dazedandconfused25 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 My girlfriend and I have only been together since May but we've been best friends for years, I've had a thing for her since we were 7 years old and we had been on the verge of going out a few times but we were so young, it never ended up happening. So although the relationship itself is only 3 months old, it goes back a lot longer... Almost 3 weeks ago she left for college, I left a few days later and we had every intention of doing the long distance thing and getting through it and being together for the rest of our lives and all that. We knew it would be hard but we both love each other so much and have for a pretty long time now, so it definitely was worth a shot. But here we are, just 19 days later, and it's already so hard and I can't bare the thought of not seeing her for 3 more months if it's only been 19 days and I already miss her this much. You don't get to kiss them goodnight or hold their hand or comfort them when they've had a bad day. Yeah we text all the time and Skype a few times a week but that just can't compare to physically being able to be with a person. She can't always be there for me when I need her and vice versa. Our worlds are just so different right now, going through our days with out each other and just completely doing our own things and then just filling each other in at the end of the day... It just kills me every night as I'm laying there falling asleep that her and I have to be apart for so long, that I can't hold her and fall asleep next to her. l love her so much and I know that she loves me and we want to be together for the rest of our lives, but this is so hard! I don't want to break up with her and I don't know if it would make me feel any better but this is just destroying me. I don't even like entertaining the idea of breaking up with her, she's the love of my life, but this is just so hard already. I feel like it's horrible to break up with someone who you love that much but I don't know how I'm supposed to do this for 4 years. I'm not one to give up easily and I wanted her for so long, but I feel like every day we grow farther and farther apart and it hasnt even been 3 weeks...
HeavenOrHell Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I don't agree with the last poster, she won't necessarily meet someone else, not if the two of you are in love with each other and don't want anyone else, sure we can find other people attractive, but we don't act on it if we are happy with our partner and only want to be with them, but this is likely to happen >The loneliness will creep in and perhaps even missing your touch but Skype can only go so far and do so much, eventually it won't be enough. For either of you I'm afraid< However, if you are already struggling with the distance and you have to do this for 4 years then it might be too much for you. How often can you meet up? I see my partner every other month, been doing it for 3 1/2 years, we don't have an end in sight, and the closer we have become the more I am struggling, I'm reaching the point I'm more unhappy than happy and it's making me stressed/low. But like you say; how do you break up with the person you love and want to be with? I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I truly hope things work out for you. 1
ThisGal Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I'm gonna tell you right now and be brutally honest and it might not sit well with you or a few other users but your relationship WILL NOT LAST. Sorry, you won't make it. Yes, I know you are infatuated with her and you are currently living the fantasy of every friendzoned childhood crush right now by finally getting the girl but you're doomed. Sorry but I'm in tears laughing I needed this good laugh today. But really, I agree. The relationship will most likely not last. You will both come to the realization that 4 years is a long time and given that you are both off to college for the first time, and all that it entails (having freedom, stress, experiencing new things, etc) it will make it difficult to proceed. You're already feeling it and it's barely been a month. You two should have a serious conversation about this and be realistic with your expectations. 1
yessy21 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Theres always a chance encounter that can change both of your paths. Don't try to stop it. Just ride the wave... distance is a test.
ThisGal Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I see my partner every other month, been doing it for 3 1/2 years, we don't have an end in sight, and the closer we have become the more I am struggling, I'm reaching the point I'm more unhappy than happy and it's making me stressed/low. 3 1/2 years is a long time and no end in sight! You two need to have the same conversation as the poster. 1
Author dazedandconfused25 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Hahah well you guys didn't have to be so supportive and encouraging Just kidding, I didn't come on here so that I could be lied to, thanks for being honest. The truth just is hard to hear I guess. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do then, you're all telling me that I should end it now and stop wasting both of our times, but for all I know she thinks things are going fine...Out of the blue I'm just going to call her and explain it to her and that will be that, just not talk to her anymore and leave her to go through college without any contact with me? That just sounds cruel And I also think it's hard because first and foremost we are best friends, that's what we were for years and years and even when we weren't going out we obviously still were communicating with each other. So not only would I be breaking up with her but for the first time in her life I just would be completely absent...
Dolphono Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 No need (4 the drama) to end it, that'll happen naturally. Now, if you guys are that "special" it will not happen/end. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 What makes you think we haven't already this conversation over and over?! He was going to move a while ago but his job transfer fell through, we don't have a plan B unfortunately, not for the foreseeable. 3 1/2 years is a long time and no end in sight! You two need to have the same conversation as the poster.
justwhoiam Posted September 10, 2013 Posted September 10, 2013 Patience doesn't belong to our time, I guess. Only few people are so stubborn to pursue what they want or what they are looking for for a long time. If such people didn't exist, we wouldn't have many inventions nowadays, and so many masterpieces that took years to complete. Inventions that came after 9 years, or 25 years of hard work. And the same goes for some artists. Perspective is what we lack the most these days.
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