napy666 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 My mom is old school so she brought me up that way telling me that guys will indicate if they like you by calling you first, messaging you first, holding your hand first, kissing you first, basically if the guy makes the first move it shows they like you. But nowadays its not that way only some are that way. So me and this new guy who I've talked too who is suppose to move out here he told me straight out he isn't that way. But me I hate always having to hit up the guy first it shows that I am interested and not them. Does it really matter?
Keenly Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Apparently, to you it does matter. If you never do anything for yourself, nothing good is ever going to happen in your life. 1
Dallers Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 He is a man of my own heart, there is traditional and then there is bulls**t. If a girl likes me that is her problem not mine, i may just like her back but why should i automatically have to read the signals and make the move?! Not gonna happen because my life is fine without her and i do not actually need anyone. Girls think that if they go for the guy they look easy but to me it just impresses me as a confident woman is a woman i need, not another girl that needs looking after. Man up and make the move. 2
MidwestUSA Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 OP, is your mom determined to keep you in your room for your entire life? Have you ever met, in person, any of these guys you speak of? Or are these all hypothetical situations? You sound incredibly naive for your age; it would do you good to get out - school, a job, hobbies, exercise. Give up your computer for a month. Your future doesn't hinge on finding a guy. Find yourself first, and the rest will follow. 2
ThisGal Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 OP, is your mom determined to keep you in your room for your entire life? Have you ever met, in person, any of these guys you speak of? Or are these all hypothetical situations? You sound incredibly naive for your age; it would do you good to get out - school, a job, hobbies, exercise. Give up your computer for a month. Your future doesn't hinge on finding a guy. Find yourself first, and the rest will follow. Well damn! Lol. And I thought I was blunt.
HappyLove Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I think we get obsessed with following "rules" and all we can really rely on is common sense. Some men are shy and you have to put a little more effort in letting them know your interested. So even though you may not want to call first you do so he sees you're interested. But if it becomes clear that you're always the one calling first and he's not asking to see you then maybe you need to take the hint that he's not interested. 2
ThisGal Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 He should be pursuing you. Of course you should show interest also. He shouldn't sit back while you initiate all communication. Things should just flow naturally anyway. If you want to hold his hand, hold it. If you wanna kiss him then smack one on him, if you want to call, then call. However, he should be just as excited to do these things also, if not more. Because yes, I expect him to pursue me. Yup, I said it! I wouldn't be with my b/f if he didn't show me that he was truly interested and have continued to make it clear. Lots of lackluster men these days. Don't like these type of men then avoid them, otherwise, you won't be happy. 2
Author napy666 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 I will just continue to talk to him and see what happens next. I did notice a post he made on Facebook but not so sure if it was referring to me or another girl. "This girl is pretty amazing.. I ow the heck did I find her..maybe it's finally my time to be truly happy. Things are definitely looking up. Future is looking good" is the posting he made earlier today.
It's Just Me Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Girls think that if they go for the guy they look easy but to me it just impresses me as a confident woman is a woman i need, not another girl that needs looking after. Man up and make the move. Men think that if they go for a girl they're sissies, but to me it just impresses me. A confident man is a man I need, not another little boy that needs looking after. Man up and make the move. (Hello from the other side of the coin. ) 1
snowflakes88 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Not a good sign if he's planning to move to be with you and you're not even certain whether his FB post is about you or another girl...
snowflakes88 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Wait, please say this isn't the same guy who refuses to Skype you or send you a photo.
todreaminblue Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 My mom is old school so she brought me up that way telling me that guys will indicate if they like you by calling you first, messaging you first, holding your hand first, kissing you first, basically if the guy makes the first move it shows they like you. But nowadays its not that way only some are that way. So me and this new guy who I've talked too who is suppose to move out here he told me straight out he isn't that way. But me I hate always having to hit up the guy first it shows that I am interested and not them. Does it really matter? you can decide to listen to the person who has loved you all your life....or you can choose to listen to randoms on the internet who most likely have issues of theri own this is a help site...i would go to your mum...i am a mum i hope my girls listen to me...... my grandfather told me something similar to what your mum told you.....guys who wait fro the girl to make the moves have their own agenda......like to sit back and take it easy make you do the work.......to me....it doesnt show someoen who si willign to stand up for me...and then i make it easy on them....i dont need looking after doen that since i was a girl...looked after msyelf....bandaged my own wounds..... but i do need a guy who has some guts...even shy guys have a strength to stand up...in fact they are often the first ones who do and who succeed as well......i dotn want a guy i have to stand in front of....i dotn want a guy i have to look after just a guy who would stand beside me...takes guts....... you do what you think si best in your heart....listen to your mum....every girl should......your mum has your best interest at heart...she loves you...hugs....best wishes...hope he stands up and says hey i like you adn doesnt make you do all the work.....its pretty lazy actually and a bit prideful to let someone else take the fall and the not knowing.......not a guy willing to stick his neck out..for you...i have stuck my neck out to cop rejection...i only ever do it for people that i think are special that i want to get closer...he should think you special enough to stick his neck out for you even if he hates doing it....if you care...you do it..........thats my opinion..........good luck...deb....
