Need to let go

[silly in love]

So here is my story if anyone can help or I just need to vent out.

 

I know my current so called "ex" for nearly five years with a one year break in between.The relation was amazing sometimes and rocky some other times due to him withdrawing and not able to commit.We barely fight or argue at the good times but when he tends to fly away things get intense and each time i let go.

To cut the long story short after one year of break,we ended up in each others life with the promise of commitment and marriage.I love him truly with all my heart but he is the type who cant commit.Never was to anyone and always finds the nearest exit door to escape. Yet there is always a claim of love you and care for you while no real action.I am so tired of this roller coaster,when i distance he runs when Im around he suffocates and nothing moves forward.Each and everytime caused me alot of heartache and depression.

Anyone been in this situation?

I know if someone wants to marry they will move mountains,so practically I know it will never happen but I just cnt let it go.I love him alot but also I want to get out of this toxic.It just seems I always look for a hope that he will change even when Im out and dating others.

Ps.Before some infidelity happened and after a year I was able to let my hard feelings to go away.After lots of promises, and I went back to the relationship yet after few months things become same interms of withdrawing and looking outside for a better option.I am beautiful,educated girl from a good family and not so hard to find someone else but yet I cnt give my heart to someone else.

 

Please tell me if you were in the same situation and how did u handle it?????

 

Plzzzzzzzzzz

[Philosoraptor]

I think the best thing to do right now is step back and look at this from an outsiders view. You are with someone who not only has a lack of commitment, but withdraws from you and there have been infidelity issues. What advice would you give your best friend if she came up to you with this same story?

 

My opinion though is that there is a little codependency here and you are clinging to not much of anything.

[lovelyflower1]

My advice to you would be to let him go, if he is always like this with you things are not going to get better once you are married. He does not sound stable and it's not good for you to be playing these games where u run, and he come after and vise versa. This situation does not seem to be making you happy and I know it's not easy to let go because you love him. But sometimes letting go is for a greater good. My friend was in a smilar situation to you, she left him for good (which was very difficult for her) and now she is in a happy stable relationship.

I know its a diffucult decision, but you need to think about what will make you happier in the long run. Good luck!

[silly in love]

Philosoraptor amazing quote,thanks for the reply.I know exactly what I would advice a friend and thats how I feel so stupid falling in the same trap again,after more than a year of working to get over the same person.

[silly in love]

lovelyflower1,

 

I hope I can have the courage to be like your friend.I let him go but back of my mind there is always a hope,which Im trying to kill it.Seems so stubborn.:)Not young anymore in early 30's and should act like a big girl.