swazzzz Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Hi, I had a break up a few months ago after which I took a break from seeing anyone. Well, I went out a couple of weeks back and met this girl and we exchanged numbers. We eventually decided to meet up on a Saturday evening for a couple of drinks. She picked the place and asked me to meet her there at 8 pm. She reached a few minutes late while I had already ordered us some wine. Anyway, we had quite casual but interesting banter, finding out things about one another, asking questions, the works. At one point, we spoke about each others psyche, way of looking at life etc etc. Suffice to say, it was quite a pleasant evening and we shared great rapport and found common interests that were refreshing. We eventually left at 1130 pm and I insisted on paying for the check which I think was the right thing to do. Kissed her on the cheek at the valet as she got her car and said good night. I texted her after half an hour or so saying that it was very nice to meet her and that I had a great time and that we should do it again. To which she replied "nice meeting you too (smiley face). Have a good night and drive safe". I found this to be amiable and not very over the top. I was busy the next day and didn't contact her then. I texted her on Monday afternoon, saying " hey, how are you? How's your day been?". Tried to keep it casual and not seem too over eager. Well, it is past midnight in my time zone now and am yet to receive a reply. My question is: do I follow up on Tuesday afternoon with a text or a call because she told me that she has a day off from work on Tuesday and I would like to meet her. Or is following up without receiving a reply too desperate? I am now having second thoughts about the outcome of the date. Is it possible that I may have mis-interpreted the date that we had? Why would she not reply to a simple text? I most certainly didn't write or say anything that would creep her out. Or do I just wait it out till she responds to me? What is the logical way to go about this? I like this girl, she is very is very level headed and straight forward. She is 4 years older to me but it never even made a difference during our date. We got along very well and I hope she was ok with me as well. What should I do?
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It's possible that she didn't even get the text. I texted someone after a date because he asked me to so he could know I got home safe. He didn't get it but lucky for me he didn't freak out about it he just texted later asking if I did get home safe. So don't panic after one text. I'd call tomorrow just to see how she's doing maybe ask on another date, if that's what you want. Some people get turned off by too many texts too. It's better to just be straight forward if she says no, move on to the next. 2
Author swazzzz Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Well, I texted her with a ''hey, how's it going? Busy couple of days?" about 2 hours ago, and not received a response yet. It is 2 pm here and am thinking about giving her a call at around 4 pm and see if she answers. Am pretty confused with regards to her behavior, she told me she is off on Tuesday so I was hoping to call her and fix a second date with her. But her not replying to my texts kind of puts me in an awkward position. How can I call her and make myself NOT look too over-eager?
HappyLove Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Well if you've sent another text and no response she's probably not interested. If you call and no answer you need to move on she's not interested. Sorry, some people are jerks. 1
Author swazzzz Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Thanks for the note. Well I did call her and there was no answer so I left her a voicemail. Had given up hope when all of a sudden she called me. She said she was in the shower when I had called and did not mention not replying to my texts and I didn't bring up that topic either. Anyway, she said she is busy tonight and then she said that she gets off work at 8 on Thursday so we can do something after that. I kept it at that, made some small talk about how her day has been and then told her I will call her on Thursday afternoon to fix up a place to go to. Tried to keep it as nonchalant as possible. Hope I took the right step. 2
HappyLove Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Yea, sounds good! She's interested so just take it easy. Show her a good time thurs and don't bring up the texts. Since the texts are questionable, when you have a good time thurs just give a quick ring maybe an hour after your date and let her know you had a great time and hope to do it again. I prefer a call myself texts are too impersonal sometimes. Good luck! 1
Author swazzzz Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 I met her at a club few weeks back and since then we have been texting. In fact, the only time she called me was yesterday and on our date to tell me that she was running late. So she is fine with texting. Lets hope when I call tomorrow to fix up a time and place to meet, she answers the call. Question: do I take her out to dinner at a restaurant or a bar for drinks or to a club for partying? This will be our second date and I really don't want to screw things up. What would be the norm here?
HappyLove Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Depends on the type of girl she is. You really like her so I think a nice dinner is called for. Clubbing...I would hate that, I don't do clubs plus clubs on a Thursday night? Sounds like a bad idea, but depends on the girl I guess. You could always give a quick call to confirm the date and ask if dinner at xyz is ok. Good luck! 1
Author swazzzz Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Well actually in this country that we are in right now, the weekend is Friday and Saturday. Weird but that is how it is. So yeah, clubbing on a Thursday is similar to clubbing on a Friday night which is usually normal. But anyhow, I would like to run it by her when I give her a call tomorrow. Do women like to be given the option to pick and choose a place or do they like the guy to pick the place and decide? Sorry for the seemingly dumb questions, I really want to get this right. Dating isn't my forte so seeking as much friendly advice as I can get. Thanks once again.
