. She lives too far away anyways.
Author melell Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 I guess it is just a case of needing to keep handling the little things. I feel fine most of the time, but every now and then something happens and I am like 'oh god this feeling again', like little things I have to tackle that come up and remind me I am still in the moving on process. Better having something come up once every couple of weeks than all day every day though. sigh.
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