stormer1092 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Well I guess I'll just say it. I treated this girl like a damn queen and she was my life. She strung me along after the breakup until she got into her rebound relationship. 1 month... 1 month of pure ****. I was just stupid. Nothing but lies and depression. I want to hate her so bad but I can't bring myself to say I hate her. Everything she's done is just down right f'ed up in the head. I've been working on myself and going no contact but it still hurts allot but what can you do? I guess time will tell now. Anyone else have the same experience?
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Well I guess I'll just say it. I treated this girl like a damn queen and she was my life. She strung me along after the breakup until she got into her rebound relationship. 1 month... 1 month of pure ****. I was just stupid. Nothing but lies and depression. I want to hate her so bad but I can't bring myself to say I hate her. Everything she's done is just down right f'ed up in the head. I've been working on myself and going no contact but it still hurts allot but what can you do? I guess time will tell now. Anyone else have the same experience? I think we've all been strung along to some degree during a break up. All you can do is ignore her, don't look at what she's doing, don't take calls/texts certainly don't make them and find new things to do. When you feel it creeping up on you - go to the gym. It is a very good way to burn off rage and upset. It may not sound like it but it is. They say behind every muscular man is a heart break xxx 2
hopefulfaerie Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me almost a year ago. I still cringe when I think about it. It really took a toll on my self esteem. I worked out like a mad woman. I met someone else even better. But that didn't work out because I am here licking those wounds now. I know how awful it feels to have someone waste your time and let you become emotionally invested just because they are so insecure that they need us as a backup. Some people are just heartless and cruel!!!! I know it's a cliche but we really are better off and we deserve people that wouldn't dream of treating our feelings so carelessly. stay strong! We are here for you! 2
hopefulfaerie Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 By the way, YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!!! She is!!!!! All you are guilty of is caring about someone and treating her like a queen. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! Unfortunately you got burned but she can NEVER take away the true bravery of showing her your heart! It takes a strong and secure man (and woman) to do that. Just sayin 3
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I'll guess I'll throw my story I said I billion times on here. I got strung along for a whole YEAR! The girl was afraid of being alone because her new boyfriend jumped into a relationship. So she kept her second place trophy around. Guy starts hitting her up on facebook. Then she is suddenly not in love with me, wants a break, then during the break has sex with him and says she wants to be with him, more or less. She actually said she wishes she could have both of us, but if she had to choose it was the new guy. It sucks, it's degrading, it makes you sick, it KILLS your self esteem. So now I do self esteem building things, like the gym as mummy said. I'm staying at a fitness spa kicking my weight loss into over drive. Just take care of yourself. Your ex is selfish, we don't deserve selfish. Stay Strong! 2
hopefulfaerie Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I'll guess I'll throw my story I said I billion times on here. I got strung along for a whole YEAR! The girl was afraid of being alone because her new boyfriend jumped into a relationship. So she kept her second place trophy around. Guy starts hitting her up on facebook. Then she is suddenly not in love with me, wants a break, then during the break has sex with him and says she wants to be with him, more or less. She actually said she wishes she could have both of us, but if she had to choose it was the new guy. It sucks, it's degrading, it makes you sick, it KILLS your self esteem. So now I do self esteem building things, like the gym as mummy said. I'm staying at a fitness spa kicking my weight loss into over drive. Just take care of yourself. Your ex is selfish, we don't deserve selfish. Stay Strong! Well said!!! Exactly!!!! Totally selfish!!! 1
bubbaganoosh Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 If I were you, I'd count my blessings. She gave you a freebie preview of the type of girl she is. She only thinks of herself and doesn't care who gets stepped on for her to get what she wants. I wouldn't waste any more energy on her. Besides sooner or later, what comes around, goes around and when it does, she'll get the idea of what it's like to get what she gives. 3
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Well said!!! Exactly!!!! Totally selfish!!! Also I'm guessing manipulative too. People of this caliber want nothing more than to look good in other peoples eyes. They will make you believe it is all your fault. They will point out things that never mattered to begin with, one of my favorite "We don't even like the same music! How are we even together?!" Funny I remember showing you like 40% of the bands you like now. Ignore these people. They are a plague, a virus, a disease. They care not about anyone. They cared because it made them feel good, but not in a healthy way. They care only for themselves. They turn their tails in hardships. Trust me this girl did you a favor. I hope you didn't waste 5 years of your life like I did. 5
KCCK Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I feel you. happened to me a month ago... i treated my ex of 2 years like a queen, trying to make her happy all the time.. but the moment i was down, just graduated and having a tough time looking for a job and within 2 weeks time, she dump me for another guy.. the reason was she no longer love me and felt that I no longer care for her.. i told her i was having a hard time but to no avail.. since then, I decided to just let go and move on.. finding a good job and getting a good career in life....
robbysurfs Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) dude...that just happened to me you are not alone read this some of the responses helped me...Its hard to wear your heart on your sleeve and have you expectations crushed. Its unfortunate but people have the right to change their mind about someone fall in and out of love with people. You have be grateful you can love and give it in grand fashion. Do you man...pray for acceptance and grow from this you will forget her and she will burn in your wake. Because one day when her party is over she realize the great guy she left.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/421976-nice-guys-finish-last-rant#post5186399 Edited September 5, 2013 by robbysurfs 2
Lokie Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Oh Stormer, I hear you. It is super painful. I agree about getting exercise, and also, please be gentle with yourself. Be gentle like you would with a baby or puppy. We are hear to listen when it gets too intense. I was with someone for six years while he tried to stay clean and sober. He was poor, losing his teeth, skinny, etc. - then, it finally happened and his sobriety stuck. He started making good money again, bought cars, got his teeth fixed then traded me in for a new girlfriend. Found out later that he had been "dating" other women when we were still together. I survived. We live and learn. Big hug to you!
