Angeleyez2583 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) I'm sick of my husband. Sometimes I feel like I have a 2nd child. He's decided to start a hobby selling and buying baseball and football cards. For starters, he does this all the time now. He is now putting off responsibilities ( cleaning, laundry, cooking,watching our new dog, etc). My husband says the dog is too much work, and she ends up having accidents when I'm not home because he won't watch her. She's a rescue, and I'm trying to crate train her. Well when I ask him to crate her when I'm at work, he won't because he feels bad. Also, he says it's way too much work to take her outside once every three hours. So the dog ends up peeing in places where I can't find in the house. Secondly, because of the cards I end up doing 95 percent of the house work now. He always buys groceries, but right now, our fridge is almost empty. If he doesn't go tomorrow, I'll have to. That is how he used to contribute financially, but since he now spends most of it on baseball cards now, I end up going hungry so our daughter can eat. He even forgot to get the cats food, so I had to run back out to the store after my 12 hour shift. It's hard for me to buy food because I work and pay for everything else ( bills, mortgage, car, etc). I hardly ever by myself clothes, or anything. When he has extra, it goes into his cards. He is a stay at home dad. He used to cook and clean and contribute. Now if I ask him to do anything I'm nagging him or being a b!tch. He is going to school online for his masters. However that is also taking a back seat to his cards. He'll wait till the last minute to do his school stuff and I end up having to do a lot more by myself. The only time we can have sex is when he does this online thing for his cards. Which he ends up staying up till 3 am to do. I never get to sleep in on my days off ( I work three days a week). I am constantly doing almost everything, while he is catching up on his sleep. ( Cleaning, taking care of our daughter and the dog , cooking). It is Non stop for me. I wish i had five minutes to relax!!When he wakes up at noon or one, he is on eBay. I've told him the cards upset me, but he says I just want him to fail and don't take him seriously. He also has them all over the house. The have made there way into our kitchen. I asked him to move them and promises me he will the next day. Three days later they still sit. When I say something about them, he tells me I'm nagging him and gets mad. When I tell him something that upsets me( not card related) he won't listen. Or if I'm mad, he'll say something smArt. It's gotten to the point I won't tell him stuff that is going on or bothers me because he seems like he doesn't care. I'm starting to hate myself and hate him. What should I to?? Edited September 3, 2013 by Angeleyez2583
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 If I try and make him listen, it's basically shut up and don't nag me.. Last time he yelled at me... Or he'll call me annoying
Nyla Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Keedityp is right. Gather up all the cards and hide them. Tell your husband that since he is acting like a kid, you will treat him like one and keep the cards until he starts to contribute again. If your husband still chooses to behave in an irresponsible and selfish manner, let him know that you do not want to be married to a child and file for divorce. Make a list of the reasons why and leave it with him so that he can think about what he has done.
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Nothing. I get mad hell call me a b!tch. He basically turns it around on me.
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Once again watching our daughter and the dog while he sleeps... He'll get up soon and be asleep till noon
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 I'm also annoyed because he made 1000 last week selling the cards. And I don't ever see any of that money .
Nyla Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 If you're married and still maintaining your own bank accounts, own finances etc then I humbly suggest that you might want to review your entire relationship. That's something a bf/gf might do, not a married couple. I don't agree with this. Many married couples do not have joint accounts and their marriages are still happy. It all depends on the couple. My husband and I still have our own bank accounts while sharing one of them. Our marriage is very joyous. 1
Nyla Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Each to their own, but I just don't get it. Hey honey the mortgage payment is due can I have your half? Hey sweety I'm going grocery shopping can I have your share? Hey babe the utilities are due and I paid them, you owe me $x. Hey gorgeous do you want to go on a holiday to X? Nah, I can't afford it. (while the other spouse is flush with funds). I just can't get my head around that. In reference to the OP, the husband is making good money from his little venture and not sharing that with his wife. By the sounds of it because she has her own money. Sorry I still don't get it. What's the benefit of one spouse having $25,000 in their bank account and can go out and buy new things at will when the other spouse is lucky to keep a positive balance and is buying second hand jeans because they can't afford a new pair. Just makes no sense. I don't know who you are talking about. My husband and I do not split everything down the middle. He makes more so he pays for more expenses which is only fair. I would say the same thing if I made more than he did. We also do not deprive each other if either of us is short of cash. I agree that the OP and her husband should be sharing money.
MidwestUSA Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Are you still paying for groceries with his mom's credit card? If so, Lurker is spot on. He has no sense of responsibility to his family. You essentially have an adult child. Where is his pride?
jimmytwowheels Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Everyone handles their finances differently. My SO and I are rather young, but we make it work living together. I make about 2 or three times what she does, and the mortgage is mine. I would love for her to not need to work, but she says that she likes the feeling of contributing to the household. She also helps a lot with renovations and does the laundry and cleaning. On the other hand I pretty much do all the cooking. Odd right? Naw I'm just a better cook and I enjoy it. We have a system for example that whoever does the cooking doesn't have to do the dishes. It works. We have a shared bank account where both of our paychecks are deposited and where bills are paid from. Not so bad an arrangement. For each their own, but I can't imagine not sharing finances. Your husband sounds like an utter tool by the way.
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