dm86 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Hello everyone, I was hoping to get some insight and perspective on how to handle this situation I am in. I was recently introduced to a girl through a mutual friend-couple. I live 2.5 hours away from her right now attending graduate school and she works as an educator. The first night that we all hung out together was great, and her and I really had some serious chemistry, and ended up pretty much making out the whole night, and still kissed goodbye the next morning. When I left the next day she told me she wanted to hang out again if I was still in town, but by that time I already left but told her I would like to see her again soon and she agreed, and I told her I would call her. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, here is what bothers me. For the last month she has been pretty flaky about returning text messages. It is generally hit or miss. I called her to follow up a couple days after we hung out and she never returned my call. When she does get back to me, usually a day or two later, she usually says she was having a "crazy" week or something to that affect and apologizes for not getting back to me. I finally called her out on it and she explained that she was just nervous about getting involved because she has been in a long distance relationship in the past and got hurt. She also said she was young back then and it may be different now. I told her that it's ok to be nervous, but just because something didn't work in the past doesn't mean it couldn't work again. I also told her I don't mind driving and, if things worked out, I would be willing to drive there as much as I could to visit her. I said that I would rather talk to her on the phone about this and to call me when she got the chance, and still have not heard from her. At this point I am really confused about what my next move should be. I really do like her, but I don't want to scare her off. Should I be persistent and try to keep setting up times I can see her and reassure her or should I just back off and giver her some space? Any advice would help, thanks!
Carenth Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Sorry to be so blunt but it's pretty obvious. She isn't interested, it may have nothing to do with you and could solely be that she doesn't want a long distance relationship. Which I can't fault her for, a lot of people can not handle LDR's they are not easy by any means. The fact she has been making up excuses as to why she hasn't been contacting you and then going cold after you got her to admit why is that she wants to put distance between you and herself. She may think your a great guy but as long as you as separated by distance she isn't interested or their could be other reasons.
quankanne Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 or, she *might* be interested, but fear is keeping her from enjoying what could be with you, because the last LDR is polluting her brain. be her friend, but don't hope for anything more. Because until she realizes that no two relationships are the same, you're fighting an uphill battle. meanwhile, take heart: Husband and I made a successful go of an LDR that spanned about two years and a billion miles before marrying 21 years ago :love:
Author dm86 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Well, I kind of just told her to quit playing games and just say so if she doesn't want to hang out with me and she is wasting my time. Never got a response to that either, so go figure. I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles. Sigh...
ThisGal Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yeah, you need to stop initiating contact. You continuing to text or call her isn't going to do you any good. She's not interested. Hey, at least you had a fun night of kisses lol. But really, stop texting her. She's purposely giving you the cold shoulder
TMichaels Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Well, I kind of just told her to quit playing games and just say so if she doesn't want to hang out with me and she is wasting my time. Never got a response to that either, so go figure. I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles. Sigh... Well, my reaction had I been told the above would have been along the lines of: "Stick it where the sun don't shine, Mr. I'm and My Time is So Important. But, thank you for sparing me the trouble of telling you to get lost." But perhaps it mattered little to her at all. Regardless, it takes two to tango and if she can't even be arsed to respond to your texts/emails/calls in a timely fashion, the odds of a relationship, LDR or not, aren't even worth putting money on. You're right to call it a day and move on. Best, TMichaels
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