Inspiteofrselves Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Long story short: my bf of three years with whom I talked marriage, cheated on me once, "fooling around" on tour... Stopped the while thing a few minutes in and told me during a really rough spot, I reacted TERRIBLY and he left. I did not give him space for 6 months and cried a ****ton while he was confused. I found out he was seeing someone else, but didn't tell me when I asked directly bc he didn't want to hurt me. He's been fooling around with this girl for a few months, and as of last month, it seems they are casually dating. I saw him a bit before that when I asked him to get his stuff and we got ice cream laughed cried and said we were gonna see more of each other. I found out about the girl effort we could hang, went nc for a month and sent a text on day 30, appologizing for having been hard on him during the break up, telling him I am sorry if I made him feel not good enough, and that I missed his friendship. He texted back four days later on my bday a really long text... Basically "sorry. We lost sight of each other. I appreciate and respect u. Ur amazing. Have to move toward positivity. We"re "different" I want to and will call" I said simply, thanks for the bday wishes, you're welcome to call if you'd like. He hasn't called. It's been almost 2 weeks. Jewish holidays are coming up. I'm not Jewish, and he's not religious but his family is very very Jewish . To the point I was looking at converting. I really miss the tradition and I am feeling sentimental. I just wanted to send him a text that says "happy Jew-year! Don't forget to call your dad :)" is this a bad idea? Will it push him farther towards this other girl who has no issues right now? I feel like this is the man for me. I truly forgive him, recognize my wrongs and have worked hard to correct them... I know it may take years or maybe never happen.... But like with the rest of my life I have to be moving in the direction of what I want, and I know my heart wants him. Your time and advice is appreciated
lylat333 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 To be honest, looking in from the outside it doesn't even seem like he's someone you should be pursuing. Not only did he cheat on you, but you never allowed yourself to heal from it since you continued to be in contact for a whopping 6 months. His text seemed to give a very clear indication that he's not really interested in you, but that he enjoys having you on the hook. "We lost sight of each other"... "have to move toward positivity"... "We're different" and then, "I want to and will call." wth? If he wants to call you, why doesn't he? He revels in you pining after him. To top things off, he's seeing someone else. You really need time away from him, i.e., NC. I think you might be amazed at how you feel after cutting yourself off for a while and get to living without him. I hate to say this but it's hard for me to imagine he even has much respect for you at this point (despite what he says), you've forgiven him for all he's done and now you're positively reinforcing him keeping you at his beck and call while he's seeing someone else. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 This is really bad, do not text him. Why would you? He cheated on you and you were the one who said 'I'm sorry"?? He took days to reply to your text? Clearly he does not want any kind of romantic relationship with you. He's in a relationship now (kind of) you need to leave him alone. Move on. Go out with your friends, enjoy your life, this is not worth it.
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