freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Question for the ladies, how much of a betrayal would you consider lying about age? I seem to be having quite a bit of trouble meeting women online. I'm a 23 year old male, successful (I will make 6 figures soon), I am NOT socially awkward, I'm more or less in good shape, I'm not a bad looking guy and I dress well. Also, I'm pretty mature, when I meet people and tell them I'm 23 I turn heads. I guess the funniest comment I've heard is that I don't hold myself like a 23 year old, I give off an aura or something that indicates I own a house with 2 cars. I'm not really looking to hit it and quit it, but it seems that I'm not getting many responses from girls of ages 22+. I thought that being young AND successful would be an attractive quality which should separate me from the rest. I spent a month on okcupid from which I got no dates, but meeting people in person, I get numbers right and left. I'll take comments, thanks...
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I am not a fan of online dating personally. If you are getting numbers left right and centre outside of it, why go online? And no I don't think is good to lie about your age. If you met someone you like down the line you will have to tell them the truth, and maybe they might wonder what else have you lied about? 2
Author freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 True, but I just moved due to work so I don't have many friends to go out and meet people with. Go out alone?
MrCastle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It's not you. It's online dating. Why would they go for a "more or less in shape guy" when they can get a "in very good shape" guy? Why go for a "not bad looking" guy when they can hold out for a "incredibly good looking" guy? Online dating, for both sexes, is largely physical. Unless they are looking for long term stuff, but most young 20 somethings are not. You are doing incredibly well for your age and will be quite a catch when women your age decide to settle down. But making good money/having a good career for a 22 year old woman who just wants a no string fling, it means absolutely nothing. If you are doing well in real life, as already mentioned in here, stick to real life. Online dating is a headache for the majority of people, male and female. 2
MidwestUSA Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 True, but I just moved due to work so I don't have many friends to go out and meet people with. Go out alone? Absolutely, if you're comfortable with it! Be careful with OLD, and don't fudge your age. Patience, and good luck!
MrCastle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 True, but I just moved due to work so I don't have many friends to go out and meet people with. Go out alone? Just saw this. Start making connections at work. Use OLD if you absoutely have to. OLD should be a supplement -- a secondary outlet, never primary.
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Is there anyone at your new work you would consider going out with on the town? I can understand being in a new place is difficult. Or are there any particular activities you are into, any groups you could join where you might meet new people, even male ones to go out with etc? It is fine to online date if you really wish to, but don't lie about your age.
Author freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Just saw this. Start making connections at work. Use OLD if you absoutely have to. OLD should be a supplement -- a secondary outlet, never primary. What is "OLD" ? Also, to be clear, I am a good looking guy just dont prefer saying it that way. I recently met two girls (in person) who are mid to late twenties, and I told both I was older. Had one date already and probably wont see her again seeing as she didn't reply to my text the day after. The other one I should be seeing this week. Would you think they would both be devastated to find out the good looking guy who dropped $150 on a first date, has a nice place and is really mature is actually a bit younger?
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Why on earth would you do that? So you can get a date with a girl who will dump you when she finds out you lied to her and then you can come on here complain how women are shallow? 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Would you think they would both be devastated to find out the good looking guy who dropped $150 on a first date, has a nice place and is really mature is actually a bit younger? It wouldn't be devastating, but personally, I consider lying about age or anything else to be a big problem. Once I found out you lied, I'd probably dump you. I have very low tolerance for lying. It could also benefit me in the dating world to lie about my age, but I never have and never will. 2
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 What is "OLD" ? Also, to be clear, I am a good looking guy just dont prefer saying it that way. I recently met two girls (in person) who are mid to late twenties, and I told both I was older. Had one date already and probably wont see her again seeing as she didn't reply to my text the day after. The other one I should be seeing this week. Would you think they would both be devastated to find out the good looking guy who dropped $150 on a first date, has a nice place and is really mature is actually a bit younger? First of all it should not matter how much you spend on a first date or whether you have a nice place really. It is you the person they should be connecting with. And did you mention your age or did they ask? In my experience that doesn't come up before a first date or were they OLD? Really a lie is a lie and it is not good to tell any. I am 9 years older than my boyfriend. I never lied, we didn't know the age gap until a couple of weeks in as we didn't ask each other our ages. It has never been a problem. 1
Author freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 First of all it should not matter how much you spend on a first date or whether you have a nice place really. It is you the person they should be connecting with. And did you mention your age or did they ask? In my experience that doesn't come up before a first date or were they OLD? Really a lie is a lie and it is not good to tell any. I am 9 years older than my boyfriend. I never lied, we didn't know the age gap until a couple of weeks in as we didn't ask each other our ages. It has never been a problem. Very valid points, this I know. However, it is also a valid point that girls typically do care about money and status ... They don't have to be gold diggers and neither do I want one, but usually this is always on the table. I guess I do like older women because I find keeping conversation with them is easier. They aren't the "dont call me, I only text" type.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 why would you want to lie about your age...own it is what i feel and be happy that you are the age you are ...how old do you saY you are or do you lie aboUt youR age ................deb
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Ok, I hate when people lie online.....BUT if you are just looking to ATTRACT older women who are more on your level I think you could bump your age up online but put in your profile your real age and why you did it. Honestly a woman who is in her thirties probably isn't going to include a guy in your age range in her search so this could be a way to broaden your search. But then again are you contacting women online or are you waiting for them to contact you? I hope you are contacting women you are interested in. If you come across respectful and mature an older woman would give you a chance. 1
Author freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 why would you want to lie about your age...own it is what i feel and be happy that you are the age you are ...how old do you saY you are or do you lie aboUt youR age ................deb I usually go with the flow of the conversation, but NO one thinks I'm 23. I've been told that I look and sound as high as mid thirties.
