Wolvesbaned Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 For those of you that are still here to know my story, I've typed up my divorce papers the other day and sent them to him. We qualify for Summary Dissolution so it should be easy, he doesn't even have to be present when I submit them to the courthouse. Get that... I'm submitting them! Crazy how things turn out! Over the past few months, I've dove face first into my misery. It was excruciating at first, but though countless hours or serious soul-searching, it got easier... and little by little, reality struck (and stuck) and it got easier to forget him and let it go. It was his decision, and although he caused the strain, I eventually still wanted it to work, still tried to make my marriage work. It's amazing how a few months has cleared my vision. My therapist was right, I was making excuses for him. I don't think I was even able to deal with all the aspects of his betrayal until just recently. He didn't know how to handle a relationship (because I was his first); he was stressed and couldn't handle the stress (because he was busy); he wasn't very good at interpersonal communication (I knew that in the beginning, so I'm stuck with it); he's never handled this before (and it doesn't make it right, but...but...) Sooo many excuses I had lined up, yet none of them explained his actions for not acting like my husband. I had all sorts of things going on with me too and yet I managed to keep my integrity. In those moments, I never directed attention onto myself. Just the simple "I am but you're not" didn't click with me then. Knee-jerk reactions do that to you I guess. When it came down to it, he just didn't know how to be a husband. Hell, I'm realizing he didn't really know himself much. Oh well, lesson learned. At least I've experienced it, have no children (thank goodness!) and still have my youth to enjoy (if my knees don't give in on me ). The last few days were a bit dreary, the divorce papers coupled with my flat & having to drive with the awful clicking noise of my emergency lights because I'm forced to drive with my spare at 50MPH until my tires come in, coupled with the "down" of last month's excitement, coupled with actually really talking to a man for the first time and realizing a fleeting crush --I thought he was Indiana Jones, but he was actually rather not like him at all. Yes, time does heal.
Merin Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Yay! It's good to read and hear good news.. I'm happy you're doing better;) Heres something I read.. "The wells of happiness are dug with the spade of sorrow" All the best to you!
Author Wolvesbaned Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 Aww thanks Merin2! As for the crush, it's crazy to actually admit it. And I've distinguished my crushes now (Ha!) and count this as an even more momentous crush than the cute, odd guy I had in my class this past summer. Maybe it's just cause I've been keeping away from the boys and having a real, first ever discussion with one is different... yeh that's it, it was just different (& I'm just not used to it) at least that's what I'm telling myself for now Oh well, it took me all last weekend to forget it Oh how I would pick-up and join him to dig-up some ancient artifact for a few months... damn Indy... how the heck did I ever start to dig people that dig?!!? Freeeedoooom! Hehehe
Merin Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by Wolvesbaned Aww thanks Merin2! As for the crush, it's crazy to actually admit it. And I've distinguished my crushes now (Ha!) and count this as an even more momentous crush than the cute, odd guy I had in my class this past summer. Maybe it's just cause I've been keeping away from the boys and having a real, first ever discussion with one is different... yeh that's it, it was just different (& I'm just not used to it) at least that's what I'm telling myself for now Oh well, it took me all last weekend to forget it Oh how I would pick-up and join him to dig-up some ancient artifact for a few months... damn Indy... how the heck did I ever start to dig people that dig?!!? Freeeedoooom! Hehehe
Scott S Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 I'm glad you're moving forward. The healing is underway even as we speak. I applaud you for taking ownership of the situation, & doing what needs to be done. It would have been easy to simply wallow in self-pity.
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