Zeppelin12 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I went on a date with a nice guy (the first nice guy I've met in some time) last week. He's very gentleman like, to the point I felt uncomfortable. The date went perfectly, but I sort of felt like I was in a movie compared to reality. I'm not the kind of woman that swoons over corny comments. I enjoy romance, but I don't want to hear a guy I just started seeing say to me how he can't wait to "snuggle" when we get back. It's to much. He was in a two year relationship where the last 4 months were long distance. I didn't know until the first date that they only officially broke up TWO weeks ago. He's a good man, 29, owns his own business, has a lot of hobbies and is fun to be around. He's not my type, but my type hasn't gotten me far. I'm trying to tell myself that butterflies aren't necessary. Last night he called me to figure out our plan for today (keep in mind this will be only the 4th time we hung out). I said I'm pretty open. He said "well what time do you want to get together? Where do you want to go? What time are you thinking? The earlier the better. As long as I'm with you I'll be happy" so I just said dinner is fine or we could have a glass of wine and a movie it doesn't matter he says "so what you're saying is you don't care what we do as long as you're with me?" not what I said. I'm very skittish and I'm dealing with my own heartbreak myself (refer to old posts). But I don't want to throw away something that could be good. I know he's into me, but I feel like I'm playing "insta-girlfriend" and I'm not okay with that. How do I tell him this without sounding mean? My family and friends think I'm insane that I'm not eating this up but for some reason it just doesn't do it for me. I want it to, maybe because I've never been treated like this before but it makes me uncomfortable.
Philosoraptor Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yep, sounds like a rebound here. Projecting what he was missing from the ex into a relationship with you right off the bat. Communicate with him and set some boundaries. If he's not willing to slow it down you will have your answer. 1
Rikko Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I went on a date with a nice guy (the first nice guy I've met in some time) last week. He's very gentleman like, to the point I felt uncomfortable. The date went perfectly, but I sort of felt like I was in a movie compared to reality. I'm not the kind of woman that swoons over corny comments. I enjoy romance, but I don't want to hear a guy I just started seeing say to me how he can't wait to "snuggle" when we get back. It's to much. He was in a two year relationship where the last 4 months were long distance. I didn't know until the first date that they only officially broke up TWO weeks ago. He's a good man, 29, owns his own business, has a lot of hobbies and is fun to be around. He's not my type, but my type hasn't gotten me far. I'm trying to tell myself that butterflies aren't necessary. Last night he called me to figure out our plan for today (keep in mind this will be only the 4th time we hung out). I said I'm pretty open. He said "well what time do you want to get together? Where do you want to go? What time are you thinking? The earlier the better. As long as I'm with you I'll be happy" so I just said dinner is fine or we could have a glass of wine and a movie it doesn't matter he says "so what you're saying is you don't care what we do as long as you're with me?" not what I said. I'm very skittish and I'm dealing with my own heartbreak myself (refer to old posts). But I don't want to throw away something that could be good. I know he's into me, but I feel like I'm playing "insta-girlfriend" and I'm not okay with that. How do I tell him this without sounding mean? My family and friends think I'm insane that I'm not eating this up but for some reason it just doesn't do it for me. I want it to, maybe because I've never been treated like this before but it makes me uncomfortable. beware. and if you don't feel it after 5 dates. dont see him anymore.
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