Author stormer1092 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Hey thanks everyone. Now she's saying I treated her like **** and never made her happy. Oh jeez... I know thats a lie. Sucks I still love her tho.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Hey thanks everyone. Now she's saying I treated her like **** and never made her happy. Oh jeez... I know thats a lie. Sucks I still love her tho. You shouldn't even be knowing how she feels or thinks. She'll say anything at this point. Some of them use hatred to justify their actions. Others sugar coat it to alleviate guilt. So pick which flavor of BS you like If you don't go NC. I can only imagine the garbage my ex would be feeding me.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 You shouldn't even be knowing how she feels or thinks. She'll say anything at this point. Some of them use hatred to justify their actions. Others sugar coat it to alleviate guilt. So pick which flavor of BS you like If you don't go NC. I can only imagine the garbage my ex would be feeding me. I only contacted her because I need to get some stuff from her house. Other then that I did no contact for just shy of a month. The use of hatred is only fooling herself not me. I know its BS I'm smart enough to see it. The really funny thing is that she hopped into a rebound already.
Trying2MakeIt Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) Thing is some people are just narcissistic. Plain selfish and self centered. She had the right to go her own path and change her mind; yet in NO WAY she had the right to Disrespect and String you along. That is what she did. The same happened to me. From reflecting , insecure people need secure people to make them feel validated. Yet give her now what she wants. A chance to see what Life is Completely without You. That means complete Non Contact. She treated your Relationship like it Never existed by her actions; so thats see how she copes with you being Nonexistent in her Life. Trust, folks like her, my ex, and many exs on this board are codependents. There relationships will not work because mechanically inside they are not working. They are broken and unhappy people. She will go from headache to heartache, all the time pretending to others she has it together...until she comes down for a hard crash. Then her like many others have there epiphany ....I've been a Horrible Person. By that time you would have healed and no longer need there empowerment to be Empowered. Good Luck Edited September 5, 2013 by Trying2MakeIt
Wings Of Love Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I think that's what my ex is doing right now. Wanting me out of his life one minute only to pull me back in the next. Well I'll be damned if I let another man do that to me again. It sucks, but we have to stay strong and respect ourselves. It amazes me how much a person changes after the breakup though. That's what hurts the most. 1
radiodarcy Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Yup. After he dumped me he told me he still wanted to be friends. I was still crazy in love with him and as much as I knew I couldn't handle it - - I agreed to it because I always wanted to do what I could to make him happy. But when he started telling me about the girls he was dating it was just too hard for me to hear so I went no contact for like a year. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. Because within the year I learned he had a girlfriend who was pregnant with his kid. Did it sting? Of course. But had I not gone NC when I did, I would have been in much MUCH worse shape. In fact - - I ran into him a few months ago and felt - - nothing. I just didn't have the inclination to emotionally invest in him anymore. People who want to string you along like that tend to be insecure and need the attention. In staying NC, you're taking the power back and doing what's best for you. And in the long run, you'll be in a much better place than she is now... 1
Author stormer1092 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Thing is some people are just narcissistic. Plain selfish and self centered. She had the right to go her own path and change her mind; yet in NO WAY she had the right to Disrespect and String you along. That is what she did. The same happened to me. From reflecting , insecure people need secure people to make them feel validated. Yet give her now what she wants. A chance to see what Life is Completely without You. That means complete Non Contact. She treated your Relationship like it Never existed by her actions; so thats see how she copes with you being Nonexistent in her Life. Trust, folks like her, my ex, and many exs on this board are codependents. There relationships will not work because mechanically inside they are not working. They are broken and unhappy people. She will go from headache to heartache, all the time pretending to others she has it together...until she comes down for a hard crash. Then her like many others have there epiphany ....I've been a Horrible Person. By that time you would have healed and no longer need there empowerment to be Empowered. Good Luck I couldn't of said it any better. The thing is I know this about her, I know her better then anyone. The whole codependent thing makes perfect sense. I was her source of happiness and when I got depressed she became unhappy. It makes perfect sense. But I don't need a woman to feel empowered.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 I think that's what my ex is doing right now. Wanting me out of his life one minute only to pull me back in the next. Well I'll be damned if I let another man do that to me again. It sucks, but we have to stay strong and respect ourselves. It amazes me how much a person changes after the breakup though. That's what hurts the most. Yea its like they become a stranger overnight. I'm not changing at all.. Just improving on what I have.
Wings Of Love Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Yea its like they become a stranger overnight. I'm not changing at all.. Just improving on what I have. Exactly. I look at my ex now and my only thought is "Who are you?". He has changed beyond recognition, become someone spiteful and uncaring. I can't help thinking it's an act, but that's not for me to worry about. I'm doing the same as you; improving things while remaining true to myself. Our ex partners may not have loved us the way we are, but someone else will.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Exactly. I look at my ex now and my only thought is "Who are you?". He has changed beyond recognition, become someone spiteful and uncaring. I can't help thinking it's an act, but that's not for me to worry about. I'm doing the same as you; improving things while remaining true to myself. Our ex partners may not have loved us the way we are, but someone else will. Agreed. Still hard to see her do this to herself. The whole codependent thing. But its not my problem to worry about anymore. I'm still betting one day she will come running back. But I know now she needs to be on her own to get better.
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