Seriously, what the hell is this?

[kileyy]

Excuse my anger but I am honestly so done with this "friend" of mine. I made a thread a while ago explaining the back story:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/416518-so-does-he-like-me-not-very-mixed-signals

 

So after that all took place, I texted him and asked him if he wanted to hang out. No reply. Then I went over to a mutual friend's house, who took my phone and called him from it. I sent him another text to apologize and say it wasn't me who called. He replied to THAT text, but not my offer of hanging out. I then confronted him about it in a joking manner with again, no reply.

 

Lately, he's been favoriting some of my tweets/liking my pictures on Instagram which made me think he still wants to keep in touch/talk. It's been 11 days since we last spoke, and I haven't even seen him since we kissed (in the previous thread, about 3 weeks ago) So I sent him a text today saying that I missed him and our talks we used to have. Sure enough, no reply.

 

Really? What's his problem? What kind of games is he playing? Saying he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and that we need to hang out soon, liking my pictures, but yet won't even reply to my texts. I'm so done with this one sided friendship; he treats everyone else like royalty and used to be the kindest and best friend to me. He promised he would never ignore me. I don't understand what happened.

[spiderowl]

It does sound like he's giving you minimal attention. Perhaps this means he just wants to stay in contact, occasionally, but not much more.

 

I can understand why you find this intolerable. Instead of wondering and pulling your hair out over it, why not just ignore him? He is ignoring you mostly. Let him get in touch with you, in person, and come and see you. If he can't be relied upon to reply to texts, don't bother using them with him. If he asks you why you don't text any more, or reply to his, tell him he was unreliable with texts so you won't bother any more. Seriously, you need to teach him how to treat you. You deserve more respect than this.

 

Whatever this guy's up to, he currently has too much power over you and it's time you refused to be at his beck and call any more. If he's genuinely interested, it might make him sit up and act more reliably. If he isn't, what have you lost anyway?

[Teknoe]

Life's too short. He's a negative more than a positive. Let him go and make peace with it. You'll meet a great guy who will appreciate you for you!

[kileyy]

thank you both! after the last text i was talking about the he ignored, he ONCE AGAIN proceeded to like my instagram pic i put up today... i really am so confused. i was completely in the mindset that that was the final straw and he did not want to be friends. i don't want to keep getting dragged back into this

[todreaminblue]

sounds like your mum was right he wants you to chase him....

 

 

if you truly like soemone and they offer to come and hang out.you accept their offer to hang out..you hang out with them and get to know them better so you wont feel so insecure...this guy wants you to chase him "chasies" is a game for kids......no one should have to chase...unless its a hyperactive two year old hell bent on escaping..

 

 

if he really liked you he wouldnt make you chase him...deb

[Dolphono]

thank you both! after the last text i was talking about the he ignored, he ONCE AGAIN proceeded to like my instagram pic i put up today... i really am so confused. i was completely in the mindset that that was the final straw and he did not want to be friends. i don't want to keep getting dragged back into this

 

He downgraded the friendship to cyber friends only.

Just appreciate the cyber luv and move on.

[kileyy]

thanks deb, yeah it does seem to be very immature. he's playing some sort of game and he needs to grow up! just angry because we were very good friends and he's broke a lot of his promises.

 

wouldn't even call if cyber love if he doesn't text me back anymore, lol

[kileyy]

well, finally got a reply from him on Tuesday. he apologized several times for being such a horrible friend and offered to go out for coffee yesterday. i said maybe and then asked yesterday morning if he was still up for it. he said "how about tomorrow?:)" way later so I said okay, a little mad that I had wasted my day. Now today, I asked him what time we were going and he said whenever, we talked for a bit, and it's now almost 6 with no reply back and no time set to go. I honestly am the only person he treats like this, and it's really unfair. He is such a good friend (and used to be for me too) to everyone else and will go out of his way to make someone smile. Now I'm getting the short end of the stick and I'm fed up with him being someone that I used to know..

[spiderowl]

well, finally got a reply from him on Tuesday. he apologized several times for being such a horrible friend and offered to go out for coffee yesterday. i said maybe and then asked yesterday morning if he was still up for it. he said "how about tomorrow?:)" way later so I said okay, a little mad that I had wasted my day. Now today, I asked him what time we were going and he said whenever, we talked for a bit, and it's now almost 6 with no reply back and no time set to go. I honestly am the only person he treats like this, and it's really unfair. He is such a good friend (and used to be for me too) to everyone else and will go out of his way to make someone smile. Now I'm getting the short end of the stick and I'm fed up with him being someone that I used to know..

 

You are far too tolerant of this guy. He's letting you down and messing you about. If he contacts you again, why not tell him he's unreliable and so you can't be bothered? He doesn't deserve your time and attention. Either he's got some serious mental problem or he tests people out to see if they are prepared to be messed about and will chase him nonetheless. The more you put up with it, the more he thinks he can get away with it.

