I keep reminding myself of the negatives but I still want to break NC

[May72]

I just want to call him so bad and ask to meet up so we can talk it out. It's been a month so he should be over any bad feelings right? Because I know I am. I went through all the anger and whatnot and at the end of the day I know if he asks me I'd go back to him. It hurts so much that he's still the same nice guy with everyone else and I'm the only one hrs acting so cold and distant to. It makes me feel as though I was the one who messed up when it was actually him.

 

Guys please talk me out of this

[joe86]

I'm in a similar boat, apart from she left me. I didn't do anything wrong, she just wasn't happy in herself.

 

I don't know how long she'd thought about ending it for, the day after she text saying she was worried she made a mistake, so maybe it was a rushed/snap decision.

 

None of that matters. They made the decision to leave us. They know us, they know how we would treat them and therefore what they will leave behind. If they can still move on, that's their problem, they don't want us, and if they did, they would need to prove it to apologise.

 

I still hate accepting this, but I'm certain it is the best way to think about this situation.

 

 

She told me she didn't know if it was a mistake, but knew it would take time to discover that. How much space/time is the one question I can't answer & I hate it. She said she'd like to meet for a coffee soon, but was that generic 'I'll ease the breakup for both of us with this' line. None of these kind of things do us any good because they have the answers and we ask the questions

[May72]

You're right :/

He knows how I treat him and what I have to offer (basically almost everything from sex, great cook, intellectual conversations, emotional support), but he still chose to leave me because of one thing: Im not outgoing enough for him (says the guy who is also reserved himself). If knowing all that I can offer, and he still wants to leave me, what else can I say?

 

I know everyone says that if he wants me, he'd call, but I guess that's the only gray area that's making me hold onto hope. The reason is because he is a very prideful person. Even if he wants me back, he'd probably think I'm over him by now and wouldn't risk looking pathetic by contacting me after what he has done. I also don't want to break contact for the fourth time and risk having him spit out the words, "You haven't move on yet?"

 

You're also right about them having all the answers and us the questions. I hate asking if he still misses or loves me anymore.

 

I hate being in the dumpee situation..

[joe86]

You've just gone over my exact situation. Is he a Leo?

 

I've found a lot of 'help' can I say, in star sign personality traits. As a Leo she is incredibly proud and has huge emotional defences (linked to things she's not told me details about I think)

 

I'd like to know how it feels to not be in a situation where I'm not chasing, so purely on the thought I know she knows what she gets with me, I'm really trying to stay strong & not contact her.

[May72]

You've just gone over my exact situation. Is he a Leo?

 

I've found a lot of 'help' can I say, in star sign personality traits. As a Leo she is incredibly proud and has huge emotional defences (linked to things she's not told me details about I think)

 

I'd like to know how it feels to not be in a situation where I'm not chasing, so purely on the thought I know she knows what she gets with me, I'm really trying to stay strong & not contact her.

 

He's actually a libra, which is surprising because I'm a libra too but we're completely opposites! I don't see anything wrong with voicing my feelings and opinions whereas he keeps a lot of things to himself and sees feelings as a weakness.

 

AGH youre right, deep down I know a month is not anywhere near being ready. I just don't get why I can go weeks completely feeling that I'm over him, just to be back in this mindset of needing his validation. It's been a bad week..

[Blastoplast]

A month isn't enough time to talk again, whether it's been 3 months or 3 years time. Year and a half later for me and I haven't contacted my EX in about 6 months, outside of a brief text or two.