Complicated situation, I dont know what I should do!

[lovelyflower1]

Hi,

 

So I met this guy about 6 months ago and we became friends very quickly ( We both felt like we knew each other before).

So, as we fancy each other, we started sleeping together and he told me he couldnt be in a relationship from the start (he just broke up with his GF/has no job, does not feel very stable and cant make decisions for 2 where he is right now).

So we carried on sleeping together, and one day I upset because I do like him, so we had a talk and he said maybe in the future they cud be a chance for us). He said he does not want to loose me, and he would be upset if we never talked again. So we said maybe we should not sleep together anymore.

Saw him a few days ago, we slept together again and acted like we are together as we normally do, then I told him that thought we agreed that we would not do this anymore and he said that he likes me, we are young and shouldnt always think to much.

 

So Now the question is, remain like this and see what happens? Or tell him that's it, I cant do it anymore?

 

I dont want to put pressure on the situation and i know that feelings can take time to develop and I do feel like he cares about me, but I think I care more and might get hurt. I feel silly because I dont wanna put a name on us, I'm not trying to put us in a box, it's just I've been hurt before and I dont want to be hurt again...

 

(Btw, this guy smokes quite alot and I think that may affect his thinking at specific times...)

[CarrieT]

You can't sleep with him because you have feelings for him.

 

You can't be "just friends" because he has put up banner of not being able to have a relationship.

 

Walk away. Tell him he can't have it both ways; i.e., "doesn't want to lose you" but is sleeping with you but won't draw you nearer.

 

Just tell him it hurts you too much to give so much of yourself and not having all your needs met.

[ThisGal]

He's simply not interested in a relationship with you. Point blank. No amount of sex you give him will change his mind. The 'title' is called FWB (friends with benefits). You're wasting your time. You've already developed feelings for him, unfortunately, they're not mutual. Time to block him out of your life. No need to keep him as a friend as you'd only be fooling yourself; even if you do stop having sex with him you already have feelings for him so continuing to communicate with him will make it hard to move on. The smoking will not effect him that much. He's capable of knowing what he wants, and it isn't you. And the "just broke up with my GF/have no job, does not feel very stable and cant make decisions for 2 where I am right now" are all excuses. He's feeding you crap, stop eating it. If he was interested he would let you know and pursue you not lead you on and continue to reap the benefits of a girlfriend without you actually being one. Tell him that you can't continue because both your expectations are different. And this time keep your word and not break it like last time when you told him no sex. Again, move on with your life.

Edited September 4, 2013 by ThisGal