irc333 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 ...women still can't be straight with ya. lol I met this woman at a local get together. She has no boyfriend. I asked her out, and she says, "I'm currently not looking to date anyone nor in a relationship, but thanks for the offer as I'm currently dating someone and I don't think that would respectful for him to be going out with me to local area night spots." Then she thanked me for the invite. You see the flaw in her wording there? I wonder if women know they'll even be caught in a lie? IT was kind of funny, because prior to this, I had asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said said, "Does it look like I have a boyfriend here?"
nescafe1982 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Where's the lie? She told you she's dating someone (but not in a relationship with him) and that she's not looking to date additional people. I think you're reading into it too much. Were these her actual words? 4
iris219 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 She's not looking to date anyone because she IS dating someone. Dating someone doesn't mean she wants a relationship or has a boyfriend. I don't see where she lied.
Author irc333 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 She's not looking to date anyone because she IS dating someone. Dating someone doesn't mean she wants a relationship or has a boyfriend. I don't see where she lied. She told me she didn't have a boyfriend earlier.
Moe'sTavern Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Seems like a very long-winded no to me; she definitely could've condensed that. But anyway, I don't see the lie either. And also dating someone doesn't automatically mean exclusivity.
fanine Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 She told me she didn't have a boyfriend earlier. Yes she doesn't have a boyfriend, but is dating and obviously doesn't want to date two people at the same time. Just because she is dating someone doesn't mean that guy is her boyfriend. It could well just be early stages. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Seems like a very long-winded no to me; she definitely could've condensed that. But anyway' date=' I don't see the lie either. And also dating someone doesn't automatically mean exclusivity.[/quote'] Yeah, women have this wierd hang up with dating only one person at a time as if it's "disrespectful". How can that be? It's not like you're a "boyfriend/girlfriend" couple If she was actually in a romantic relationship, I could see that...but I think the whole, "I'm seeing someone right now" is an easy "out" for most people.
fanine Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yeah, women have this wierd hang up with dating only one person at a time as if it's "disrespectful". How can that be? It's not like you're a "boyfriend/girlfriend" couple If she was actually in a romantic relationship, I could see that...but I think the whole, "I'm seeing someone right now" is an easy "out" for most people. When I was dating I would only see one person at a time. That is what I felt comfortable with. I would say most of my male and female friends are the same. Fact is too often I would not have that much spare time, particularly as I worked shifts and did, and still do have a very busy lifestyle. So maybe I would only have three actual evenings a week. At least one evening I would like to see friends, maybe another just have an evening at home watching tv. So if I was dating I would put all my energy and interest into the one person and would see how it went, as I would have only one or two evenings a week to actually meet up with them anyway. If there had been more than one at a time that would have been tricky! But I do also feel it is something I could not do.
Grumpybutfun Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 So she has a boyfriend but isn't dating anyone but isn't looking to date anyone or be in a relationship? :lmao::lmao: I am going right now to buy my wife diamonds...I am so glad I do not have to deal with this crap anymore. Grumps 1
SoaringPhenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Ok let me get this straight you are upset with this woman for wanting to be what she views as respectful of the person she is currently dating (serious or not)? And you are also upset with her for being honest with you even if she was wordy about it? So just because she turned you down means she was lying to you? I'm sorry but this does not add up. Your thinking is flawed.
TB Rhine Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I think the wording is a little strange. It looks as though maybe she has a standard cut-and-paste-style response that she gives out (either "I'm not looking to date anyone" or "I'm currently dating someone") and tried to alter it, but forgot to get rid of some of the redundant language.
