jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 so basically my question is would it be a bad idea to establish some kind of contact with my ex after nearly 2years apart?? (not to try and get her back) just friendly contact. I have a feeling what people might say but I thought I would ask and see.
JPMC Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 There are a billion people in this world that you could be friends with. Why would you want to cut open that scar? Not only for your sake, but theirs? What good would it do? Absolutely nothing. So, in short, a horrible idea. 1
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 There are a billion people in this world that you could be friends with. Why would you want to cut open that scar? Not only for your sake, but theirs? What good would it do? Absolutely nothing. So, in short, a horrible idea. true... thats exactly what a thought people would say. a dont see how it would do any harm tho? I know fine well shes over me so I dont think it would open any scars.... I myt be wrong tho.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 People don't know how they feel until it happens. Women tend to always have a connection though. I know whenever I saw my exs I was sad, there would never be a way for me to establish a friendship. You can't go from getting it on to being pals. It's plain strange
Misfortune Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 true... thats exactly what a thought people would say. a dont see how it would do any harm tho? I know fine well shes over me so I dont think it would open any scars.... I myt be wrong tho. There have been people who've rekindled relationships after 10-20 years of no contact. You'll never know for sure until you're directly in front of each other. I wouldn't do it unless I want to be with my ex intimately. There are tons of people that I can be friends with if need be, my ex wouldn't be one them.
joe86 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I thought that about an ex but only because my latest relationship ended. I hoped that pervious girl would stay in touch, but she didn't. I didn't give her space when she left & she went total NC. I do wonder what she's up to now, but equally, unless its initiated by the person that let's go, maybe they want to keep it this way. I wouldn't do it.
Apparition Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Why do you want to contact her? She may have a new man and be getting on with her life. I wouldn't disturb her if I were you. And even if she doesn't, there's no reason for you to contact her really.
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 People don't know how they feel until it happens. Women tend to always have a connection though. I know whenever I saw my exs I was sad, there would never be a way for me to establish a friendship. You can't go from getting it on to being pals. It's plain strange fare enough.... I know people that are still good friends with thr exs and are in relationships so it defo can be done.
Jiminy Cricket Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 it was 2 years, no harm in getting in touch. i'm sure the wounds have healed. 1
Dorota Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 If you no longer have feelings for your ex, I don't see what harm it could do. I re-established a relationship with an ex after about 5 years of breaking up. He's married with his 3rd child on the way and it doesn't hurt me to know this. I am really happy for him. It's nice to talk to someone who knew me from a different time in my life and knew me in different ways than most of my friends do. I say if you can do it without opening up old wounds then I don't see any harm. 1
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Why do you want to contact her? She may have a new man and be getting on with her life. I wouldn't disturb her if I were you. And even if she doesn't, there's no reason for you to contact her really. she could but I dont think she does... the main reason we split was because she is really just wanting to concentrate on her career shes a marine biologist and is away alot on expeditions. and as for why... basically I just want to see how shes doing and if things are going well for her.
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 and im not 100% goina contact her... I just wanted see what other peoples options would be.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 fare enough.... I know people that are still good friends with thr exs and are in relationships so it defo can be done. Oh yeah it can be done, I've seen it myself although it is incredibly tricky and they'd most likely have been better off as friends in the first place rather than lovers x 1
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 The question is, why bother? Honestly WHY? There are over seven billion people on this planet whom you could be friends with. 99.9% of whom you've not had previous negative history so why go back to "check in." I don't care if you're over her or think she's totally over you, no one knows for sure how something really feels until it kicks you in the forehead. If you truly feel an overwhelming desire to contact her again after all this time, ask yourself why you can't truly let go? No, I don't mean "let go" as in you still have feelings for her, but letting go as in leaving her the hell alone. We are not meant to maintain contact with every human being we have ever known. Edit: can I just say, and really not to be mean and I know this is teh intrawebz and all but with your grammar and spelling the fact that this ex of yours is a flipping marine biologist is just...well... all the more reason to leave that poor woman alone. am not even goina justify that with an answer.... to even make a snide comment sayin something like that is petty. thats like basically sayin cause you dont approve of my grammar that I dont deserve to be with someone as inteligent as my ex. lol everyone's in titled to an opinion though so its all good. #PMA
fancy feast Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 If you feel like you can handle it, then have at it. 1
Author jayy23 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Who said anything about you "deserving" your anyone? As far as I know, your intentions were completely friendly and 'pure'. My point was, if you're just trying to be friends, most friends enjoy being able to communicate and converse with one another on an intellectual level and it would appear you two are vastly different in such an area. Thus, I don't see such a friendship lasting for any length of time. Maybe it was a bit harsh but I'm not sorry about it as it was really something worth noting. I was with her for five years we had plenty to talk about. as I said its all good your more than intilteld to you opinion.
Misfortune Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Just go for it. It's been a while and you have nothing to lose from it. Either she responds or she doesn't.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 You could always check her Facebook page to see how she's doing. But if you are really over it, then go for it I guess.
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