KathyM Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Don't lie about your age. That's incredibly lame. People don't like to be deceived. OLD is generally not what people your age do anyway. College aged people go to parties, activities, hang out with their social group, and that kind of thing. I would suggest meeting people IRL at your age. Leave the OLD for those who are well out of the college years.
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Very valid points, this I know. However, it is also a valid point that girls typically do care about money and status ... They don't have to be gold diggers and neither do I want one, but usually this is always on the table. I guess I do like older women because I find keeping conversation with them is easier. They aren't the "dont call me, I only text" type. That's a big assumption!! Some do, some don't. Personally if a guy spent say 100 quid on a first date it would put me off. Splashing the cash isn't something many women are comfortable with. It would almost make me feel I owed him something and if I didn't want to go on a second date I would feel bad he had spent all that money. It is showing off a bit, trying to impress too much to me. First couple of dates should be low key, for me anyway. If you like older women then seriously I would stay off online dating. Let people,see what you are like in the real world. You will start meeting new people. I tried online darting once but gave up quickly as I look much younger than my age of 44 and have always dated younger men. The only replies I got online were men in their late 50s. I knew it was not for me as people had to meet me to know the real me.
nescafe1982 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 If I went out with a guy I thought was 25 and then he turned out to be 23, that would be a dealbreaker. End of the line. Don't do it. Fudging on your age isn't quite like fudging your height... if age matters to the women you meet, they will feel deceived and break it off once they find out the truth. I understand your predicament if you aren't into the 22-23 year old women and want to date older. But it would perhaps be better to just state your preference on your online dating profile than to lie about your age. Fibbing about age does come off as immature, after all. Also, consider that online dating is tough for folks in their early twenties (so I gather). If you're not having much luck but want to cast the net wider than the cafe next to your house, you could try Meetups or some other group-setting social scene. You can meet ladies that share your interests and let your charm work its magic in person. 1
Author freebird1 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 That's a big assumption!! Some do, some don't. Personally if a guy spent say 100 quid on a first date it would put me off. Splashing the cash isn't something many women are comfortable with. It would almost make me feel I owed him something and if I didn't want to go on a second date I would feel bad he had spent all that money. It is showing off a bit, trying to impress too much to me. First couple of dates should be low key, for me anyway. If you like older women then seriously I would stay off online dating. Let people,see what you are like in the real world. You will start meeting new people. I tried online darting once but gave up quickly as I look much younger than my age of 44 and have always dated younger men. The only replies I got online were men in their late 50s. I knew it was not for me as people had to meet me to know the real me. You do make a valid point. However, I live in Manhattan, $100 bucks is basically not that much money, a dinner for two at a nice place is around $35 bucks a head. Add in a bottle or two of wine after and your looking at $125 - $150 easy. Is my idea of a first date too over the top?
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You do make a valid point. However, I live in Manhattan, $100 bucks is basically not that much money, a dinner for two at a nice place is around $35 bucks a head. Add in a bottle or two of wine after and your looking at $125 - $150 easy. Is my idea of a first date too over the top? No, your idea of a date is not over the top at all! It's nice if you ask whoever your dating what their interests are and plan a date according to your mutual interest.
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You do make a valid point. However, I live in Manhattan, $100 bucks is basically not that much money, a dinner for two at a nice place is around $35 bucks a head. Add in a bottle or two of wine after and your looking at $125 - $150 easy. Is my idea of a first date too over the top? i guess it would depend on the woman. Sorry that is not of much help! I live in London so can understand how costly these things are. I have always been more comfortable on a first date to either go for a drink or just to a small local type restaurant. Something simple. Somewhere we can just chat. More fancy places have been further down the road with a boyfriend. But that is how I feel. Other women may differ.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I usually go with the flow of the conversation, but NO one thinks I'm 23. I've been told that I look and sound as high as mid thirties. ok so you are wanting older women......you have to own your age because if you are after longevity.........be truthful from the beginning..or admit how old you are...it is unfair and wrong to deceive someone for personal gain,but it takes guts to be truthful once you have been deceptive....its admirable to tell the truth and own a lie......then that lie can be forgiven and you move on...hopefully with honesty in hand.......deb
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