Author Dreamer100 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Okay, thank you. Do you think I should put my pride aside and text him?
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I would personally think very, very, very carefully about why you want to get back together. Do you actually love him, or do you just feel lonely? Do you actually love him, or are you just missing being with him, but know it wouldn't work? If you're certain you love him and want to go back to him, if you do want some changes have those clear in your head before you start. And know that it doesn't mean automatically you'll be back together and all good and happy. Or even that you'll be back together at all. As your idea was your text above, personally I would question whether you are ready to start contact again. Write down what you would like to say to him, let it stew for a few days, read it from his perspective, let it stew again, then send it.
NoLeafClover Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) 'Is that me forgotten about?' He said something similar to me once when I asked for space and didnt text him in 1 day! No mainly because that is not proper English and makes no sense. Are you asking something or saying something? Is that you? Or you forgot about who/what/something ...while referring to yourself as you? Yeah don't send or reply to anything like that please. It will only confuse things more. Edited September 3, 2013 by NoLeafClover
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Why do people keep saying it's not correct English? The text makes perfect grammatical sense, it's just that the motive for sending it (if it is reconciliation) isn't reflected in the text itself. Is this a UK/US thing? 2
Calcmag Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Why do people keep saying it's not correct English? The text makes perfect grammatical sense, it's just that the motive for sending it (if it is reconciliation) isn't reflected in the text itself. Is this a UK/US thing? Agree. It makes sense to me so it must be a UK/US thing. Or maybe it's just rudeness. If someone doesn't understand a post they have a choice. Either ignore it, or ask the OP to clarify. What's that old quotation - "the UK and the US, two fine nations divided by a common language" OP what have you done about this? I personally don't think a month is long enough time. Breaking NC usually takes you right back to the start of the healing process. 1
Omei Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 P.S Yes, I was a complete idiot by being hasty about it. It stemmed from hurt though and it did hurt. I've told h all this already. He's not being straight with me about what he wants which is why I feel I should try and get in contact again incase he thinks I'm past him... Your post said its been a month of him being NC I think thats pretty striaght forward. But yes if you want him back its your job to beg after him since you're the one that left.
Trimmer Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) Agree. It makes sense to me so it must be a UK/US thing. Or maybe it's just rudeness. If someone doesn't understand a post they have a choice. Either ignore it, or ask the OP to clarify. What's that old quotation - "the UK and the US, two fine nations divided by a common language" Yeah, I hope my "please translate to American" didn't come off too "cheeky" (there, trying to throw some "English-English" in there...) I immediately suspected it was a US/UK thing there, which is why I asked for clarification, and I did mean to acknowledge that I recognized the "common language difference" by calling my language "American". I didn't mean to be obnoxious, if it came off that way. I'm fascinated with those differences, and that it is recognized as grammatically correct by UK speakers. I'm not making fun or trying to stir the shxt here, but trying to learn: I'm assuming "is forgotten" is the verb; can you confirm this and tell me what the subject is? Also I think "me" must be the object of the preposition "about", and not the object of the verb "is forgotten", yes? Edited September 4, 2013 by Trimmer
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yes I do. I'm just afraid that he think I'm pathetic and pining for him. It's difficult. Since you were the dumper, that's the risk you have to take. You were the one who impulsively dumped instead of asking questions first so it's up to you to make the move. If I had gotten your text as a dumpee I would have thought you were the biggest piece of crap in the world. Just a terrible text to send someone who you dumped. You need to take a lap. But when you dump, you need to be the one to make the move. That's your responsibility if you want him back. If you don't want him back, you need to leave him alone.
Author Dreamer100 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 It must be a US thing because I've never known that not to make sense. Well it would have been four weeks today and I went for the plunge last night. I thought in my particular situation, it was the right time to contact. Got a reply within 3 minutes and the flood gates opened, in a good way. He's been feeling basically the same as me for the past month and very hurt over the whole thing. I'm glad I did it and that he's opened up now. We just missed each other terribly. Sometimes, you can feel in your blood when the right time is. That really was mine.
Trimmer Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) It must be a US thing because I've never known that not to make sense. Well it would have been four weeks today and I went for the plunge last night. I thought in my particular situation, it was the right time to contact. Got a reply within 3 minutes and the flood gates opened, in a good way. He's been feeling basically the same as me for the past month and very hurt over the whole thing. I'm glad I did it and that he's opened up now. We just missed each other terribly. Sometimes, you can feel in your blood when the right time is. That really was mine. Good for you, glad it worked out. So you have to tell us: what words did you use for your opening communication? Edited September 4, 2013 by Trimmer
Author Dreamer100 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 I said ' Hi, how have you been' I still stand by my original idea though hahah. I think what I wrote was more balanced and less emotional though.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I said ' Hi, how have you been' I still stand by my original idea though hahah. I think what I wrote was more balanced and less emotional though. Your original was awful. Good thing you went away from it. 1
Kizza Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Your original was awful. Good thing you went away from it. Agreed ... and if he does not reply then that is your answer and your cue to move on and learn from what happened.
Author Dreamer100 Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 He answered within 5 minutes. We are communicating now which is good.
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Yeah, I hope my "please translate to American" didn't come off too "cheeky" (there, trying to throw some "English-English" in there...) I immediately suspected it was a US/UK thing there, which is why I asked for clarification, and I did mean to acknowledge that I recognized the "common language difference" by calling my language "American". I didn't mean to be obnoxious, if it came off that way. I'm fascinated with those differences, and that it is recognized as grammatically correct by UK speakers. I'm not making fun or trying to stir the shxt here, but trying to learn: I'm assuming "is forgotten" is the verb; can you confirm this and tell me what the subject is? Also I think "me" must be the object of the preposition "about", and not the object of the verb "is forgotten", yes? Cheeky! How can you live without "cheeky" I always wonder! Naughty is not really equivalent... "Is that me forgotten about?" Is = verb for which "That" is subject me = object of "is" forgotten about = is a second, separate verb in the past participle For instance OP could come on here and say "I am being forgotten about" and then when that process is complete "That's me forgotten about" = "I have been forgotten about" = "People have forgotten about me".
Trimmer Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Cheeky! How can you live without "cheeky" I always wonder! Naughty is not really equivalent... "Is that me forgotten about?" Is = verb for which "That" is subject me = object of "is" forgotten about = is a second, separate verb in the past participle For instance OP could come on here and say "I am being forgotten about" and then when that process is complete "That's me forgotten about" = "I have been forgotten about" = "People have forgotten about me". Thank you! I was hung up thinking "me" was the object of the preposition "about", but as a predicate nominative with "is", I can see it now. I was also thrown by the use of a demonstrative pronoun ("that") out of any context, to refer to oneself, but I suspect that is one of those US/UK things. Fascinating stuff; thanks for the breakdown.
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Thank you! I was hung up thinking "me" was the object of the preposition "about", but as a predicate nominative with "is", I can see it now. I was also thrown by the use of a demonstrative pronoun ("that") out of any context, to refer to oneself, but I suspect that is one of those US/UK things. Fascinating stuff; thanks for the breakdown. Ermagod a fellow grammar nerd! Who knows nomenclature! What are we doing in the breakup forum, let's move over to Marriage and Life Partnerships! 1
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