dreameater Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I went to FB and notice she sent me a desesperate message at 3AM yesteday with the crying emoticon saying that everytime she leaves that guy, he keeps retain her, not to let her go. But when she go back to him, he treats her badly. And she asked me what she should do... She is stuck... She ended with a crying emoticon again. Today, she call me and failed because I block her, then she iMessage me like rush asking me to call her back in 15mins. Last time, I played the tampon emotion 3 times... I am not going to fall into her trap once again. But if I really want her back, it is a good time to call her and see what she has to say? And if she talks about their relationship, I hang on, will this be OK? Any tips?
JDPT Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 She needs a box of tissues, she should try CVS or better yet a therapist. I commend you for remaining strong and realizing that you will not succumb to her moments of despair. Those moments are all hers, she is a big girl and will know how to deal with them. Focus on yourself, I believe you have a fundamental concept as to what it is you need to do to move forward with your life, keep it up.
Misfortune Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I wouldn't reply, 3 times is enough. She'll just use you again. I don't trust those kind of people. They can somehow leave us but can't leave the next person their with? Are they tied up in a basement? There are people who are in a worse situation than what she's claiming and they've found ways to get out. Are you her knight? 3
Author dreameater Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 I am looking for a tips to get her back. I do not want to regret as homebrew in this forum... We are humans. Everyone made mistakes and I made one myself not to listen to her warning before our breakup. So I am a part to blame. That guy charmed her when she was very down because I pushed her away by saying negative statement on her and as she is a nice and emotional girl, she fall into his trap! Women are not men, when they fall in love with someone, it is not easy to let that go unless soemthing trigger it. So, should I just ignore her and let her deal with her problem, so she will realize that I am her Green Grass as stated by homebrew?
Chi townD Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Dude, that Emoticon text is something she should be sending to a girlfriend. You are not her girlfriend. Ignore it. 2
JDPT Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yes you said it, ignore her and let her deal with her problems. Your problem by default be solved.
Author dreameater Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Damn... Why did she acts like this?! Didn't she know that she is using me and will hurt me? I know how this girl is and she is a really nice girl... Why can't she use the logic and just move on? What can stop her to move on? Someone go and give her a bat on her head to wake her up! Or it is because this guy is a gangster and got several jail case, she is worried about revenge that her family will be in danger? Or it is just a attraction that this guy is playing to control her that is why she cannot leave him because that image for her is so man?
Curt2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Damn... Why did she acts like this?! Didn't she know that she is using me and will hurt me? I know how this girl is and she is a really nice girl... Why can't she use the logic and just move on? What can stop her to move on? Someone go and give her a bat on her head to wake her up! Or it is because this guy is a gangster and got several jail case, she is worried about revenge that her family will be in danger? Or it is just a attraction that this guy is playing to control her that is why she cannot leave him because that image for her is so man? I'm not an expert and actually I hurt too at the moment BUT it doesn't take a scientist to know that this girl is making bad choices after bad choices and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE you should consider walking away from this mess. Call me crazy but I'd bet this would happen again if you took her back! 1
Chi townD Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 That's the problem with a lot of young girls nowadays. They're attracted to the "bad boys" and they chase after them. But, they can't seem to get it through their heads that if he has a bad boy image and is know to be a bad boy, logic would dictate that sooner or later they are going to start treating them BADLY!!! Well, not your problem anymore. She wants you to be her emotional support. Then, she would have the best of both worlds. You to take care of her emotional needs and the gangster asshat to take care of her physical needs. How is that fair to you? 2
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 That's the problem with a lot of young girls nowadays. They're attracted to the "bad boys" and they chase after them. But, they can't seem to get it through their heads that if he has a bad boy image and is know to be a bad boy, logic would dictate that sooner or later they are going to start treating them BADLY!!! Well, not your problem anymore. She wants you to be her emotional support. Then, she would have the best of both worlds. You to take care of her emotional needs and the gangster asshat to take care of her physical needs. How is that fair to you? Young women do not know how to differentiate between the confident, self-assured guy and the jerk because jerks usually come off as confident because they don't give a sh*t. Most eventually mature and grow out of this, but many don't. 2
Author dreameater Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Omg... I just realized that she is off today! She works at the same company as me - different place. She is 29 years old though and I am also 29 - few months younger! She is an arrogance person, but have a baby voice and always act like a baby that is why EVERYONE that meet her will like her because of her evertime smilling! And probably the worst... She has vacation the next whole week and may be she is using me to reconfort her, so she can have a nice vacation? How sick! I hope this is not true...