[kileyy]

I know I'm way too tolerant, I've always been that way with people, and it's come back to haunt me more than once. I always just want people to like me so I let then get away with more than they should. I'm on my last straw now though and am not taking anymore of his games... Thank you all for your support, I will let you know if anything else happens.

[Teknoe]

well, finally got a reply from him on Tuesday. he apologized several times for being such a horrible friend and offered to go out for coffee yesterday. i said maybe and then asked yesterday morning if he was still up for it. he said "how about tomorrow?:)" way later so I said okay, a little mad that I had wasted my day. Now today, I asked him what time we were going and he said whenever, we talked for a bit, and it's now almost 6 with no reply back and no time set to go. I honestly am the only person he treats like this, and it's really unfair. He is such a good friend (and used to be for me too) to everyone else and will go out of his way to make someone smile. Now I'm getting the short end of the stick and I'm fed up with him being someone that I used to know..

 

 

Wow. WOW. K, you and I should have hung out instead. Because the same thing happened to me with my crush/female friend whom I confessed my feelings to over an email back in late July when she was out of the country.

 

She's been back 2.5 weeks now, and we have yet to hang out.

 

We were aiming to watch Insidious 2 Friday, but she texted me Thursday evening she double booked for Friday, and apologized said "Can we watch another time?"

 

I suggested Saturday and she said OK.

 

She texted at 4 PM Saturday saying "Sorry my phone's been dead."

 

I just had a bad feeling. We made tentative plans. I shot her the show times at 5 PM, didn't hear back until 2 hours later. Not surprised when she sent me this:

 

"Hey Tek, so sorry but I don't think I can make it tonight. To be honest I am an emotional roller coaster and been in bed feeling horrible. I dunno what is wrong with me."

 

"Sorry for flaking on you again, I don't mean to"

 

I was really upset. I too felt like I wasted my time waiting around. I was going to ignore her completely, but it's just not my style. I sent her this about 40 minutes later:

 

"Hey ___, sorry to hear u r feeling down and out. I will pray for you, my friend. Take care."

 

1. I am going no contact after this. If she wants the friendship to reconnect, then she is going to have to initiate, plan and follow through. I am done texting, emailing or IM'ing her. It's ridiculous what she has done to me.

 

2. I have officially lost a ton of respect for her. And don't know if I can resume a normal friendship with her. Might have to cut the rope right here.

 

3. Actions always speak louder than words. 2 nights in a row? Seriously? That's a jacked up "friend." Could she not have communicated with me earlier? Like, don't wait until the last second to cancel. If you're feeling crappy in bed all emo then say so right off the bat!

 

I gave her show times of 7:30 or 10 and she didn't text to cancel until 7, lol.

 

Sheesh. K, you and I both deserve better.

[PlumPrincess]

I'd drop it and do my own thing. He is probably conflicted about something, but you won't be able to resolve that for him.

[kileyy]

Wow. WOW. K, you and I should have hung out instead. Because the same thing happened to me with my crush/female friend whom I confessed my feelings to over an email back in late July when she was out of the country.

 

She's been back 2.5 weeks now, and we have yet to hang out.

 

We were aiming to watch Insidious 2 Friday, but she texted me Thursday evening she double booked for Friday, and apologized said "Can we watch another time?"

 

I suggested Saturday and she said OK.

 

She texted at 4 PM Saturday saying "Sorry my phone's been dead."

 

I just had a bad feeling. We made tentative plans. I shot her the show times at 5 PM, didn't hear back until 2 hours later. Not surprised when she sent me this:

 

"Hey Tek, so sorry but I don't think I can make it tonight. To be honest I am an emotional roller coaster and been in bed feeling horrible. I dunno what is wrong with me."

 

"Sorry for flaking on you again, I don't mean to"

 

I was really upset. I too felt like I wasted my time waiting around. I was going to ignore her completely, but it's just not my style. I sent her this about 40 minutes later:

 

"Hey ___, sorry to hear u r feeling down and out. I will pray for you, my friend. Take care."

 

1. I am going no contact after this. If she wants the friendship to reconnect, then she is going to have to initiate, plan and follow through. I am done texting, emailing or IM'ing her. It's ridiculous what she has done to me.

 

2. I have officially lost a ton of respect for her. And don't know if I can resume a normal friendship with her. Might have to cut the rope right here.

 

3. Actions always speak louder than words. 2 nights in a row? Seriously? That's a jacked up "friend." Could she not have communicated with me earlier? Like, don't wait until the last second to cancel. If you're feeling crappy in bed all emo then say so right off the bat!

 

I gave her show times of 7:30 or 10 and she didn't text to cancel until 7, lol.

 

Sheesh. K, you and I both deserve better.

 

Oh man, I'm sorry! Some people, I swear... I could never understand how people just do that to others. Guess it's because I'm never strong enough to be the one to leave, because I feel like if I do, we'll just never talk again. But this is just causing me too much stress and I honestly can't do it anymore. It really sucks because we used to be best friends, but something changed in him, and I can't fix it. Here's to us actually finding worthwhile friends/partners!