Kitchen Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 So I've always had a crush on my best friend who's a girl, and in fact asked her out once too but she was afraid to ruin our friendship at the time. However we get along great, I always make her laugh, her family loves me, and she's told me to my face that she thinks I'm a stud. She recently got dumped by her jackass bf and I feel like I can make something work, as I am also coming out of a bad relationship, so we have something in common. How can I play my cards right so that I can possibly get out of the friend zone and make it work with her?
Moe'sTavern Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 So I've always had a crush on my best friend who's a girl, and in fact asked her out once too but she was afraid to ruin our friendship at the time. However we get along great, I always make her laugh, her family loves me, and she's told me to my face that she thinks I'm a stud. She recently got dumped by her jackass bf and I feel like I can make something work, as I am also coming out of a bad relationship, so we have something in common. How can I play my cards right so that I can possibly get out of the friend zone and make it work with her? Umm, since your both coming out of bad relationships, why not just wait awhile before trying something. One more thing: There is no friend zone. Your either friends with this girl or you don't want to be. 1
Author Kitchen Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Umm' date=' since your both coming out of bad relationships, why not just wait awhile before trying something. One more thing: There is no friend zone. Your either friends with this girl or you don't want to be.[/quote'] Hm, not sure what you mean. I am friends with her, but I also want more.
Author Kitchen Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 I'm going to bump this thread. I really do feel like her and I have great potential, but I understand the concept of losing mystique due to being friends with someone for so long. So, any advice is appreciated. It would be amazing if this works out. At the same time I am not betting all my eggs in this basket because I realize the chances are slim. Still, I'd love to try it out. 1
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Ask her out maybe, be honest but make sure before you do that, you know she is over her boyfriend if you want to make it an easy transition, do day excursions spend time with her, take her to her favourite place, nothing progresses if you dont spend time together so do that one on one and see where it leads you..one thing i have always liked and i know that your best friend may be different is day excursions in the outdoors.....theres something about being under a deep blue sky with water nearby, sharing that with someone special , the beauty and the grace of gods green earth that can turn ordinary to extraordinary if it is the right two people..inspiring of passion.smilin..but that i guess is my happy spot...you never know.....does she like the outdoors what is her favourite place? you better know if you are her best friend...if you dont i would suggest you get to know her and take it form there..good luck....deb 1
Author Kitchen Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Thanks for all replies thus far everyone. I'd bring it up to her but in a non awkward way. I'm worried about this. With a normal girl I just say "hey do you want to get drinks?" and it's understood. In this case it's tricky. What is a non-awkward way? lol
ses Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Ask her to grab a bite to eat at a casual restaurant. Friends go out to eat all the time and it's not a big deal. Relax, and set something up for the daytime. She just got out of a relationship so you have to tread carefully. Watch her body language and don't be too overbearing on the flirting. Beautiful relationships have emerged from close friendships but be ready for the unexpected. Good luck!
soccerrprp Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 kitchen, In the end you need to consider the following: 1. Are you willing to risk losing a friendship with her by pursuing this? If you're feelings are so strong that you are willing to jeopardize your friendship with her, then go after her. 2. Are you (and your gf) ready to get into another relationship so soon after a break-up? Something you need to consider is the "rebound" factor. You have to know if she (and you) is ready to move and start a new, fresh relationship. Ask yourself if she seems ready for a new relationship and is COMPLETELY over her ex. Other than that, the way you can show your feelings on this is to have a heart-to-heart. Remind her just how great you two get along and how you feel that you two would be great as a couple and that there's no better way to begin a relationship than as friends. Just don't over dramatize or over-play your hand. She may still be a little down about her recent break-up.
bubbaganoosh Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I would be on the cautious side because if she just came out of a breakup and when that happens, your feelings just don't go away with the snap of her fingers. No doubt she will have lingering feelings for this guy no matter how bad the break up was especially if she was on the receiving end if it so her mind won't be real clear. If you do ask her to go have a drink or lunch, keep it light and try to keep the conversation on something other than the guy that hurt her. Yes it will come up, if so, listen real good and you'll be able to get a handle on whether she still likes the guy. If that happens, your chances are mighty slim until she gets over it. Then you can talk to her about her feelings. Remember, time heals all wounds.
Author Kitchen Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Ok so thanks guys for addressing possible concerns. I think enough time has passed and both of us are ready to move on from our respective relationships. To answer another concern about risking the friendship. a) If I get a "no", then I know it won't be awkward, cause I've already gotten a "no" in the past from her, and it's been fine. b) If we end up dating and break up, yes the friendship will be lost, but I think it's better to try and fail than to never have known. I do have a question. I'm planning on asking her by surprising her at the end of her work day outside of her building and then taking to a nice spot, and asking her. How does that plan sound? Also, I know she has to get to work early tomorrow so she'll be a bit sleepier by the end of the day. Is that a bad sign? Should I not ask her out if she's sleepy? I kind of just want to do it instead of keep waiting and pushing it back. It's making me anxious! So, thoughts anyone? Is it better to ask a girl out if she's tired at the end of a long work day, or maybe on a weekend when she's refreshed? Or should it not matter and should I just get it over with? Thanks!
todreaminblue Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Ok so thanks guys for addressing possible concerns. I think enough time has passed and both of us are ready to move on from our respective relationships. To answer another concern about risking the friendship. a) If I get a "no", then I know it won't be awkward, cause I've already gotten a "no" in the past from her, and it's been fine. b) If we end up dating and break up, yes the friendship will be lost, but I think it's better to try and fail than to never have known. I do have a question. I'm planning on asking her by surprising her at the end of her work day outside of her building and then taking to a nice spot, and asking her. How does that plan sound? Also, I know she has to get to work early tomorrow so she'll be a bit sleepier by the end of the day. Is that a bad sign? Should I not ask her out if she's sleepy? I kind of just want to do it instead of keep waiting and pushing it back. It's making me anxious! So, thoughts anyone? Is it better to ask a girl out if she's tired at the end of a long work day, or maybe on a weekend when she's refreshed? Or should it not matter and should I just get it over with? Thanks! I would do the weekend thing refreshed and able to think clearly......best wishes...deb
kendallk Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Eeeek. I feel bad for your ex gf. That sucks to find out your bf has had a huge crush on a girl for awhile whilst he is dating you.
Author Kitchen Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Eeeek. I feel bad for your ex gf. That sucks to find out your bf has had a huge crush on a girl for awhile whilst he is dating you. Wasn't a huge crush. Crush is a simple term for "thought was cute". When I was dating my ex gf, there was no other girl on my mind.
Author Kitchen Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 I would do the weekend thing refreshed and able to think clearly......best wishes...deb Thanks! So I have decided to do the weekend thing. Small problem with that is that she lives far from me. And since I won't be meeting her after work, I would have to drive an hour to ask her out. I don't mind doing that at all. But is it going to look creepy or as if I'm desperate or coming on too strong? I am thinking of driving down to her place tonight because I know she is free. And then perhaps taking her out somewhere local and asking her finally. But yea, she knows I live an hour away, so my main concern is that it will look desperate. What do you all think?
todreaminblue Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Thanks! So I have decided to do the weekend thing. Small problem with that is that she lives far from me. And since I won't be meeting her after work, I would have to drive an hour to ask her out. I don't mind doing that at all. But is it going to look creepy or as if I'm desperate or coming on too strong? I am thinking of driving down to her place tonight because I know she is free. And then perhaps taking her out somewhere local and asking her finally. But yea, she knows I live an hour away, so my main concern is that it will look desperate. What do you all think? i dont think its desperate i think it shows initiative and interest..i think you should..best wishes........deb......
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