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Omg... I just realized that she is off today! She works at the same company as me - different place. She is 29 years old though and I am also 29 - few months younger! She is an arrogance person, but have a baby voice and always act like a baby that is why EVERYONE that meet her will like her because of her evertime smilling! And probably the worst... She has vacation the next whole week and may be she is using me to reconfort her, so she can have a nice vacation? How sick! I hope this is not true... Of course she's using you for comfort -- because you allow it to happen. 3
Author dreameater Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Can someone explain me a fewer points which I missed when she PM me on FB as I unfriend her... **Cry** How are you? Me, not well! I got trouble these time! I felt that I am going to the Hell road!! **Doubt** **Cry** I am stuck and do not know what to do! He knows my weakness! I cannot leave him and go! Everytime I leave, he will retain me back! But when I stay, he will treat me badly! **Cry** Should I shout her and tell her to wake her ass up because she is just lying to herself? And no one can control her if she didn't want to?
Misfortune Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Leave her be. You're not her keeper. She can call the cops if it's as bad as she makes it seem. I'm sure she has friends and family also. They want the bad boys/girls that will always keep their life exciting, let her live with her Prince Charming.
hotpotato Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 It's her problem, and one of her own creation. Leave her be. 1
hotpotato Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Can someone explain me a fewer points which I missed when she PM me on FB as I unfriend her... **Cry** How are you? Me, not well! I got trouble these time! I felt that I am going to the Hell road!! **Doubt** **Cry** I am stuck and do not know what to do! He knows my weakness! I cannot leave him and go! Everytime I leave, he will retain me back! But when I stay, he will treat me badly! **Cry** Should I shout her and tell her to wake her ass up because she is just lying to herself? And no one can control her if she didn't want to? The more you interfere, the more likely her new relationship will succeed. 4
Apparition Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Dude, why on earth would you want to speak to your ex about her new relationship she has with another guy??? She is only looking for a FRIEND, someone to cry to about her problems with him. It doesn't mean anything, it just means she's USING you because she probably knows you will be there for her. Don't speak to her, avoid contact and get on with your life. 2
cavalier99 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Can someone explain me a fewer points which I missed when she PM me on FB as I unfriend her... **Cry** How are you? Me, not well! I got trouble these time! I felt that I am going to the Hell road!! **Doubt** **Cry** I am stuck and do not know what to do! He knows my weakness! I cannot leave him and go! Everytime I leave, he will retain me back! But when I stay, he will treat me badly! **Cry** Should I shout her and tell her to wake her ass up because she is just lying to herself? And no one can control her if she didn't want to? Stop being a pussy and her emocional tampon! Thats my 2 cents. Rock on! Cav 3
Author dreameater Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 So bizarre... Suddently, I do not hear anything from her anymore... May be that guy got her back and she is happy with him now?
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Probably because he stopped being an asshat and apologized to her. Now, everything is alright in her universe. Not your problem anymore.
Author dreameater Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 My mind was neutral for over 3 weeks after I applied NC. Now, her alert make me to go back to the square one and I feel so hurt once again. Any tips for me to pass this? I know time will do, but next month or so, she will try to contact me and make me fall back once again... She is so gentle with everyone. How can she do this to me? Can't she feel it that she is hurting me?
Chi townD Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Sure. You ignore it. All of it. Sooner or later she'll buy a clue.
Author dreameater Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 ***Update*** I wrote her a letter without given my intention... She replied to me that we respect me. And whenever I need her help, just call her and she will be there at anytime. When she called me in rush, I didn't pickup the phone as I am in NC... So, she went to see the 3rd guy. This 3rd guy is always stuborn and love her - has been 2 years. But she never loves him and told him she consider him as big brother. But this guy is still waiting hope... She asked me if she should give a chance to that 3rd guy... So I guess she is done with the bad guy. It is time for me to step forward and see the horizon or leave it like that? If I leave like that, there is a chance she will be with the 3rd guy which she consider as brother... What is your thought?
hurts2death Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 that you are being weird... wtf she died for you now... leave her delete her from you. end of story,, now if you want advice for your bad and not your good ask again.. -john***Update*** I wrote her a letter without given my intention... She replied to me that we respect me. And whenever I need her help, just call her and she will be there at anytime. When she called me in rush, I didn't pickup the phone as I am in NC... So, she went to see the 3rd guy. This 3rd guy is always stuborn and love her - has been 2 years. But she never loves him and told him she consider him as big brother. But this guy is still waiting hope... She asked me if she should give a chance to that 3rd guy... So I guess she is done with the bad guy. It is time for me to step forward and see the horizon or leave it like that? If I leave like that, there is a chance she will be with the 3rd guy which she consider as brother... What is your thought?
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