Is she ashamed of being seen with me? Is it okay for me to see other girls?

[futuregopher]

A friend (girl) who I know from school asked me to go on a 10 day vacation with her a few months ago to a foreign country. I asked her why she isn't asking any of her other friends and her response was "they can't take any vacation days and they can't afford it. And because you're not creepy ". So I was thinking, "what the heck, why not, sure I'll come with". She was working abroad when she asked me. This all happened a few months ago and the trip is in early October.

 

So now she's back in the same country and I saw her twice last week. Once was for lunch during the workweek and the other we went to a sporting venue together.

 

I told her that I told a couple of my friends (mutual) that we were going. And she apparently wasn't happy with that because she thinks they're going to gossip about it. She has told her friends that she is going on a trip to this place but hasn't told them that it's with a guy (me).

 

Is she just ashamed of going on a trip with a guy that's not her bf? I think it's that reason but obviously the trip is still going to happen so why try to hide it under the rug? It's all kind of shady on her part the more I think about it. I'm starting to get the impression that she's embarrassed if someone finds out that she's going on this trip with a guy. Which kind of makes me a little disappointed that she would feel that way considering she initiated this entire thing.

 

At this point, I don't even want to go if she's acting in a shady way to make it seem like me and her have nothing to do with each other.

 

I'd rather date other women but I feel like it would be disrespectful to the girls that I would go out with before this trip and have to drop this bomb on them. BUT if I did meet someone I am into, I would definitely cancel the trip. Sure, its $3k out the window and this girl is going to be pissed at me but I'd rather hang out with someone who isn't ashamed of being seen with me.

 

I'm kind of having a "wtf did I get myself into" moment so any help would be appreciated. Thank you LS!

[CC12]

I told her that I told a couple of my friends (mutual) that we were going. And she apparently wasn't happy with that because she thinks they're going to gossip about it. She has told her friends that she is going on a trip to this place but hasn't told them that it's with a guy (me).

 

Maybe they will gossip about it. People can very easily make certain assumptions about a vacation with a member of the opposite sex. And depending on how judgmental your culture or group of friends are, that might look pretty bad for her. So maybe it's not about her being embarrassed or ashamed of you at all.

 

Have you just asked her why she doesn't want people to know she's going with you?

 

Missed the part where you asked if it's okay to see other girls. Yeah, I think it's fine. You can work it into the conversation early on that you'll be going to France next month with your good friend Janie. If they have a problem with it, they don't have to keep dating you.

Edited September 3, 2013 by CC12