HappyLove Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Since you seem to like her a lot I'd do a nice dinner. I like a man who plans the date, no harm in asking if the place is ok. She needs to know where to meet you anyway. Then just have a backup incase she doesn't like the place you mention. I'd keep it simple a nice dinner if she suggests going to another spot then ok, but this way you guys can sit have a nice convo get to know each other. If its warm where you are maybe a nice outdoor cafe and you can go on a nice stroll somewhere for dessert. But I wouldn't monopolize her time for an all nighter. Leave her wanting more. Good luck! 1
Lansing Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Personally I think you need to improve your texts if you texts girls in the future. The "how has your day been going" is the most boring thing ever. How about sharing with her a story or asking her something specific. Sometimes girls don't know what to respond. If you get a "good, and you" response is that really much to work with? I am surprised she called you back. Based on the story I thought she was flaking on you. Don't chase her too much. Hope Thursday goes well, keep us updated.
Author swazzzz Posted September 6, 2013 Author Posted September 6, 2013 Alright so quick update. I was supposed to meet her at 10 pm but I got out of work real late so I called her and told her to push it to 11. I had to run an errand at a friend's place which took longer than usual. At around 11 she calls me and says that she would be reaching in 5 minutes. I was embarrassingly still at my friend's place so I told her that. She got furious and said that this is not done, am cancelling and heading back home and hung up on me. I quickly left the house, took a cab and went straight to the place where we were supposed to meet. I called her on the way, told her I would be reaching in 10 minutes. She said ok and then I met her around 11:15. So technically I was 15 minutes late. I know I screwed up and her not cancelling on me was a relief. Anyway, we went to an Italian restaurant for dinner, struck up a good conversation (not before I had apologised profusely for my goof up) and were there till pretty late, till 2 am. Finished up a bottle of wine between the two of us. After dinner, I walk her to her car, give her a kiss on the cheek before she got inside the car and then leaned in and kisser her again on the cheek ( I was a bit tipsy, maybe the 2nd kiss wasn't required). Texted her after an hour, saying that hope you got home safe and that I had a great night. She replied after 20 mins saying that she did and she had a good night and sleep well. Pretty amiable. I replied saying thanks and nice talking to you tonight. She had to work the next morning so I texted her later in the day after she finished asking how was her day. Haven't got a reply for that yet, and not really expecting one. So I have a feeling that I may have messed things up by being late and by kissing her on the cheek twice. Am a bit insecure so not able to be very optimistic here. But judging by her reactions and text replies, what do you guys have to say? What should be my next move? This was our 2nd date. Should I give it some time and space and maybe contact her after a few days and fix another date or should I play the boyfriend card and text and call her once a day to have a general conversation? Or is it too soon? Please give me your honest opinions.
HappyLove Posted September 7, 2013 Posted September 7, 2013 Give it time and space. You screwed up, but sounds like you recovered nicely. Don't contact for a few days give her time to process how she feels. Don't allow her to add clingy to the list, back off some. Hopefully she will reach out to you. Just back off for now. And remember at the end of the day it's not the end if the world if she declines, you can find someone who is right for you. Good luck! 1
Author swazzzz Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 Was the second kiss bit too much or do you think I was civil enough? I don't want to get friend-zoned or anything, I tried to be fun and casual and slight flirting during the night. Somehow am not able to process NOT receiving a reply to a text. It makes me nervous and twitchy, making me think that I messed up somewhere bad that I am not aware of.
Author swazzzz Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I messed up. Despite being told not to contact her, I called her on Saturday afternoon and did not get an answer. I didn't leave a voicemail. And I did not get a call back. Am going to wait till maybe Tuesday or Wednesday and then text her or call her and see if she is keen on meeting up for dinner on Wednesday evening. Would that be the right way to go about this?
Author swazzzz Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 Well good news. I gave it a few days and called her on Tuesday. Surprisingly she answered, much to my relief. We had a cool conversation, basically just catching up on each others work and how the days have been and all. I asked her out for the weekend for dinner and she said if her friend is not visiting her from out of town then she is happy to come. All in all, it was a good 15 minute phone conversation and I got a good feeling about it. Now this will be our third date. Any pointers as to where to take her and how should I behave? Any third date rules that I should be aware of?
Recommended Posts