Emma1234 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Arjjfhjfcbj!! Why does this feel so frustrating. He broke up with me to find himself. Basically he just wanted to be single with no commitments. I can't blame him for that despite the awful pain I've been through the past 4 months. I have been no contact for a while now, probably about 2 months but I stupidly just checked his Instagram. I know that he changed a lot before the break up so I know he's not the same loving person as he was during the relationship but I just feel stuck. In a way I want him back but only the old him, I'll admit that. Not to be big headed but nobody could believe that I was with him. The shock to my ego hurt but the true pain came from losing him as I truly loved him. Now I see that he is happily moving on and he has obviously been working out a huge amount, he is posting photos of himself tensing and posing and it just makes me feel sad. I don't feel down about myself and I have confidence in my looks and personality but I just miss him and seeing him trying to make himself more attractive and happily getting on with his life really really hurts. I feel so stuck, I can't get over him and from an outside view seeing him become more attractive and moving on is not helping at all. I can't ever imagine wanting anyone else but him. I know it may sound petty for some but how do you get past this?
Philosoraptor Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 First you stop seeing his posts and everything else. The less you know about what is going on in his life the better. You won't find yourself truly falling for someone else until you've fully healed and moved on. That can take awhile and there's no quick fix. But the best way to speed up the process would be to take your focus off of him and put it on you. Take care of yourself and you will find yourself healed up and ready to move on before you know it. 4
Author Emma1234 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Thank you, I know now I made a mistake my checking. I won't check again, I thought I was strong enough but I'm really not. I literally just feel stuck in a rut, no moving forwards yet I know I can't go back.
stillafool Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 First you need to stop viewing pictures of him and talking about him. Believe it or not this is the sort of thing that keeps him on your mind. Stay off of FB and get out of the house and do something. Go work out, take up a new interest, call friends and go out. Constantly analyzing him and searching for answers to questions that will never be answered is your worst enemy when trying to get over a failed love affair.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Have to agree, checking won't do you any good. I was a checker, I've now deleted my Facebook. It sucks seeing them move on and act like they aren't phased while you go through such emotional turmoil. I'm sorry you feel like this, I do too. I can't ever imagine being with someone whose not him. Thinking about it makes me want to be sick! I getcha honey x 3
barky2 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 You need to take the time to greive. You need to take the time for yourself. You need to let go to move forward. That's how you move on. If you rush it, ull end up 10x more heartbroken than you are. Have some you time for awhile Barky 3
Author Emma1234 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Time seems to be the answer to everything. I know that time will cure but when I feel like this it makes it difficult to believe
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Time seems to be the answer to everything. I know that time will cure but when I feel like this it makes it difficult to believe That's why when you feel like this you find something else to throw yourself into. The gym, a new hobby? helping out friends, cleaning whatever it take's you to keep him off your mind and you not miserable is exactly what you do x
Author Emma1234 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Yeah, keeping busy is definitely what we need to do. It just feels impossible that I'll stop loving him. I'm so scared of comparing who ever I meet next. I also know that I have blown the relationship into something better than it was. I can't seem to make it realistic. The guilt of things I said in the relationship also creeps in.
hurts2death Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 maybe apologize letter and move on?but then again there is no reason for someone to leave you through a fight or bad words?no just leave himYeah, keeping busy is definitely what we need to do. It just feels impossible that I'll stop loving him. I'm so scared of comparing who ever I meet next. I also know that I have blown the relationship into something better than it was. I can't seem to make it realistic. The guilt of things I said in the relationship also creeps in.
Author Emma1234 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 I did that at the beginning of the relationship but he said quite simply that he wants to be single end of. That it wasn't me, it was a relationship in general. Nothing I could have said/done differently would have changed his mind. He is quite simply a 19 year old guy looking for freedom and as we had a few arguments he took the option of leaving. Wish these feelings for him would just disappear now.
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 You will love again, it might not be for a long time but you will. We will all compare our new love's to our ex, I think it's a natural thing to do, although not fair to the new person. You just have to move on past it as best you can and in the meantime keep busy to prevent you from thinking of them at all xx
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