soccerrprp Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Men think that if they go for a girl they're sissies, but to me it just impresses me. A confident man is a man I need, not another little boy that needs looking after. Man up and make the move. (Hello from the other side of the coin. ) Many, angry, bitter men think it's beneath them to make the first moves. Not all. I do for the short-term, but expect that I don't need to after a while and that is what happens. 2
todreaminblue Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Many, angry, bitter men think it's beneath them to make the first moves. Not all. I do for the short-term, but expect that I don't need to after a while and that is what happens. amen to that that is all i want to say....deb
Sunshine87 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 How is this any different from when the guy makes the first move on a woman? Oh please....m
sigurpol Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Someone else mentioned it here, you make your own rules. It's what YOU want anyway, what's it matter? As long as it's in line appropriately, it's your choice if you want the guy to take the reigns. If I have the urge, or want, to take someone out or make plans. I make them. Sometimes I leave room for suggestions for the girl, in case she might already have something in mind. I'm also 100% fine if a girl asks me to do something. I actually like that a lot.
phineas Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 you can decide to listen to the person who has loved you all your life....or you can choose to listen to randoms on the internet who most likely have issues of theri own this is a help site...i would go to your mum...i am a mum i hope my girls listen to me...... my grandfather told me something similar to what your mum told you.....guys who wait fro the girl to make the moves have their own agenda......like to sit back and take it easy make you do the work.......to me....it doesnt show someoen who si willign to stand up for me...and then i make it easy on them....i dont need looking after doen that since i was a girl...looked after msyelf....bandaged my own wounds..... but i do need a guy who has some guts...even shy guys have a strength to stand up...in fact they are often the first ones who do and who succeed as well......i dotn want a guy i have to stand in front of....i dotn want a guy i have to look after just a guy who would stand beside me...takes guts....... you do what you think si best in your heart....listen to your mum....every girl should......your mum has your best interest at heart...she loves you...hugs....best wishes...hope he stands up and says hey i like you adn doesnt make you do all the work.....its pretty lazy actually and a bit prideful to let someone else take the fall and the not knowing.......not a guy willing to stick his neck out..for you...i have stuck my neck out to cop rejection...i only ever do it for people that i think are special that i want to get closer...he should think you special enough to stick his neck out for you even if he hates doing it....if you care...you do it..........thats my opinion..........good luck...deb.... Last I checked it was 2013. women are allowed out of the kitchen, allowed to vote,have jobs & the word "dowry" is only heard on masterpiece theater. OP can listen to her mom and her antiquated ideas about dating but the truth of the matter is women who know what yr it is are out there going after & getting the good men instead of waiting around for them to come to her. 3
Author napy666 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 Yeah I know women should or could go out and get the guy they want but others have told me to just wait for them to come to me etc. I know what I want in life and the type of guy too and I think that this guy I am talking too is the right guy for me and he likes me for me and wants me.
Dallers Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 Men think that if they go for a girl they're sissies, but to me it just impresses me. A confident man is a man I need, not another little boy that needs looking after. Man up and make the move. (Hello from the other side of the coin. ) Heads or tails it doesn't matter because as so many of the female kind have confirmed in this post they 'expect' the man to make the first move. We never expect, we assume we are required to make the first move because that is how society looks at it. My post was not to imply sexism, not for a second. Just to say that if I was him hell no am I going to automatically chase you just because you give me a few hints that you want to tie a ball and chain around my foot. Either come get me or sit there and sulk while I go for the alpha girl who has the confidence to make the first move. It works both ways and for me I can wait if it means ending up with a real woman.
It's Just Me Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Many, angry, bitter men think it's beneath them to make the first moves. Not all. I do for the short-term, but expect that I don't need to after a while and that is what happens. Agreed. After the initial move, it's up to both to keep the ball rolling.
kaylan Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) My mom is old school so she brought me up that way telling me that guys will indicate if they like you by calling you first, messaging you first, holding your hand first, kissing you first, basically if the guy makes the first move it shows they like you. But nowadays its not that way only some are that way. So me and this new guy who I've talked too who is suppose to move out here he told me straight out he isn't that way. But me I hate always having to hit up the guy first it shows that I am interested and not them. Does it really matter? You should BOTH show interest. I would be turned off if I was the only one initiating things with a woman all the time. It would lead me to think shes not that into it, and Id go find new women.Yeah I know women should or could go out and get the guy they want but others have told me to just wait for them to come to me etc. I know what I want in life and the type of guy too and I think that this guy I am talking too is the right guy for me and he likes me for me and wants me. Good things dont fall into most peoples laps without some effort. Edited September 6, 2013 by kaylan
phineas Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 Heads or tails it doesn't matter because as so many of the female kind have confirmed in this post they 'expect' the man to make the first move. We never expect, we assume we are required to make the first move because that is how society looks at it. My post was not to imply sexism, not for a second. Just to say that if I was him hell no am I going to automatically chase you just because you give me a few hints that you want to tie a ball and chain around my foot. Either come get me or sit there and sulk while I go for the alpha girl who has the confidence to make the first move. It works both ways and for me I can wait if it means ending up with a real woman. Except, women think they are screaming from the roof tops "come get me" but I can promise you they aren't doing a damn thing to actually get a man's attention but just stand there & try to look pretty. Meanwhile there are just as many women in the bar actually walking up to men & talking to them. Showing direct interest. Also there are a lot of women out there that give no indication they even like you. You could chat them up, put your arm around them & they act like you never did it. In fact they only show they don't like you when you go too far. Sorry, just not interested in women like that. Makes me feel like a god-damn sexual predator. I'll ask a woman out, but I only ask once then I move on.
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 6, 2013 Posted September 6, 2013 If that is what you want in a man, there are plenty out there willing to do just that. Just like for men who DON'T like to do that, there is a woman out there who is ok with it. No way is right or wrong, it is all personal preference.
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