Author irc333 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 More specifically she said she wasn't looking to date nor be in a relationship, but yet she is currently dating.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Seems like a very long-winded no to me; she definitely could've condensed that. But anyway' date=' I don't see the lie either. And also dating someone doesn't automatically mean exclusivity.[/quote'] On this board many act as if one good date means a relationship. 2
carhill Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 OP, the important part is that she doesn't wish to date *you*. BTDT, many times. At some point, it (that or any flavor of rejection) stops being relevant beyond the moment. Ideally, it and she should be long forgotten. TBH, I can't remember if you've been married. If you haven't, it will cure you of all that is confusing/frustrating/annoying right now. Trust me. Ignore female brain teasers. Focus on the meat and potatoes. Good luck. 4
Imajerk17 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) irc, bro, the theme of this thread is almost EXACTLY the same of the theme of about half of your other threads. This woman reacted to you the same way that many other women you've asked out reacted to you: she gave you a less than airtight excuse that more than anything, reveals a lack of interest and a desire to keep things from being awkward. I don't want to hate on you or anything. There's only one common denominator in all this though.... Anyway, if I understand correctly, you met her at a Meetup and that is the only context which you've interacted with her. She hasn't given you her number or anything. She doesn't owe you anything really. She is allowed to say no and give an excuse to save face, even one that might be an outright lie. Until you take some responsibility for not making a connection with these women, you are going to find interacting with women to keep on being a rough ride for you. Is this the "sunscreen" girl? Edited September 4, 2013 by Imajerk17 9
pteromom Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Sometimes it is difficult to say "Sorry, but I'm not interested." Who knows if she was being straight or not? The only thing that matters is she wasn't interested. So you just move on... 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 ...women still can't be straight with ya. lol I met this woman at a local get together. She has no boyfriend. I asked her out, and she says, "I'm currently not looking to date anyone nor in a relationship, but thanks for the offer as I'm currently dating someone and I don't think that would respectful for him to be going out with me to local area night spots. You see the flaw in her wording there? No, all we see is the indisputable fact that you, while supposedly quoting someone else, put your own words into the would-be quote. Why on earth would she be "going out with me* " (*which is, of course, herself ) Funny that we here at LS have zero idea whether this supposed woman even exists, let alone what she said... but we've caught you in an obvious lie.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Yeah, women have this wierd hang up with dating only one person at a time as if it's "disrespectful". How can that be? It's not like you're a "boyfriend/girlfriend" couple If she was actually in a romantic relationship, I could see that...but I think the whole, "I'm seeing someone right now" is an easy "out" for most people. Maybe she just doesn't want to date you. Most people don't want to be blunt and say that they don't like you. 2
xxoo Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Would you rather she say, "No, thank you. I'm looking to date someone, but not you" ? 6
nerd Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Would you rather she say, "No, thank you. I'm looking to date someone, but not you" ? yes, absolutely. How else am I supposed to fill in my spreadsheet indicating the number of chicks I ask out who reject me because they are seeing someone else vs are simply not interested? Because of the lack of transparency, I have no way of differentiating the two, especially because most girls (not real women) use the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse, or "I'm too busy to date" or some such garbage, when that's most likely not the real reason. As it is, if anyone ever did say those things and really mean it, I wouldn't believe them.
carhill Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Would you rather she say, "No, thank you. I'm looking to date someone, but not you" ? Yes, and many women have, to myself. Stung in the moment but I thanked them later, as it killed any attraction I might have had for them. Gift. 1
PJKino Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Half? I say more like 85%. Minimum. Really, OP. How can you not understand that the reactions you are experiencing are reactions to YOU and not demonstrations of the woman's character? I've said this before, and now I'll say it again: The fact that you spend time here picking apart the behavior of women you don't know at all speaks volumes about YOU. Whatever drives you to do this, and to feel like it's "normal" to do so, is part of what renders you pretty much undateable. ehh while the the op is judgmental and horrible at social cues and needs the word NO stamped on his head to realize hes being rejected i doubt the fact he rips into these women on a mesage board afterwards is the sole reoasn for his rejections.Is it a character dlaw? sure but tons of people have thme who are in relationships These women could just not be physcially attracted to him as to why they say no
Imajerk17 Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) Irc, it would be more productive for you to instead think about how the interaction between you and this girl actually went. What did you and she talk about? How was she responding to you? I do know that guys who have girlfriends, got their girlfriends because they have social skills. And they got their social skills by taking responsibility for their interactions in a way that the OP does not. When an interaction went bad for these guys they considered what they could do differently next time. They didn't write thread after thread after thread picking apart the woman's "strange" behaviors... Edited September 5, 2013 by Imajerk17 4
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Where's the lie? She told you she's dating someone (but not in a relationship with him) and that she's not looking to date additional people. I think you're reading into it too much. Were these her actual words? Irc looks too much into everything. This post right here sums it all up. it makes perfect sense to me what she said. When it comes down to it why does it matter? SHE ISNT INTERESTED IN YOU. The end. Seems pretty simple to me.
scorpiogirl Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 irc, bro, the theme of this thread is almost EXACTLY the same of the theme of about half of your other threads. This woman reacted to you the same way that many other women you've asked out reacted to you: she gave you a less than airtight excuse that more than anything, reveals a lack of interest and a desire to keep things from being awkward. I don't want to hate on you or anything. There's only one common denominator in all this though.... Anyway, if I understand correctly, you met her at a Meetup and that is the only context which you've interacted with her. She hasn't given you her number or anything. She doesn't owe you anything really. She is allowed to say no and give an excuse to save face, even one that might be an outright lie. Until you take some responsibility for not making a connection with these women, you are going to find interacting with women to keep on being a rough ride for you. Is this the "sunscreen" girl? I agree with you so much. I'm sorry OP but your threads all make you sound like you feel you're owed a date or relationship. I wouldn't date you either due to the sense of entitlement and the sulking that happens when someone says thanks but no thanks. They see something in you initially that they like but something about you in person turns them off. Figure out what it is about YOU, not them. 2
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