David_Marsh Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I feel crap right now .... Background: Social life non-existent; Not attracting women I like via online dating; Naturally shy person; Not approached a lady in public ever; Last 3 weeks I bought some books about dating and got really interested on how to approach women in the street. Last couple of weekends thought about walking upto a few but shyed away. Thought this was me adjusting my mindset - no problem. Today, one of the most stunning women I've seen in my life walked onto the train. I though ok let's do this. Started reharsing the approach in my mind. Started feeling nervous. Took one step forward and my knees went numb. Took a step back to compose myself but my anxiety was sky high, wiped my forehead with my sleeve and sweat. My anxiety was so high that and I swear to God almost fainted. I so badly needed water. Few minutes later, I felt a bit better as I got to my stop. But i thought, lets wait untill the next stop (final stop) and once we get on the platform, I can say hi to her. However, she was first to leave the train and instantly there where to many ppl between us. I followed her to the other platform but she was too far down and bout to get on the train by the time i got there. She was one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen and i feel like crap I didnt say hi to her. To be fair, it's impossible to approach her if you seriously about to pass out. I've been mugged once with a blade pointing towards me and I did not feel half the anxiety as I did today. Why does talking to gorgeous women bring so much fear in me? How do I overcome this? I'm a very shy person 'at first'. I think I need professional practical help from a dating coach/wingman. I feel crap man.
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Don't go for super gorgeous women, how about a pretty girl plain Jane type. It takes a very confident man to step to a Tyra Banks Heidi Klum type so...
jcrew11 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Well David, You don't want to over-think it because then the anxiety builds. You want to be as natural as possible. Don't be stalkerish. Be cool, chill, and relaxed. Be happy and smile. When you talk to people, male or female, just say "Hi, how's it going?" or "How is your day going" or make an observation, a joke about the weather/etc. or comment on her clothes or ask where she is going or if she is a student/occupation. You just want to get to know someone as a platonic friend only. Then if she likes you and is single, then you can ask for her number.
MrCastle Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Think about their flaws. Their cons. They have them just like we do. Also remember all the ugly losers you see with hot chicks all the time and tell yourself "why can't I be one of those ugly losers?" Good luck brah
365daysgone Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 You do NOT need advice to be able to approach girls. You first need advice to overcome anxiety or social anxiety if that is what you have. It will take awhile, trust me. You need to start facing situations that make you only SLIGHTLY nervous and then move up to more anxiety induced situations. The situation you described here is going to take you at least 3-4 months. I cannot stress enough to you - DO NOT KEEP ATTEMPTING THIS SITUATION! if you continue to make this situation one that is going to make you faint, you are just going to build in your mind that it is scary when in fact there is nothing to be afraid of. Good luck.
AngelKing001 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) Practice at your local pub after a few beers. When you see this chick again, don´t think much of it... Just have a pretext ready and on your way. Could be anything, ask for the time and from there on just let the conversation go. Talk to her as if she´s just a friend and not as if she´s the stunning fox that you see... Its perfectly normal to feel anxious near amazingly beitiful women. It has happend in the past with me before, words come out jumbled and I end making no sense...just practice it over...you´ll be just fine Edited September 3, 2013 by AngelKing001 spelling
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